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Need a little advice...H emailed me today and asked for my stuffing recipe. Asked if it was a recipe or was it in my head. I haven't answered him yet.

That recipe is my own creation and I came up with it taking all of my H's likes into consideration. It really was tailored made for him. How soon he forgot that after 27 years of being up early with me while I made Thanksgiving preps.

Maybe this is very petty of me, but there is no way I'm even trying to write it down and give it to him so either ow can make it for him or he can make it to share with her and her family.

I want to come up with a truth dart when I tell him 'it's in my head' and I'm not about to give it to him. Let ow come up with something for him. Too bad she doesn't cook.

This just seems to me that he has a lot of nerve even asking for it. Remember he's been gone 3 years and even though I'm still standing I have no problem with putting up and enforcing boundaries. I still love him but am no longer in love with him. I just want to say something that will get my point across that he's the one that made the choice to leave and those creature comforts are no longer available to him without seeming vindictive. I truly don't feel that way, but for me, this has crossed the line.

Thanks.

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Seeking,
Be honest w/him and tell him that you don't have it written down and it's down by rote. Suggest that he do a google search for a nice recipe. Southern Living has some great recipes out there and as well as Paula Deen.

My xh after still continues to ask for things from my home and my answer is always the same....Sears, Target, Walmart, Lowes and Home Depot carrying the items and if you purchase them now, you will have a warranty/guarantee.

You don't have to say anything other than the recipe is not written down.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2295628 11/02/12 08:13 PM
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I say give him a recipe with arsenic in it! Happy Thanksgiving!


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
LoisB #2295719 11/03/12 12:46 AM
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Seeking, I agree with Snodderly.

Or, you could also just not reply at all. I mean, did he even say Happy Thanksgiving? Or, say you don't remember, it's been so long. Hehehe!


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BeingMe #2295781 11/03/12 07:50 AM
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Tell him to come to your Thanksgiving and you will make it for him.

Or its a little bit of this and a little bit of that,

and a half pound of salt peter! smile smile smile


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job #2295782 11/03/12 07:54 AM
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Originally Posted By: snodderly
My xh after still continues to ask for things from my home

My former MLC(or maybe still) 80 year old, bipolar mother just asked me for a raincoat that she left at our house 25 years ago.
And I dont even live at either house anymore.


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Cadet #2295790 11/03/12 11:02 AM
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That blows my mind Cadet!! A raincoat after 25 years?? How bazarre!
I'd just say its not written down and it's your own personal family recipe. Tho thats not good DBing


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Cadet #2295791 11/03/12 11:19 AM
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Thank you Snodderly, Lois (lol), Being Me, and Cadet (lol).

This was the email I received from H -

"Do you have a recipe for your stuffing or do you do it out of your head?"

My reply -

"I just make that out of my head."

His question was short and to the point and taking Snodderly's advice, I answered in the same way. There was so much more I wanted to say...

Cadet, Along with not liking to cook, there are other things ow doesn't like to do...Salt Peter would not be necessary. It did cross my mind to invite him to Thanksgiving dinner.

I know we're not supposed to assume, but I can only surmise there must be some things H is missing that came from being part of our family.

The holidays were a big deal to him and I did my part in trying to make them special as well. I still do to the extent that I'm able.

Kind of funny that H wants to recreate that. I guess the MLCer does think of their former lives every now and then.

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seeking,
They think of their former lives more than we think they do, especially around the holidays. For example, my xh thought I still did the "Black Friday" sales in the stores. I told him two years ago that I haven't done that in years...it's now the internet age and that's where I shop.

Even though they don't always say it, they do remember.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2301906 11/22/12 02:44 PM
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To my DB friends, I wish you all a very Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving.

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