Could I get some feedback please? I keep telling myself to be the changes I want to see in him,. But for how long? And why does it seem he always gets to behave badly and I am to just keep going. How long do I do this?
Well I think I'm done. I've made chAnges. Worked on the marriage. Forgave what seemed to be unforgivable. But, he's still drinking. We've talked about , fought about it. It's a lot less than b4 but still uses it to cope. Comes home drunk in front if the kids etc. Enough. That's not what I want modeled to my kids. It's not what I want in a HUsband. The drinking was involved a lot in the past and I'm not going through that again. He's had time to change. I did my best. I can say that. I really wanted this to work. I do love him and our family.
Hello I am.!! Life has been so busy. Right now things are good. I continue to work on myself. I DO need to keep up my GAL ing tho H rarely drinking which is great. We are involved in a bible study. Interesting tho. I'm having some triggers right now because of the time of year. In November it will b 2 yrs since H came home. I suddenly would like to ask h a few questions. A few that never got answered. More just the timeline. Is this a bad idea?
Not to be rude...but this is partially why I quit posting about my sitch! Rarely any responses. I really have tried to keep up with others while I have been reconciling my M, Just not posting. Sometimes I just needed a break from the site and reading about others sitch would seem to trigger me. I still have struggles just not sure where to get help. thanks.
Interesting tho. I'm having some triggers right now because of the time of year. In November it will b 2 yrs since H came home. I suddenly would like to ask h a few questions. A few that never got answered. More just the timeline. Is this a bad idea?
I don't think so, I think it's a good idea. Have you and your H been to RetroV? If not you should really consider it, it will give you tools that will allow 2-way communication like you've never had before. You should be comfortable enough in your communications with your H that you don't even have to ask the above, you just go to him and talk about it. RetroV can get you to that point, where you feel nothing is off-limits.
Originally Posted By: lifejustgothard2
Not to be rude...but this is partially why I quit posting about my sitch! Rarely any responses.
This forum gets very little traffic. You'd get more input on Newcomers (even though you're not one anymore).
Hi lifejustgothard. I just read through some of your posts. AnotherStander is right, you would get way more traffic in the Newcomers section, although I will keep checking in to see if you are still here! How are you doing? It's great that you are continuing to focus on yourself and GAL'ing. That's great that you've been in piecing for 2 years. I got the big BD in Feb this year and we have had a CRAZY 6 months, to say the least. Then my H finally told me he wanted to separate and moved out. Now, 2 weeks later he is saying he was starting to change his mind about everything!
What kind of questions were you wondering if you should ask your H about? Is it really pressing to you to know the answers? Are you still doing MC? If so, why not bring up your question in counselling? If your question is something that would ease your mind then perhaps you should ask him about it in a calm, non-confrontational way and just tell him that you need to know for your own peace of mind.
Take care, -cp
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
