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#2212940 - 01/15/12 05:01 PM Creative Approach #1 CHANGE ANYTHING
sgctxok Offline
Member

Registered: 02/06/01
Posts: 10731
CHANGE THE WHERE

Quote:
When you and your partner have a conflict, does it tend to occur in the same location time and time again?

Is it almost always in the bedroom, the kitchen or the living room? The next time that you feel an argument coming on, promise yourself that you will move to a new location.


Of all of the items in DB/DR/KLA, this would have been the first I would have ignored, glossed over. It has turned out to be a factor for me and the Coach.

Location, specifically the kitchen or entry hall of the house that, if we talked about our touch subjects in one of those two places, we ended up having a huge blowout. The entryway is still not the best place.

A great place, the car. The kitchen has changed now, it's a good place now. What seems to matter is our angles in relation to each other. I KNOW he is really listening with no agenda when he is sort of on my side and his chin is in his hand, he's leaning in.


Does location make a difference for you and your partner?
_________________________
sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001

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#2212943 - 01/15/12 05:05 PM Re: Creative Approach #1 CHANGE ANYTHING [Re: sgctxok]
sgctxok Offline
Member

Registered: 02/06/01
Posts: 10731
CHANGE THE WHEN

Quote:
Do you and your partner always seem to fight when you b oth arrive home from work? Do you tend to argue during dinner? Or are your conflicts reserved for the first thing Saturday mornign?

The next time you are tempted to argue at the same old time, promise yourself that you will vary your timing.

Ask yourself the following questions,

"When do our conflicts usually occur??


"When would be the worst time to approach my partner?"


"When am I most likely to get a better response from my partner?"

_________________________
sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001

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#2212944 - 01/15/12 05:09 PM Re: Creative Approach #1 CHANGE ANYTHING [Re: sgctxok]
sgctxok Offline
Member

Registered: 02/06/01
Posts: 10731
CHANGE THE WHO


Quote:
Are you always responsible for handling certain matters in your relationship? For example, ar eyou always in charge of monitoring your children's study habits? Is yoru partner always in charge when it's time to make social arrangements? Sometimes, if you find yourselves divided about an issue, it's a good idea to examine who is in charge--and then make a change. Think of this strategy as a grand experiment and use your creativity.

As yoruself the following questions:

"What have been the most repetitive arguments in our relationship?"


"How might we change who is responsible for dealing with these issues?"






Again, one of our road blocks was changed with changing responsibilities. I find myself incredibly grateful for the change, and more in love with my partner for the roles he has taken. I find myself more interested in making him happy because he has made me so happy.
_________________________
sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001

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