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#2217092 - 01/30/12 04:39 AM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: 25yearsmlc]
Snowman Offline
Member

Registered: 09/12/11
Posts: 148
25yearsmlc-Thanks, it helps sometimes when you share what you went through as I guess it just makes it more real for me like I'm sharing with someone that understands.

That is funny your say that you wish you could be in my head because I was thinking the same thing today as far as wanting you to be in my head or there when I interact with my W.

Quote:

The worst is her leaving you for OM, telling you she never loved you, son is not yours, she lies and says you beat her, others believe her, she files for divorce and wants it all and tells everyone you stank in bed too...


As far as I know she is leaving me for OM but I stopped trying to figure it out. She did day she doesn't love me and even one time told me she f'ing hates me and said she doesn't love me and is not physically attracted to me (that one hurt). She has lied to me numerous times but not about beating and I have no idea what she is really saying to others and I don't care. She might be saying I stank in bed for all I know but oh well.

I know it is not the worst and she is being reasonable with me on things so I get your point.

I agree my pain or feelings fog it up. I'm trying to stay the course.

I can tell you the control thing is a family issue for sure. My whole family was together this evening for dinner and we outwardly joked about my mother who just turned the lights off. She always harps on us to turn the lights on and controls the thermostat and many other things. I know those sound petty but all of us know my mother is always asking questions to the nth degree or tries to control things and us siblings know that we all got some of the control from her. My own BILs know it and we outwardly joke about it. I'm not blaming my mother I'm just telling you this so you know where the habits may of come from.

Anyway, I'm doing fine as I'm learning to detach even when I slip up. I'm not hurt nearly as bad as months ago. It gets me for a moment but then I post here partially to clear my emotions and to get good feedback from everyone. Thanks for the support and guidance smile.
_________________________
Me:29
W:28
S:2
M: 5 years
Bomb: 7-26-11
Separated: 8-20-11
EA w/ multiple OMs
W filed 1/2012

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#2217093 - 01/30/12 04:47 AM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: Snowman]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
I feel for ya Snow - hang in there!
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2217215 - 01/30/12 06:24 PM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: Snowman]
25yearsmlc Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 10753
Loc: west coast
I have a dry sense of humor and use sarcasm to make points.


I hope you realize I was doing that when I said "it could be worse"...(she could also have taken a knife to your manliness. That'd be worse).

So that was my point.

Snowman, you need to rent some comedies to watch or see a live comedian. If you are in the LA area, come see me - but you have to promise to laugh even if you hate it, that's the vow I require...

my h has heard my jokes 100 times and laughs HARD and on cue.

that's my love language I guess.

I'll post more later but wanted you to know I was kidding. (went over like a lead balloon though..yikes, am I losing my touch?)
_________________________
m:51 H:55
M: 30 yrs
S25,D23,D15
H goes ALASKAN, solo,2005
I file Sep 2/06
Piecing 7/07
Retrovaille Weekend 8/08
M Restored 8/08

Be Happy OR be "Right"

FORGIVENESS: Your way out of hell

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#2217346 - 01/31/12 02:00 AM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: 25yearsmlc]
Snowman Offline
Member

Registered: 09/12/11
Posts: 148
25yearsmlc-Sorry I misread the humor, I usually am cracking jokes all the time as well but this place seems so serious all the time. Trust me this situation is not who I am. I love to crack jokes, smile, laugh, and be happy. You could ask my true friends and family that really know me. I do love me a good comedy and light-hearted fun. This is the true me. It would be a 12 hour drive to LA so I don't think I will be making it anytime soon although we will be doing Disneyland this summer.

My love language is words as well with physical touch a close second. I just want to hug my W or something when I see her but resist with all my might.

By all means use humor with me as that is definitely a connection point for me.

Thanks Grmpy_Mnky for the support.
_________________________
Me:29
W:28
S:2
M: 5 years
Bomb: 7-26-11
Separated: 8-20-11
EA w/ multiple OMs
W filed 1/2012

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#2218023 - 02/02/12 03:25 AM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: Snowman]
Snowman Offline
Member

Registered: 09/12/11
Posts: 148
Well my W just picked up my S. I have had him since last Friday evening. My W had a midterm after work so I got him until she was done. She came over and I asked how the test went. She said pretty good. She asked about a FSA card that is not around anymore. I told her about our S's potty training progress while we got our S' shoes on. She said she didn't feel very good and I asked why. She said she had a headache. She has always had headache problems and pretty much gets them everyday, not sure what the deal is with that. They then got in m W's car and I gave my S a hug and kiss goodbye. I won't see him until next Monday, suckey.

I have not heard from my L about updated papers and I'm not in a hurry to do so. My W wants one of our nice LCD TV's which is fine and expected. I told her earlier in the week we would get it to her. I booked a Disneyland trip with my family last night. My S was excited about that and keep saying Disneyland.

I thought today how it was ironic that I was catering to my W's school schedule and how we will always have to deal with planning things for the rest of our lives which makes divorce so silly. I talked to a guy at work about it(I know I'm not suppose to) and he mentioned the same thing when he was having difficulties in his marriage and is why he decided to suck it up and work on his marriage.

I'm sitting here trying to think of all the things my W said way back when the bomb was dropped and my mind just spins but here is what I can piece together:
-Don't like her friends or hang out with them
-Don't appreciate her cooking
-I won't get it and I never will. She claims her counselor said that as well
-Always in the basement
-I think she said something about she is tired of just being a mom when she gets home.
-Something about my family being more important than hers or her not feeling included with my sisters. Don't recall exactly.

There is more but I really can't recall it all. I could type responses to each but I will let others analyze these things and ask me questions first.

I'm learning to find calmness in my life. I have done good at not talking as much about my stitch with those who know about it. I'm working on being the best dad I can be with my son. I have been very cordial with my W and not really fought with her on the D stuff. I'm working to have fun with friends and family. I need to exercise more and probably get out more when I don't have my S but I have improved on that. I trying and learning to find positive in my life. I pray with my S before bed who repeats the words I say so enjoy doing it with him so he can learn. I'm just rambling I guess but this is what I have to say right now.
_________________________
Me:29
W:28
S:2
M: 5 years
Bomb: 7-26-11
Separated: 8-20-11
EA w/ multiple OMs
W filed 1/2012

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#2218675 - 02/04/12 01:21 AM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: Snowman]
Snowman Offline
Member

Registered: 09/12/11
Posts: 148
Update-I have not heard from my L about getting revised papers from her L. Not sure what is going on there and I'm in no hurry to ask. My W texted me asking if I could bring her the TV tomorrow. It seems really weird to me that my W that is divorcing me is asking me to deliver the TV and stand to her. I will probably do it because I don't want to deal with her unknown friends coming over to get it and I don't think anyone on both sides of the family is comfortable doing it.

What do you think, should I deliver the TV to her or is this just helping my W move farther away from me? Confused.
_________________________
Me:29
W:28
S:2
M: 5 years
Bomb: 7-26-11
Separated: 8-20-11
EA w/ multiple OMs
W filed 1/2012

Top
#2218782 - 02/04/12 03:43 PM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: Snowman]
Snowman Offline
Member

Registered: 09/12/11
Posts: 148
Where have all my faithful posters gone? I need your advice and help.
_________________________
Me:29
W:28
S:2
M: 5 years
Bomb: 7-26-11
Separated: 8-20-11
EA w/ multiple OMs
W filed 1/2012

Top
#2218789 - 02/04/12 04:29 PM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: Snowman]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
That's confusing.I would want to be her friend and help her out, Having said that, perhaps you can tell her yes but it will have to be on your schedule becuase you are busy with friends.

I know it's tough - hang in there!
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2218791 - 02/04/12 04:34 PM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: Snowman]
Mach1 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 3744
Originally Posted By: Snowman

What do you think, should I deliver the TV to her or is this just helping my W move farther away from me? Confused.




What would be your motivation for helping ?

What would be your motivation for NOT helping ?

Is it HER TV ?


I'm not sure I understand the confusion here.

If it is her TV, you not helping her to get it , would come across as you trying to punish her.

If it isn't hers, then...



I'm not saying to deliver it either. If it is hers, and you don't feel as if you can be positive during this, then by all means, don't be a part of that.

If it is a chance for you to SHOW her that you are different....then why not ????

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#2218796 - 02/04/12 05:40 PM Re: W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2 [Re: Mach1]
Snowman Offline
Member

Registered: 09/12/11
Posts: 148
I guess it is her TV since we have 2 and she doesn't have one now. She is on her way over to help me lift it. My S will have to watch as my W moves out more stuff which I'm not happy about but part of the deal I guess. I will be positive during this. I think if I didn't help her she would think I was punishing her so I will do it. I guess this is a chance to show that I'm different. I already did that last time when she came over to get other stuff so might as well keep doing it.
_________________________
Me:29
W:28
S:2
M: 5 years
Bomb: 7-26-11
Separated: 8-20-11
EA w/ multiple OMs
W filed 1/2012

Top
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