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#2223796 - 02/20/12 11:51 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Heard from my wife just once today and that was a forwarded email from groupon for bounce u. I emailed her to see how her weekend was. Heard nothing at all. Usually she talks to me either through email or instant messenger. After I left on Saturday she texted me a few times I was picking some things up for kids. She had a therapy appointment and I am assuming my son asked her where she was going. He had asked me about my therapy the previous tuesday night. He wanted to know why I was packing my gym bag. I told him I was going to therapy to fix daddy and hopefully help fix us then I was going to the gym.

She text me and said "On a side note can I please monitor what I say to my son about us, he was commenting about me and therapy and trying to "make it better", She doesn't think he needs to know all that."

Ok me man me make fire with rock. Did I do something wrong. He asked a question about why I was going. Is this still her guilt kicking in?
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

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#2223797 - 02/20/12 11:56 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Forgot to post this one. I am not sure if my brother means to make these comments or not but I told him tonight to stop with them. Last Monday he was asking if I was bringing my kids to my moms on Tuesday for dinner. Then said oh I forgot. Meaning he forgot I lived there. Wednesday he was talking about someone we work with that has a condo in Las vegas and is losing money on it by selling it. Then looked at me and said oops forgot you had a condo.
Tonight he asked if I wanted to go to a restaurant for dinner. I said thats fine but ask mom cause she picked up something for dinner. She told him to ask me. He laughed and said we were like an old married couple.
My response was knock it the hell off with those comments already I don't appreciate them. He said he was joking. I told him I don't need those jokes. If he really wants I can go after him to the point he and I will not speak anymore.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

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#2223958 - 02/21/12 03:13 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 9876
I would suggest DBing your brother. What can you do differently that will have him stop? I would suggest you talk to him firmly and confidently. No emotions. Look him square in the eye and don't back down. Also don't take on the tone of the "little brother". (You better quit it, or else, etc.) Talk to him like a man.

If you don't want to deal with this, then find another job.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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#2223967 - 02/21/12 03:57 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: MrBond]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
LOL DB my brother. I like that one. I am not taking his crap anymore and he knows it. The way my temper is or at least was since I stopped holding it in. I was the proverbial volcano. My brother was my best man for my wedding. He and a bunch of friends flew to Vegas for my bachelor party and I drove out from LA to meet them. The first night a friend of mine was working in Vegas and got to the hotel late and was meeting us at the restaurant we were going to. In the limo my friend called me and told me they canceled his room. I told my brother this and he said he is lying and no they didn't. In front of everyone I released on my brother with a bunch of sarcastic remarks that made him a little person. From that day on he watches what he says usually.
Recently I don't let him get away with these comments. Like yesterday I told him that was 3 times in a week he has made a comment that I don't appreciate. Its a matter of time. Like I wrote before and told my wife, I stopped taking any [censored] from my family last May.

I will say this though I and my mom are the one thing that hold my sister and brother together. This was one of the things my father told me every time he was going for a surgery when he was sick. He told me to keep them together I was the glue. So that always sits in the back of my head.
Guess I will note this down and talk with my therapist about it next week.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

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#2224027 - 02/21/12 07:02 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
gabbysmom23 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/31/08
Posts: 5147
Loc: NJ
Witz, I'm going to have to say, you shouldn't have said that to your 6 year old son. You told him you were going to fix yourself and then hopefully " us" as in the family?!? Eeek. The boy is 6. Now he's going to hope daddy can make or break the family. And if it doesn't happen it's going to be because " daddy couldn't fix it". Do you really want that?

It's hard, but I have to been watching and sensoring everything around my daughter since the beginning of time. It took a while to learn how not to project my feelings into her little world about all of this, but I have learned it is of utmost importance.

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#2224271 - 02/22/12 04:27 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: gabbysmom23]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Yea I realized it after I told him that. When he asks usually both my W and I are good with it. We tell him we are not sure what is going to happen but no matter what we both love him and my daughter very much. He also knows we could be two families.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

Top
#2224717 - 02/24/12 04:43 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Kind of ironic I think my wife went dark on me. This week.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

Top
#2224798 - 02/24/12 10:36 PM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 7830
Loc: Sonoran Desert
How does it feel? Calmer?
_________________________
Me 56/H 57
M 35 S 24 S 21
Bomb 3/11 He moved out 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 He's home now

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate but, it is fear. Gandhi


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#2224904 - 02/25/12 11:35 AM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: labug]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
I don't really know. When I think about it I get annoyed, and this is when I am by myself or nothing to do. If I am active then it doesn't bother me. The big thing that bothers me was her not being in work on Wednesday and my neighbor telling me he saw her with her mother in the morning and then back around noon. Like they went for a meeting. My mind/gut goes right to her going to her attorney and her mom being there for support. Now we set up the payment arrangements and I have still not gotten any paperwork regarding this.

Yesterday was a difficult. My kids were with me at work because my son had a fever. I drove them back home last night. Told my wife all this and even suggested she pick up tylenol for him. They went to the circus today. I wanted him rested and better for it. When I dropped them off last night she just got home and was trying to figure out dinner for them and had no tylenol. I ended up going to my car to get my bottle and leaving it there. I also told her to order and I would go pick up dinner for them. Kids decided to eat pasta and soup. She was not sure what she wanted so I gave hugs and kisses to my kids, who then asked me if I was going to the circus as well. Told them it was a special trip with mommy and ended up leaving.
For the circus today they were going down with another woman and her daughter who is my sons age. This woman is also divorced and the H is being an ass. So they were taking one car and needed to get three seats in the back. So I offered my sons seat out of my car for my daughter. I took the spare key put the seat in the trunk and locked the key in the car for her. I text her told her it was done and made one more offer for dinner. She said "It's ok, thanks for asking. U have your own stuff to do."
In all honesty I was going to go eat sushi and go buy a phone. Sushi sucked and they were out of the phone I wanted to buy. I ended my night buy going back to my moms.
As soon as I set foot in the basement I started getting upset. I missed my kids and yea I wanted to experience the circus with them. The whole thing about firsts. Also I miss my kids and the value of the relationship of a family as a whole.
I am still not ready to give up!
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

Top
#2225348 - 02/27/12 09:29 AM Re: WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3 [Re: witz10]
witz10 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 234
Loc: PA
Had a very vivid dream this morning. I was getting ready for bed talking with a friend in a bedroom i did not really recognize but seemed like it was mine. Then my wife came in and woke me up. I went to go get something ran into a high school ex girlfriend that gave me her number to catch up. When i got back to my bed room i was empting a bag and putting the contents away, when i turned my wife was sittng talking with me but i noticed she had her engagement ring on again and said she wanted to work things out slowly. Then i woke up.
_________________________
M37 W34
S6
D3
M8yrs T14
S 1year
Told me she doesn't want to be married 10/2011
"I will never stop trying because when you find the ONE, you never give up." Steve Carrell Crazy, stupid, Love

Top
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