I've only just begun!

[sandycay]

Well, I can't believe that FFG and I broke up and the forum went down. LOL Just my luck.

A hard break up to do, but it was time. It was the best relationship either one of us has ever been in. No drama, no arguments, just fun and nice.

Now, your wondering why we broke it off? Well, it seems FFG seems to "feel" like he should "feel" a deeper love than he does. He knows he "loves" me but thinks it should be at a deeper level. Now, I was fine with where we are but he is entitled to his feelings as much as me. So, although I don't understand it I dropped the rope.

I am thankful that I know what future relationships should look like. I am more aware than ever of things I want in a man. He was a patient man and after EXH I ddin't know they existed. I am thankful that our break up, however painful it is..... we broke it off before somebody was unfaithful or mean or dishonest. I have to admire him for that.

We have been in conversation for several weeks about this (trying to peg down exactly what was going wrong) and by last week... I started having anxiety over it... feeling like the roller coaster again.... wondering "are we gonna make it" "should I break up with him" "is he going to break up with me"..... I can't do that to myself ever again. That roller coaster ride EXH took me on was enough for me to know it was time to get off.

I have never left a relationship so nicely. It's weird, adult, and you know what .... it still hurts. But it doesn't hurt as much as when soomeone is dishonest.

I am taking Chemistry and a Tmath100 course and that's all the brain damage I need.

Now, I need to decided if I want to be here when he picks his stuff up on Friday. I haven't seen him since the breakup so I don't know if it will set me back or not. On the other hand I would love to see him otherwise based on our locals, we don't have to ever see each ohter again. He wants the kids to see each other though. I think that's a mistake.

[Kalni]

Oh damn! Sandycay I am sorry. It sounds like you handling pain well but pain IS pain no matter what.

You know, there is a place where you always post every little single thing you think and feel. And there will be lots of people that care to listen.
Hugs
K

[smith18]

I so dislike reading this latest news from you.

It brings out some thoughts about my last short lived 9 month relationship.

Much like you, it was an easy breakup, although I stressed so much before it happened. I do hope she has found her "happily ever after" as her parents had planned for her. She was a good person, but like FFG, there was a missing connection between us.

But...and there is always a but...you will rebound and find another good man. You are a good woman with good morals. You live in an area with a lot of opportunity for happiness. You are lucky to be in such a beautiful marine environment and close to one of the great cities of the USA.

As for seeing him again...I was friends with her for a short time following the breakup. But, we fell out of contact. Maybe that was best as I hoped it allowed her to move on much quicker.

Just keep doing your studies for now. Be the best mom for your kids as you have always been. And you will be surprised what comes your way.

[BobbiJo]

Oh, SC! I had actually been wondering how that was going. If it had to end, I agree it is better that it ended without any ugliness, dishonesty, etc etc. But also, I know that drama free does not equal pain free. Hugs...

[kat727]

Sorry that things ended. Glad though that you both saw that there are really wonderful people out there. I wish I knew the right things to say that didn't sound like a cliche.

thinking of you, kat

[ImprovedRomeo]

SC, sorry to hear about you and FFG

I know what you mean, while I can't say I've experienced it at your level but the brief connection I felt with someone not long ago (first time in 10 years) was great, pretty amazing at times- despite the fact we were two very different people.

It's hard being the one who thinks that things are good but the other person feels differently. I wonder if it's because people are searching for very specific things or wanting/expecting too much from the other as opposed to seeing them as an enhancement? They say we waste time looking for the perfect lover instead of creating the perfect love- I think there's some truth to that.

[sandycay]

Oh damn! Sandycay I am sorry. It sounds like you handling pain well but pain IS pain no matter what.

You know, there is a place where you always post every little single thing you think and feel. And there will be lots of people that care to listen.
Hugs
K

Thanks K.... are you saying I post to much on FB? LOL

[sandycay]

I so dislike reading this latest news from you.

It brings out some thoughts about my last short lived 9 month relationship.

Much like you, it was an easy breakup, although I stressed so much before it happened. I do hope she has found her "happily ever after" as her parents had planned for her. She was a good person, but like FFG, there was a missing connection between us.

But...and there is always a but...you will rebound and find another good man. You are a good woman with good morals. You live in an area with a lot of opportunity for happiness. You are lucky to be in such a beautiful marine environment and close to one of the great cities of the USA.
Thank you for saying that Kerry.
As for seeing him again...I was friends with her for a short time following the breakup. But, we fell out of contact. Maybe that was best as I hoped it allowed her to move on much quicker. Yes, I can't be "friends" with a former lover. I can be friendly, but he mentioned doing the Wild Waves haunted house with the kids and doing it together and then something about how he hopes on a nice day he can still ask me to go riding with him. I thought that was weird. I can't hang out with him casually. I don't know why I would or why he would.

Just keep doing your studies for now. Be the best mom for your kids as you have always been. And you will be surprised what comes your way. I have no time between the Chemistry and Math class... which by the way confuses even the tutors I am seeing (thank goodness for them and the college offers them for free up to 4 hours a week)

[sandycay]

Oh, SC! I had actually been wondering how that was going. If it had to end, I agree it is better that it ended without any ugliness, dishonesty, etc etc. But also, I know that drama free does not equal pain free. Hugs...

You got that right sister.... but I can tell you it doesn't hurt like the other one.... so I've been through worse! It's more of losing the relationship, companionship that I am having the most trouble with him.

[sandycay]

Sorry that things ended. Glad though that you both saw that there are really wonderful people out there. I wish I knew the right things to say that didn't sound like a cliche.

thinking of you, kat

Thank you Kat.... I don't even know what to say really. Cause when I tell people they are like 'ohhhhh" like something bad must of happened then I have to explain nothing happened.... it's very confusing...LOL