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#2223721 - 02/21/12 01:52 AM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: ClingingToHope]
whatisis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 8165
Loc: Canada
Well, I got SDA Lady to my apartment today...and let's just say I'm not getting any for a looooooooong time! We had a talk on you know what and we discussed the differences between dating here and the Philippines...when I picked her up off the floor she was fine lol. I said "I know in the Philippines you guys can go six months before even kissing" and she said "Yes, we can and we do!" She told me she wanted to know about how things happen here. One of her fears about dating here was that she didn't know what men would want. I told her that just because I was telling her that things go faster here doesn't mean that I want her to do anything she isn't comfortable with. I said "I will never push you to do anything you don't want to do" So we had a good talk about you know what. I said that I was OK with not being physically intimate, I just needed to know that she cared about me and she said she needed the same from me. Then we went out for dinner.
_________________________
Divorced February 27, 2012.

Hope is not about moving mountains but about moving loose rocks one at a time ~ Fredrike Bannink

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#2223723 - 02/21/12 01:53 AM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: whatisis]
whatisis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 8165
Loc: Canada
Btw, we did a lot of snuggling on the couch, it wasn't a completely wasted effort on my part lol!
_________________________
Divorced February 27, 2012.

Hope is not about moving mountains but about moving loose rocks one at a time ~ Fredrike Bannink

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#2223727 - 02/21/12 02:19 AM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: whatisis]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9692
Loc: GA
6 months waiting for a simple kiss??????????? Omg! I'm going to watch for a mushroom cloud coming from the great white north.
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


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#2223738 - 02/21/12 02:41 AM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: ]
SunFunOne Offline
Member

Registered: 05/18/09
Posts: 2450
Wii
Is that REALLY how slow YOU want to go? That is beyond painful!
Waiting on sex is one thing but not even kissing is just a bit weird.
Anyway - to each his own but make sure You are goo g at your pace too
Barb

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#2223762 - 02/21/12 03:32 AM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: SunFunOne]
whatisis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 8165
Loc: Canada
We cuddle, hold hands, hug and kiss on the cheek. It's nice and she's affectionate. It's all just a matter of time. She wants physical intimacy to grow as our emotional relationship grows, that's what she said. So, we'll just keep enjoying each other and see what happens.
_________________________
Divorced February 27, 2012.

Hope is not about moving mountains but about moving loose rocks one at a time ~ Fredrike Bannink

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#2223763 - 02/21/12 03:35 AM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: whatisis]
whatisis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 8165
Loc: Canada
Btw, while we sat on the couch she fed me blackberries. I felt like Caesar lol!
_________________________
Divorced February 27, 2012.

Hope is not about moving mountains but about moving loose rocks one at a time ~ Fredrike Bannink

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#2223844 - 02/21/12 02:12 PM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: ]
SunFunOne Offline
Member

Registered: 05/18/09
Posts: 2450
Yes Gabby - that was my point. Wii - as long as you totally let her run the show as far as how long to wait - she has you "by the balls" so to speak.

She is a mother - not a virgin. She has had sex before. It is not a bad thing to wait a bit and get to know someone better but to not even kiss????

Josh and I waited 3 months before we actually had sex. It was difficult but worth it. It was also the longest 3 months of my life! But we kissed on the lips on the first date and it was wonderful. I don't think I would have held out more than 2 weeks. If he didn't kiss me - I would have walked. I know that you are "cuddling and kissing on the cheek" - but as I said a long time ago - that's Jr High.

JMHO - it's your dating life but you have expressed wanting more then you go back to going along with whatever she wants. Just be clear with yourself and don't go along convincing yourself that it's all perfection.

Barb

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#2223850 - 02/21/12 02:23 PM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: SunFunOne]
whatisis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 8165
Loc: Canada
I agree. I'm not saying I'm going to let her run the show. But as far as sex, I'm not pushing that and don't even want that at the moment. But, I also want to give room for her cultural preferences too. If she wants to wait a few more weeks before kissing on the lips I can live with that. But, she knows I want to do this and also knows that she's not in the Philippines anymore...her friends have told her this too. Again, dating and intimacy with someone besides our ex-spouses is new for both of us, it takes patience. If you care for someone you try and compromise. We'll see how it goes.
_________________________
Divorced February 27, 2012.

Hope is not about moving mountains but about moving loose rocks one at a time ~ Fredrike Bannink

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#2223957 - 02/21/12 08:12 PM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: whatisis]
whatisis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 8165
Loc: Canada
hey, forgot to let you guys in on yesterdays adventures...aside from my apartment, that is. First I went to my Mom's to have lunch with her and then went to pick SDA Lady up. We headed to the Science Centre but traffic was lined up down the street and the parking lots were all full! So, we decided to go to the Bridlepath, where all the rich people live. After touring that and SDA Lady getting lots of photos of rich people's houses she suggested we buy some fruit and go to the beach...and yes, we did. We got a lovely picnic table right out on the point...and froze our butts off! After picture taking and five minutes of fruit eating SDA Lady suggested we go back to my car and finish our fruit there. From there it was to my place, where aside from discussing you know what, we looked at photo albums of my kids. Then after some couch surfing together we went to Montana's for dinner...she paid. A nice day all round despite our original plans falling through...but we also saved $60 because of it too.
_________________________
Divorced February 27, 2012.

Hope is not about moving mountains but about moving loose rocks one at a time ~ Fredrike Bannink

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#2224205 - 02/22/12 06:47 PM Re: Another thread, another needle to pull [Re: whatisis]
whatisis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 8165
Loc: Canada
That friggin' cold has returned! The sneezing, coughing and the body aches and pains...oh, joy! People told me that it comes back usually in about two weeks...it's right on schedule. I texted SDA Lady who says "Oh no... when u get home drink ginger and honey and lots of fluids...and pls, no chips!" She saw my Dorito stash on the weekend lol. I said "I promise to be good" She replied "OK, cuz promises are made not to be broken lol" I replied "Ur making me smile, thx" she said "Good, if ur happy then u can fight the cold, it means ur immune system is high! Take care" Tonight, it will be an early bedtime. Damn virus!
_________________________
Divorced February 27, 2012.

Hope is not about moving mountains but about moving loose rocks one at a time ~ Fredrike Bannink

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