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Quick post...

Since taking up temporary residence at my home with W and kids, I'm finding it very strange to be back in the house. As a reminder to readers, (I told my W that I wasn't moving back in but that I would only stay as long as she needed me or wanted me to stay).

As part of my GAL, Wednesday nights is usually late movie night with me and my roommate. This week was no different and I told W that I was going out. She asked where I was heading and I told her and she oh, cool. Have fun.

Thursday we went out to lunch...alone...together for the first time in months. Nothing special other than being able to spend a little time with her, but we really didn't have much to talk about. I'm fearful that if we ever did get back together, we'd not have anything to talk about and what a shame that would be.

Yesterday, I was holed up in the guest bedroom upstairs reading/writing and W said twice, that I didn't have to stay upstairs. I thought that was an interesting comment.

This morning, I made breakfast for W, (I keep filling that Acts of Service love tank smile ) and she seemed really appreciative. Later in the day I decided I needed to get out of the house and give us both some space. So, I went over to my other place and hung out there for awhile before heading to the gym for a workout.

When I got back to the house W was upstairs working on the computer and she tells me that she sold some stuff on Ebay and how we should do more of it. Good idea I say and give some suggestions on things we could sell.

Later she says she needs to run to the post office and the kids ask her to bring home some frozen yogurt. W agrees and says, Dad what flavor do you want?

It seems strange that recently she talks about things in an almost inclusive (as in me and her) way. Yet, I still believe that her OM is still in the picture and that would have to end completely before anything could advance for us.

It is all just so very strange. Part of me feels like things are slowly getting back to normal but the other more rational thinking part of me knows that is not the case. That this is but a brief pause in our continuing separation.

Is she having second thoughts? Who knows. What I do know is that I will need to look for an exit in the next week or so as she gets healthier so that I can work on detaching and she can figure out what she wants to do with her life. My efforts to fill her LL love tank seems to be working as she is getting more from me than she probably thought was possible.

Anyway, that's all for now.


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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Keep up the awesome work!!

I know it must be hard not to wonder what's going on in her mind- but there do seem to be some changes happening, for the positive.

You continue to impress me with your ability to provide an encouraging environment and unconditional love for your W.... She's a fool if she can't see that.


M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12
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She is moving closer right now so what you are doing is working. Do what works!!


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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T2 - this must be tough for you balancing hope with trying to detach. Not an easy road to walk.

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Good for you for keeping your own life going. This is SUCH A SLOW PROCESS!!!!!!! Hang in there and keep focus on your goals.


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
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Quick post:

Living back at the house, albeit temporarily, it feels a little strange to go off and do various GAL activities. So I took a risk Saturday night. My roommate and his GF went to a late movie and I was invited to join them.

W was out and about until 8pm then once she got home, I told her that I was going out for awhile. She said ok, but in a way that was kind of like... fine!

Anyway, went out and saw Wonderlust with Jennifer Aniston and other assorted characters. The movie turned out to be unexpectedly raunchy and I felt kind of naughty for being out so late on a Saturday night without my W. I actually got in at 12:45am! Oh the horror!!!! smile

Today, I took S10 to church then grabbed some breakfast and then off to the gym for a workout. When we got home, W was out with S13, so S10 and I just hung out for the rest of the afternoon.

I made dinner for the family tonight and it was yummy and W seemed to appreciate it!

Not much else to report on so, I'm gonna call it a night!


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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sounds like quite a nice way to spend a sunday.


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Originally Posted By: 2thepoint

Thursday we went out to lunch...alone...together for the first time in months. Nothing special other than being able to spend a little time with her, but we really didn't have much to talk about. I'm fearful that if we ever did get back together, we'd not have anything to talk about and what a shame that would be.


That is one of my fears, too. Most of the time, H and I talk about S4. I do ask him how his days are at work, which is not easy to do because it brings up thoughts of OW (they work together, even sit next to each other). So responses are usually very brief. When I try to talk about something else, he's usually very brief as well. I often feel that there is an awkward silence between us. :-/

I also wanted to comment on the great job that you are doing! It must not be easy to be back in the house without being all over the place with your emotions. And good for you for keeping up with your GAL plans!


Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11


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Thanks everyone for your posts.

Quick update, then probably more later tonight:

There have been a couple weird interactions with W over the past couple of days that have me thinking about what might be running through her mind.

First example:
The other day W calls out to me to ask when am I leaving for the grocery store. I told her I was leaving in 2 minutes and she says, oh, ok. Later I learn that she wanted to take a shower and in order to do so she has to remove her portable defib device. She gets nervous because if she has a problem it is comforting for her to know that I am here to help her.

The problem is she did not tell me at the time that she wanted to take a shower. If she had I would have waited for her before leaving.

Second example:
W sends me a text telling me that she told S13 that she would pick him up from school. OK...... So I ask her later if she was just informing me or would she like me to pick him up from school? She said if you could pick him up that would be great. OK..... so why not just ask me?

Third example:
We are discussing kid sport practice logistics and I remind W that I have a Divorce Care meeting tonight (yes, the elephant in the room!) and that we are going to have problems juggling it all. She then changes the subject from my DC meeting to the fact that a burger joint that a friend of ours owns has closed and wonders where it has been moved to. Where did that come from? Oh yea, clear out in left field!!

So anyway, just some little odd interactions. W seems reluctant to ask me straight up when she needs something and also seems to kind of want to avoid the elephant in the room (i.e. our R).

Later I need to talk to her about my upcoming trip to Spain. I need to know today if she thinks she is going to need me around. Because if I need to cancel, I have to do it today. I'm perfectly happy to cancel if I need to but I can see her not wanting to get in the way of my trip. It's going to be an interesting conversation.

I'll follow up later on how it went.


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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Your optimistic attitude is as always inspiring.

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