I looked at it like this...I messed up, plain and simple. I wanted to make things better after I knew better. If that meant me being in limbo...I was prepared to do that. If I made a mistake regarding that...it was going to be because I held on too long, and not because I let go too soon. I'd do it again too. But everyone has to do what's right for them. I do wish you well though.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Hey, did you ever look into the "total transformation system" I mentioned awhile back? If not, look it up. I think it might be helpful for you and the troubles you are having with the kids.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
I did look at it at that time, but things are still so up in the air regarding the kids presently...I think my son is going to stay here...but I don't know what my daughter is going to do. She's been mostly living with a friend of hers recently... Her mom is fixing up the house (new paint and carpet) and getting it ready to sell. She's resolved and firm in what she's doing. My son has been with me since April 22nd.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
You need to get yor kids help now. We don't care what your wife is going to do. We want to know what YOU are going to do to help your kids. You are the only person that can help them and you have puttered away way too much time. Action antlers is the only thing that is going to get things done.
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I have to 'get' my kids first before I can get them help. If I take firm, definitive, and 'controlling' action right now...my kids are going to go to Texas and be 500 miles away from me. Then I will have NO ability to influence their lives at all, or be a model to them of redemption, forgiveness, and perserverance...and unconditional love. They are both old enough that they CAN go where they want (as far as with their mom or with me)...and the Courts WILL let them make that decision themselves. Keep in mind that I was CONTROLLING in addition to being angry, resentful, and emotionally abusive to those that I cared about the most in the past. I don't expect any of you to understand and/or agree...but I assure you that I DO love my kids more than any of my critics here. And I certainly wouldn't profess to know more about their situations (my critics) than they themselves do.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
