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Wow I hear you on the son's having issues with their dad's behavior. My son doesn't even want to go stay with his dad bc 'dad is always mad, he yells at me" etc etc. He goes but he has said he'd rather stay w/me.

Yay for the guy news! I knew you had been out but didn't realize it had gone exclusive. The communication thing is fabulous. I am glad you have found that and I am looking for that, too. So great to hear from you... smile


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
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My EXH has lots of anger and is defensive 90 percent of the time. There is no way to communicate with him at all. If I say anything .. he turns it into something negative. I really try not to interact with him at all. I wonder why he always comes and sits by me at the sporting events... blech! I mean he can spew nasty stuff at me and then show up and sit beside me like everything is fine. I have started standing back till he sits but now he stands by me till I sit.

FEG and I are doing well. We had a few bumps but nothing major but it was nice to resolve things by talking.... and listening. Not being made to feel like my feelings were stupid. We are progressing very nicely.

Plus, he invited me to go to Mexico in May with his daughter and her fiance and his BF and girlfriend. He offered to pay for the week at a resort plus food and drinks if I could swing the airline ticket! So excited to be going on a vacation! Now, I need to figure out what to do with the kiddos.


M:47
M:18
D16, S19
1st S 1/08-5/08
Reconciled/May 7, 2008
Left again Nov 9, 2009
I Filed: Nov 17, 2009
Final: April 14, 2010
EX walked away from kids too



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Wow, a trip together!? Somewhere warm and sunny, sigh! Jealous me. No really that sounds fantastic...


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
Joined: Jan 2008
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Hello!!!!

Been two months since an update and guess what I realized. Yesterday was my 1 Year ANNIVERSARY for my Divorce. Good thing I was out with a girlfriend having a glass of wine when it dawned on m! So a clink of the glasses when I told her and then moved on to another topic.

He is still an absent father and it is affecting the kids. My son is in Counseling and is diagnosed with Inattentive ADD, depression and anxiety... Yeah DAD!

I found a letter that my daughter wrote to her father in her room, explaining why she hated him but the most profound part of the letter was this last sentence: "Your such a MONSTER, except your not a scary classic monster who destroys towns, your a MONSTER who destroys relationships".!!!! UGH I seriously hate him for what he is doing to these wonderful children of ours.... I guess I should say mine now!

I just honestly want to call him a Douche Bag once to his face! But I won't, I have never yelled nor cursed him since it all began and I wouldn't start now. Not that there is any communication anyways.

The good news is the check is on time every month with out fail. That's his ticket to feel good about himself!

On the relationship front FEG and I are still dating and it a great place in our relationship. We will be going to Cabo together in about a month from now to spend a week together! Very excited to not have to worry about kids, it's rough not getting a break but I am glad I am not missing out. I love my kiddos very much.

I hope you all are doing well. I'm still in school. I still read everyone's situations just don't post much anymore.


M:47
M:18
D16, S19
1st S 1/08-5/08
Reconciled/May 7, 2008
Left again Nov 9, 2009
I Filed: Nov 17, 2009
Final: April 14, 2010
EX walked away from kids too



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I just read your update. I am so sorry for your kids. Is there something YOU could do to make them feel better? Are you talking to them about it? I know their R with ex is not your business but when it is about your kids maybe your role could be more active in relation to bringing up the topic, discussing, even "excusing" him in the sense that "people make horrible mistakes etc etc"...? I dont know if I am clear...
Hugs
K


Me&H:42
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Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
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Thanks for stopping by K! We do talk about it and the son is in counseling... he is very angry and his dad totally disgust him. I have educated them as best I could with professional help... i just wonder about their future.

Today would have been my 20th anniversary.... :-(


M:47
M:18
D16, S19
1st S 1/08-5/08
Reconciled/May 7, 2008
Left again Nov 9, 2009
I Filed: Nov 17, 2009
Final: April 14, 2010
EX walked away from kids too



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Wow ~ can't believe it's been so long but busy GAL but not so much in a good way.

FEG and I had a wonderful vacation together in May and we are still dating! It is a great relationship, great communication etc....in Nov... it will be a year since we met. One of the things about him that I dearly love is that if I have an issue with something...and we talk about it....he replies "I'll work on that"... He listens...he is not perfect ..... and never am I but we work on things we need to work on... mine has been how I go about telling him something has bothered me...He told me I come at him...and puts him on defense... and he was right so I agree to work on that and I have. We really haven't had many hurtles and nothing major but he has been there for my daughter,my son and me during this horrible summer.

Now for the bad"

In June my daughter was hospitalized for almost a month and almost died due to a ruptured appendix that had been ruptured inside of her for almost 3 weeks they estimate..so by the time she presented with her illness...she was very sick and came fairly close to "I can't even say it". She recovered at home for 4 weeks after that hospital stay and the last two was getting back to normal and was cleared to go to summer camp.

She was there for less than 24 hours and I got a call she had been hit by a boat prop. The call dropped and that's all I knew for awhile.... they where on the other side of the mountains..so FEG drove me there and in the end it was a big cut below her foot involving some nerves and bone but she is recovering and hopefully be back up to speed in 2 months...the happened the first part of August.

EXH acted like an jerk on both occasions... they had to call a social worker to the hosptial during the first stay..because he grabbed me and wouldn't let me out of the room at one point...not in front of Coral but when I walked across the hallway into her room she could see I was upset and asked him what he did and I tried to reassure her everything was fine and we were both upset...she called him an a$$hole and kicked him out of her room. The social worker straightened him out and it was just tense even from the beginning

My new friends that had never met EX were weirded out by his behavior and soon stopped coming because he had such bad MOJO around him and thankfully he didn't come around much.

When she got hit by the boat prop..he chose not to fly home because he was flying the new 787 and that would have been a sacrifice...so he said when he got home on sunday (this happend on Tues) he wanted to come see her) Soooo Sunday rolls around and we hear nothing by 5 so we go see her Youth group till 6:30 (she's in a wheelchair) we get to the car and see he has called on her cell...she called him back and he said he would see her on Monday....BECAUSE since she didn't answer the phone he made other plans and Debbie (new girl of a few weeks) just walked in the door... well this started a fued between he and her...she was devastated that he chose that over her.

(he lives on a boat and wanted her to come to the boat...umm yea..down the dock and on a 40ft boat in a wheelchair...HUH!! What part of she is really hurt did he not get?)

So...he is still deep in his crisis and doesn't get it...I don't say anything to him about it anymore cause frankly my daughter has a great voice on her.... and I overheard her conversation with her dad .....telling him he needed to "grow a set" and that he "was an a$$hole" and that "she didn't care if she should not say that to him cause nobody else had the guts to tell you and I do". Now, let me say that my daughter never curses.... and I did have a talk with her that she needs to figure out how to get her point across without the disrespectful language to her father.... but on the inside I will admit ....it made me chuckle!

And I am glad to see that she won't allow people to treat her poorly!!!!!

I am still in school and that is going well and trying to sell my home so that is keeping things busy.

So... that's my update!


M:47
M:18
D16, S19
1st S 1/08-5/08
Reconciled/May 7, 2008
Left again Nov 9, 2009
I Filed: Nov 17, 2009
Final: April 14, 2010
EX walked away from kids too



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Wow! What a crazy summer! So glad that your daughter is fine. Sounds as if someone upstairs was giving your ex a sign to be with his daughter but he was too oblivious to get it. Keep being the rock for your kids. You are an awesome lady.

Kat


Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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OMG, I can imagine your scare. She was really lucky with the appendix, someone must be watching over you and yours my dear! Thank GOD!

As for your X, what can I say. He leaves me speechless. I enjoyed the way your D talks to him. I would be proud of herif I were you which I am sure you are.

Have fun,
Hugs
K


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Reconc.November 2009
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Well, a Thanksgiving update seems appropriate! Happy Turkey Day!


Tomorrow will mark 1 year since FEG and I have been dating. We met online for those who are stepping into that arena. My advice, just have fun with it...good, bad, or just funny. I had all three but didn't find anger or disappointment when it didn't go wonderful. I always kept communication very minimal before I met with them. You build up to much assumption in your head on the phone...some could talk on the phone but in person not so much. That would be my only advice.

Hoping to see KerryK this weekend at some point. Other than that we are still dealing with D's stuff from this summer. Lawsuit for boating accident and subsequent intestinal issues (unknown causes) from appendix issue. The thinking is now....something was happening with her intestines and that ticked off the appendix...so on the hunt to find out what.

Since September she has been experiencing some slight panic attacks (with heavy flushing) I have her in counseling...seems related to boating accident. She did get to play some soccer this fall. I would say she is at about 80% of the player she was..she doesn't have the sprint nor the footwork back yet. She is a fighter.

S the wonder boy scored a 31 on his ACT and we are actively looking at colleges. This search is full time and expensive!!

I am still in school and between that and the kids and the unsold house...it's crazy!

EX is still crazy...pretty sure he is a chronic MLC and his head will never emerge from his buttt.


M:47
M:18
D16, S19
1st S 1/08-5/08
Reconciled/May 7, 2008
Left again Nov 9, 2009
I Filed: Nov 17, 2009
Final: April 14, 2010
EX walked away from kids too



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