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#2224904 - 02/25/12 04:35 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: labug]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
I don't really know. When I think about it I get annoyed, and this is when I am by myself or nothing to do. If I am active then it doesn't bother me. The big thing that bothers me was her not being in work on Wednesday and my neighbor telling me he saw her with her mother in the morning and then back around noon. Like they went for a meeting. My mind/gut goes right to her going to her attorney and her mom being there for support. Now we set up the payment arrangements and I have still not gotten any paperwork regarding this.

Yesterday was a difficult. My kids were with me at work because my son had a fever. I drove them back home last night. Told my wife all this and even suggested she pick up tylenol for him. They went to the circus today. I wanted him rested and better for it. When I dropped them off last night she just got home and was trying to figure out dinner for them and had no tylenol. I ended up going to my car to get my bottle and leaving it there. I also told her to order and I would go pick up dinner for them. Kids decided to eat pasta and soup. She was not sure what she wanted so I gave hugs and kisses to my kids, who then asked me if I was going to the circus as well. Told them it was a special trip with mommy and ended up leaving.
For the circus today they were going down with another woman and her daughter who is my sons age. This woman is also divorced and the H is being an ass. So they were taking one car and needed to get three seats in the back. So I offered my sons seat out of my car for my daughter. I took the spare key put the seat in the trunk and locked the key in the car for her. I text her told her it was done and made one more offer for dinner. She said "It's ok, thanks for asking. U have your own stuff to do."
In all honesty I was going to go eat sushi and go buy a phone. Sushi sucked and they were out of the phone I wanted to buy. I ended my night buy going back to my moms.
As soon as I set foot in the basement I started getting upset. I missed my kids and yea I wanted to experience the circus with them. The whole thing about firsts. Also I miss my kids and the value of the relationship of a family as a whole.
I am still not ready to give up!
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

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#2225348 - 02/27/12 02:29 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Had a very vivid dream this morning. I was getting ready for bed talking with a friend in a bedroom i did not really recognize but seemed like it was mine. Then my wife came in and woke me up. I went to go get something ran into a high school ex girlfriend that gave me her number to catch up. When i got back to my bed room i was empting a bag and putting the contents away, when i turned my wife was sittng talking with me but i noticed she had her engagement ring on again and said she wanted to work things out slowly. Then i woke up.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

Top
#2225510 - 02/27/12 11:13 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Today I got another proverbial kick to the groin. I got a call regarding our taxes. It seems that my w and I will be donating to the IRS this year. When I went on payroll my wife and I never thought about reducing her deductions on her paycheck. So because of this we now owe money to the IRS. We were planning on using our refund to cover the roof repair assessment we were given for our building. Now we have to come up with that as well. Oh happy days.
The only good thing is that a friend used me to refi his house and I am getting a check from that which I was going to use to pay bills down. Guess that money is going to IRS or the roof repair since we both agreed to pay half of it.
I now have to inform my W about this. Do I do it before she goes away on a long weekend or wait till she gets back. Either way somehow I feel like she is going to look at me like the bad guy in this.
This week I was going to email her and see if she wanted to go to one of the two shows I have tickets for in April. Wonder how that will go.
Oh we also have to figure out daycamp for the kids and pay that plus we have to do a deposit for daycare next year for my daughter.

Where can I give up my adult card and become a kid again.
Every time things start to go my way something happens. I am trying to figure out who out there or what higher power is using me as a play toy.

Just don't understand why bad things happen to good people.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

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#2225513 - 02/27/12 11:19 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 8918
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Bad analogy, what with the roof repairs needed but...when it rains, it pours.
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M36 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2225615 - 02/28/12 05:11 AM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: ]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
A month after we bought our condo the toilet tank cracked and flooded our unit and the 2 below us. We were out of there and back at my mothers for another 31/2 months. Only good thing that came out of it was we decided what floors to put in and we redid the bathroom. I felt back then and still feel now like I was living in Tom Hanks Money pit. All the place is.
I am still sticking to my guns and will be looking for a house in the next few months. Hopefully by then things will be a lot brighter and sunnier.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

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#2226689 - 03/02/12 02:46 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
verycrazy Offline
Member

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 1567
Loc: somewhere out there...
Hi, witz, don't worry, things will look up again. Just know, you aren't the bad guy. Your W didn't change her deductions, so not your fault. Can you see if the IRS will put you on installment payments, and still be able to get the roof done?

I think you will feel more positive about yourself when you are able to move into a house. More in control of your environment.

vc

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#2229940 - 03/12/12 09:27 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: verycrazy]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
VC

Thank you for the positive outlook. I will have to take more control over this and set something up when we are ready. I am looking forward to house hunting and when I can start that. Kind of feels like a rebirth in ways.

Been very busy at work and personally so I have not been on here much. When I get home I just want to sit and veg out. Especially last week. My W went to LA to visit a friend for her bday. This is the girl we are both friendly with and has stopped talking with me. Don't know. My hope was the girl would talk some sense into my W. Then I thought about it. This same girl who is a psychologist as well has had an affair with an engaged man, as well as sexting. So hello pot guess whose coming to visit kettle.
While she was gone I obviously had my kids from Wed 2/29 to Monday 3/6. We had a lot of fun. My daughters sitter had to cancel cause her own little girl had the flu. I was worried my girl would get it. Nope not till Sunday night bed time. Got her off my bed and into the doorway of my bathroom for her to splatter paint my floor. First time she ever threw up. I felt so bad. I asked my son to go up and get me a paper towels, he does what every 6 year old would do came down with 1. Sent him back up and told him what happened. My mom gave him stuff to help clean up. He went to bed, changed my girl she sat with me and we tried to watch Ralphie Mae. She drank her water and I took her to bed about 11pm. She fell asleep on her sleeping bag for me to hear her just as I went to bed at 12am throwing up all over her sleeping bag. Cleaned her up grabbed everything and it was second bath time. She slept next to me that night. I was up every time I heard her move. Posted to my facebook account about her getting sick and me putting on the super daddy cape to clean her up and take care of her. This way my wife new ahead of time so did my brother for work the next day, which I called out.
I ended up keeping my kids with me till Wednesday and my wife picked them up. I figured why drop off a sick kid, with the possibility of my son getting sick as well. Also wanted to make sure she didn't get sick in my car.
Had them again Thursday dropped off at school and sitters on Friday then my time.
Friday went to visit friends of mine I have not seen since before holidays. They sadly informed me they were pregnant and lost the baby the previous weekend. So my timing was a well deserved distraction. Saturday did my usual gym and went to a friend bday party. Met a girl there that I had a dream about that night. Nothing bad we were sitting and talking on a date. My mind telling me to move on? Or see what is out there for now? Who knows.
Sad thing is I hate being a single parent, I also hate the fact that I looked forward to sleeping in and coming home late from a night out. I am not happy that I enjoy the private time without my kids. But it makes it so much more special when I do see them.

Enough carpel tunnel for now.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

Top
#2229945 - 03/12/12 09:37 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Forgot this. I was talking with my W last Friday. She had it marked down that the sitter needed to be paid. Told her I already took care of it that morning and she asked me about some other things I had already taken care of or she forgot that I told her I took care of it. She had plans for a playdate for my son, which is my weekend and I already spoke with the family and told them about the change. I know she has a lot on her mind right now. She feels overwhelmed. But I just sat back and felt good about myself cause I had already taken care of things that we spoke about. Felt like I used to when we moved to LA. I took care of a lot. I don't know what happened to that person but I am back.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

Top
#2230187 - 03/13/12 04:17 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Feeling nervous today. I have to meet my wife at my sons school for parent teacher meetings. We have not seen each other since before she left for LA. Funny how the one person I am supposed to be comfortable around makes me nervous now.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

Top
#2230281 - 03/13/12 09:00 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Just got back to work with my kids. Saw my wife everything went fine my son is doing real well in kindergarten and his teacher even said he is very well adjusted with what is going on. Which is really good. His teacher read a short story of what he likes to do in the snow and one of the lines was my family goes sledding in the snow and there was a drawing next to it of 4 people. I held it together but they went sledding without me this year, when we had snow. Got me upset seeing that. I kept looking at my wife and seeing how pretty she looked and I miss this so much. I wonder if she realizes what this does to me. I don't know. I kept up good spirits in front of her, even showed up in a button down shirt, I will admit I looked good. Even though it is a shirt I would wear to work or out on a weekend.
My son got in the car and turned to me and told me he loved me. Which almost got me to break down. I am such a puss.
I will get over this but just wish she would want to try to work this out.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

Top
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