Just checking in and wanted to see how you are doing. How are things going with the kids? Have you made any progress on that front? I suspect the summer break is going to present you with a whole new set of challenges. How are you doing in terms of growing your faith?
I hope all is well!
Take care!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
I'm really doing my best under difficult circumstances. I've been reading some Zen philosophy to try and get a more healthy perspective on things. My son is in crisis...he's been diagnosed by 2 different psych. MD's now with ODD, in addition to depressive disorder, anxiety, and poly-substance abuse...marijuana, Lortab, Roxicet, Xanax, PCP, inhalants, cocaine, triple C, and alcohol. He's been arrested twice and now has 5 charges pending against him. I took him to a children's recovery center after I got him out of the juvenile intervention center, and he was in CRC for 7 days. He got out them had to go back that same day because of continued problems. After 2 more days he was transferred to an acute care facility 100 miles away and he was there for 8 days, then released because insurance wouldn't approve more. His mother has fought me every step of the way. She has used these events to turn my kids against me and endear them to her. I have been on the receiving end of the most awful verbal abuse from both kids. And their mom has just displayed pure hatred toward me throughout. Her hatred toward me outweighs any love she has for our kids. Her hatred toward me is detrimental to our kids. I've seen it firsthand for a long time now, but especially recently. My daughter is mostly living with a friend. It's still up in the air what the kids are going to do when their mom moves back to Texas. Son vacillates between wanting to go with her or stay with me...daughter doesn't say much at all about it. I'm trying to get my son the help he needs but it's been one hell of a difficult situation. I still pray and ask for God's guidance throughout. Why am I sad that she's leaving?
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Maybe because she won't be so available to fight you. I think she is only interested in hurting you and not at all in saving your kids lives. Yes, it is that serious.
Kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I don't believe that that's why I'm sad she's leaving..."so she won't be so available to fight" me. I don't want to fight with her at all. I suppose it's a natural progression of physical separation from someone I was so invested in. I definately agree with you in that "she is only interested in hurting you and not at all in saving your kids lives".
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
What your wife does or doesn't do or if she hates you or doesn't hate you or if the kids act like they hate you or they don't is ALL IRRELEVENT!!! The ONLY thing that matters and has mattered for months on end is getting your kids the help they need and especially your son. DO NOT stop until you have him in a longterm facility. It would not have gone this far if you had done this 7 months ago when we implored you to get help. You were so stuck on how wife was acting and going on about forgiveness. It was like planting a few saplings when there was a forest fire raging right in front of you.
Your son will die if you don't intervene and be persistent about getting him into longterm care.And fighting your ex about it is nothing. You should be willing to fight off an army for your kids. And your daughter needs some control as well.
Gineen's advice was spot on. You are the parent, not the friend. I'm glad you're finally doing something. Don't let it be too little too late.
if you make your son a temp ward of the state they can legally commit him to a facility for longer term care...then a judge decides when he can leave, not insurance
he needs to be in a long term facility
your daughter doesn't get to decide where she stays
you do
if she thinks she does, the police can certainly set her straight
I'm doing OK. Kids have each struggled in their own way since their mother moved 500 miles away to a different state to live with her boyfriend on June 24th. Daughter is still living with the friend she has been living with for many months. That woman is a single mother to two girls of her own and she doesn't make much money. They are struggling financially because my daughters' mother doesn't send them any financial help at all. I am still sending her child support checks regularly except that now they are sent to her boyfriends' house in Texas where she lives. My son is with me. He has been doing better recently. We go to Court tomorrow to face the 5 charges that he has pending against him.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Your ex should not be receiving any CS if her children are not living with her. You should have gone back to your lawyer as soon as this happened - don't waste any more time. Get that changed immediately.
Where she lives is and who she lives with is not up to you. Don't keep blaming her for all that has happened with the kids. You need to accept responsibility for them too.
Glad you are standing by your son and he is living with you. Good luck tomorrow.
