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#2217475 - 01/31/12 11:23 AM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
~ kd ~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/20/11
Posts: 4866
Loc: Canoe'k-land
It is disappointing when these types of workshops need to be described as non-cult, yet that is often a misconception.

EE and the one that I attend is no more a cult than that famous "motivational speaker" that pretty much everyone in the world has heard about. Or like saying that MC is cult like... grin

Anyhow, no big deal but did want to say that. Everyone gets to make up their mind and unfortunately, like your experience @bug... not all organizations are so benign...

Glad you had a great experience, AL! Do you end with any bold, personal declarations?

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#2217492 - 01/31/12 12:31 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: ~ kd ~]
Autumn Leaves Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 568
Loc: Pennsylvania
Thank you MF!!

I understand what you are saying KD. I feel guilty qualifying with that, but more than a few people in my group were nervous about just that, so it sadly does need the qualifier sometimes. But I agree, that is disappointing.

Yes we did actually end with a bold, personal declaration. I am very proud of mine and have it on my fridge, in my office, in my wallet...as a reminder. I am very proud of mine and it took a few revisions to get it to where it is. It is my commitment to myself smile

It's clear that you are very familiar with this type of experience, workshop. smile
_________________________
-Autumn


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#2217496 - 01/31/12 12:56 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
~ kd ~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/20/11
Posts: 4866
Loc: Canoe'k-land
lol... Yes... I am VERY familiar with this type of exp/workshops... grin 15 years experienced... lol!

Staffed an advanced last May and plan to immerse into a next one either April or October this year. Time to adjust my paradigm, again... cool

Be proud of yourself and proud of your declaration! You deserve it! You ARE worthy!

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#2218031 - 02/01/12 10:53 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: ~ kd ~]
25yearsmlc Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 9923
Loc: west coast
Autumn,

I will be out of contact/town for a bit but wanted to say that I think my h MAY have wondered if He was an issue before I went to EE. But he wasn't. I was 29 y/o and happy in the m but lacked clarity and became a new mom/lawyer the same month, was struggling with that, realizing my dad/alcoholic stuff, ETC

so there was all that baggage that kept affecting my choices or pushing buttons. I got rid of those buttons which was NICE...and after awhile

H chose to go himself. I sooo hope your h will.

it wasmuch faster than MC for us-when we finally went, b/c we'd make breakthroughs and then have to go back to work or get the kids...

and start all over the next week. Besides, there is so much more in our lives than our m's only. Yet that ends up getting all the focus but when we free ourselves to GAL for real

and when we see ourselves in the best light and become that version--dang powerful--HAPPY--

So the value of it lies in the changes your h sees in you and how you react to him. Keep up the new ways.

He may see it as selfish at first--my brothers did when I refused to get into debates BETWEEN my parents. (Almost choreographed arguments that they had for DECADES..."no thanks, been there, done that. Would like to live MY life now" etc)
AND
Not MY sandbox!

Geez, talk about detachment!
That confused my brothers and bugged them but it freed ME.

Autumn- in closing, here is my free bossy advice for you---which you are free to ignore-- cool


Make those follow up support meets, a priority.
And I'll call eric next week when I get back.

Okay brave one! ttys

((( )))
_________________________
m:51 H:55
M: 30 yrs
S25,D23,D15
H goes ALASKAN, solo,2005
I file Sep 2/06
Piecing 7/07
Retrovaille Weekend 8/08
M Restored 8/08

Be Happy OR be "Right"

FORGIVENESS: Your way out of hell

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#2218039 - 02/01/12 11:07 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: 25yearsmlc]
tested metal Offline
Member

Registered: 07/22/11
Posts: 330
Loc: ND
Curious, what does EE mean?
_________________________
M:35
W:33
M: 5 yrs.
Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10
D Final: 8/7/12

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#2218101 - 02/02/12 09:46 AM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: tested metal]
Autumn Leaves Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 568
Loc: Pennsylvania
Thank you 25, you are so right. There is so much more than just M. I was thankful to have a chance to focus on other things, old things, new things.

I do plan on attending all of the support meetings, I'm actually looking forward to them. We haven't been assigned yet, but hopefully next week.

Have a fantastic trip, and looking forward to talking with you soon.

TM, EE is a workshop in Philadelphia. The full name is Essential Experience, you can google it to see what its about. I recently went through it and 25 did it a few years ago. Fantastic program!
_________________________
-Autumn


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#2218103 - 02/02/12 09:49 AM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
purgatory Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 825
Loc: Virginia
25 encouraged me to go through the workshop... I'm saving up for the one in April!
_________________________
M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12

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#2218107 - 02/02/12 09:53 AM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: purgatory]
Autumn Leaves Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 568
Loc: Pennsylvania
This makes me so happy purgatory!! I am so excited for you!! I know that you will be so glad you did. It really is life changing for so many. In fact I have yet to meet anyone who didn't use similar words.
_________________________
-Autumn


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#2218144 - 02/02/12 11:19 AM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Autumn Leaves Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 568
Loc: Pennsylvania
Journal

The past few days have been somewhat quiet since the talk the other day re: MC. Last night H asked me to watch a movie and we were on the couch. S15 and S17 were in the kitchen with H as we were getting ready to start the movie.

S15 made a very inappropriate chauvinistic joke and as he said the punchline, I made a comment to him about how awful that was and was about to state that my feelings were hurt.

At this point H was sitting next to me and completely lost it on S15, who proceeded to shut him out. H called S15 a nasty name, and after apologized. It was out of line and inappropriate. H couldn't shake it, and got up to apologize again.

I know that I should leave it between them but I was really worried about S15. I went to the back of the house and told him that it was wrong and the reason was because it hurt my feelings so much. S15 apologized to me for hurting my feelings.

Later in the evening, after the movie, I got up to go to the kitchen. When I came back, H was fiddling with his phone and I asked (i know) what he was doing. He said he was wiping it off, there was something on it. I may have made a face, because he then shoved it under my face and said "look at it, go ahead look at it" I said that I didn't want to or need to.

He then said "you are right, we need MC and I shouldn't have put it off for this long"

He then proceeded to say "you are the one always on your phone"

I guess in recent times that may be true, when he wasn't talking to me or acknowledging my presence in the room, I was on my phone. Many times I was on this site, just trying to get a grip.

He was getting heated, so I ended the conversation and went to my bedroom. He stayed on the couch.

When I went to get a glass of water, he hugged me and said "i really do love you and I really want our M"

...where is the brake on this thing???

I am looking for a MC today, trying very hard to find one solution based that is also in my network. Most of them are out of network it seems.
_________________________
-Autumn


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#2218151 - 02/02/12 11:24 AM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2439
Loc: Piney Land
Autum call the ones in network and ask if the are solution oriented. if not ask if they are willing to. my2cs
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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