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I understand what you are saying KD. I feel guilty qualifying with that, but more than a few people in my group were nervous about just that, so it sadly does need the qualifier sometimes. But I agree, that is disappointing.
Yes we did actually end with a bold, personal declaration. I am very proud of mine and have it on my fridge, in my office, in my wallet...as a reminder. I am very proud of mine and it took a few revisions to get it to where it is. It is my commitment to myself
It's clear that you are very familiar with this type of experience, workshop.
I will be out of contact/town for a bit but wanted to say that I think my h MAY have wondered if He was an issue before I went to EE. But he wasn't. I was 29 y/o and happy in the m but lacked clarity and became a new mom/lawyer the same month, was struggling with that, realizing my dad/alcoholic stuff, ETC
so there was all that baggage that kept affecting my choices or pushing buttons. I got rid of those buttons which was NICE...and after awhile
H chose to go himself. I sooo hope your h will.
it wasmuch faster than MC for us-when we finally went, b/c we'd make breakthroughs and then have to go back to work or get the kids...
and start all over the next week. Besides, there is so much more in our lives than our m's only. Yet that ends up getting all the focus but when we free ourselves to GAL for real
and when we see ourselves in the best light and become that version--dang powerful--HAPPY--
So the value of it lies in the changes your h sees in you and how you react to him. Keep up the new ways.
He may see it as selfish at first--my brothers did when I refused to get into debates BETWEEN my parents. (Almost choreographed arguments that they had for DECADES..."no thanks, been there, done that. Would like to live MY life now" etc) AND Not MY sandbox!
Geez, talk about detachment! That confused my brothers and bugged them but it freed ME.
Autumn- in closing, here is my free bossy advice for you---which you are free to ignore--
Make those follow up support meets, a priority. And I'll call eric next week when I get back.
Okay brave one! ttys
m:51 H:55 M: 30 yrs S25,D23,D15 H goes ALASKAN, solo,2005 I file Sep 2/06 Piecing 7/07 Retrovaille Weekend 8/08 M Restored 8/08
This makes me so happy purgatory!! I am so excited for you!! I know that you will be so glad you did. It really is life changing for so many. In fact I have yet to meet anyone who didn't use similar words.
The past few days have been somewhat quiet since the talk the other day re: MC. Last night H asked me to watch a movie and we were on the couch. S15 and S17 were in the kitchen with H as we were getting ready to start the movie.
S15 made a very inappropriate chauvinistic joke and as he said the punchline, I made a comment to him about how awful that was and was about to state that my feelings were hurt.
At this point H was sitting next to me and completely lost it on S15, who proceeded to shut him out. H called S15 a nasty name, and after apologized. It was out of line and inappropriate. H couldn't shake it, and got up to apologize again.
I know that I should leave it between them but I was really worried about S15. I went to the back of the house and told him that it was wrong and the reason was because it hurt my feelings so much. S15 apologized to me for hurting my feelings.
Later in the evening, after the movie, I got up to go to the kitchen. When I came back, H was fiddling with his phone and I asked (i know) what he was doing. He said he was wiping it off, there was something on it. I may have made a face, because he then shoved it under my face and said "look at it, go ahead look at it" I said that I didn't want to or need to.
He then said "you are right, we need MC and I shouldn't have put it off for this long"
He then proceeded to say "you are the one always on your phone"
I guess in recent times that may be true, when he wasn't talking to me or acknowledging my presence in the room, I was on my phone. Many times I was on this site, just trying to get a grip.
He was getting heated, so I ended the conversation and went to my bedroom. He stayed on the couch.
When I went to get a glass of water, he hugged me and said "i really do love you and I really want our M"
...where is the brake on this thing???
I am looking for a MC today, trying very hard to find one solution based that is also in my network. Most of them are out of network it seems.