Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 10 1 2 3 4 5 9 10
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,060
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,060
Awesome! laugh Nice to come to that point in the life.


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,971
P
punkin Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,971
MEN! Just when I have come to the point of putting it all behind me; the home we shared has been sold at auction through his devices, not mine, and I feel I can move ahead, he files a motion to cut my alimony, of which I have not yet received a single payment! This based on the fact that he did not get enough in the auction of the house. He let a $230,000 asset go for $161,000, and that is MY FAULT?? My lawyer says not to sweat it, it is just par for the course, but WTH?

Luckily, I had an ammended divorce decree all ready to sign by the judge so that I could file with the Army to garnish his pay. Now just waiting to see. Army said it could take up to 90 days. My signed ammended decree reached the Army before his Motion even hit the Court house. It is not so much that I am worried the judge will consider it, just that, Why can't he just let it go and move on? This is what he wanted, isn't it? Of course, paying me wasn't in his orginal plan, but life is hell.

I'M TICKED OFF! WHEN WILL IT END???

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
Likes: 1
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
Likes: 1
it's the last lap, I promise...but OMG I feel for you. I can't wait til the Army's allotment is set up so it comes from THEM to you. He'll enjoy trying to Undo that...

Hang in there!


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,538
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,538
Punkin, I have been going through something very very similar and I so relate to what you have just written I am now over a year post divorce and 6+ years post bomb. When I say my divorce took a long time I am not kidding.

Well the Court gave 4 months to finalise our rather complex financial settlement. Which my xh managed to drag out for nearly a year.

He is now insisting I owe him money which I checked with my lawyer, and I do not. The delays in exchange of funds meant that the small imbalance in assets was paid off from the income from his having the funds for a further 8 months . . .

I paid over my share promptly and on schedule. i haven't received a cent from his fund, although I have it in writing from them that it is now all sorted, and have a date for payment. But he now wants more money, to which he imagines he is entitled.

I feel as if even post divorce with these guys it never ever ends. In his shoes, even if I thought there was a sum owing [and he has inherited $$$ from his mother] I would just let it go in recognition and respect for the long marriage, but no, these guys just have to go on thrashing around, and throwing their weight around. It feels like persecution at times.

I have just finalised a document, which I have written [with my lawyer's approval] to save cost, and try and keep in pleasant [Hah] and sent it over to him. But I think he is intent on going back to Court, and trying to revisit the financial settlement. Which if he had read it, he is explicitly prevented from doing.

Anyway as I have posted, he is now back to spewing at me. I received a really hostile email from him on New Year's Day, in response to my first attempt to settle [and I do have to respond or use a lawyer, at considerable expense] Oh yes, and at the end he wished me a Happy New Year, and good wishes.

If I read this in a book I wouldn't believe it. The version here is the non dramatic and edited one. The reality is crazier. My therapist friend says xh wants attention . . .
In general I am against corporal punishment but i feel like giving him a short sharp slap, of sheer exasperation and saying Wake Up. It is over.

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,588
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,588
Oh Punkin, it all seems to come down to money. Money is the reason my H has not pushed his divorce ahead. He is bound and determined that I not receive alimony. He feels it's his money, he earned it, and that's that. No consideration that the way our M worked out as far as money earning went was a joint and mutual decision and I held up my end of the bargain and supported him with his endeavors as well. I am protected at this time and will continue to make sure that I am no matter how much it inflames him. I have to be able to live, too.

At first, it cut me to the core to think that he thought so little of me and I had made him so miserable during our M that he felt I deserved nothing. I came to the understanding that this is his problem and that there are always consequences even when he got something he thought he wanted.

I wouldn't be surprised in your case that the ow is pushing for this as well. You've done well protecting yourself. It is what it is for your XH. He'll just have to deal with it.

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,971
P
punkin Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,971
Thanks guys. Yes, he has, as I once told him, made his own bed; now he can lay in it. I'm quite sure he is in a financial bind, or at least tight, and I'm equally sure his new wifey is pushing his buttons about it. None of which I can control, or have any interest in. Do have to wonder how he likes the wife that is good at spending money instead of the wife who managed it.

After the initial rage, I have really quite settled down and do not think the judge will give it a second thought, but worry it could cause a delay.

25 years, I'm holding you to the promise it's the last lap! My friend posted a msg. on FB that said we cannot embrace a new life experience when our hands are so full of the old. I'm ready to wash my hands of this part of life, at least as it is.

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,538
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,538
Punkin, they are a mess, and it shows. After the latest spew, I responded after a few days with a constructive solution, which he made a few amendments to, that actually I prefer, and got back to me with a "let's not wrangle on this, but be friends" message. At which point I nearly fell over. But maybe his lawyer had told him just how nice I was being in the circs, when actually I could have been much tougher. Who knows?

So I looked it over, waited a day just to consider it fully, and sent it back with a very brief message, thanking him for his hard work on this, and agreeing to it all. That was nearly 3 days ago and I have heard nothing more. We simply need to sort the admin arrangements for exchanging the funds. The date he proposed for finalising it all is this Friday.

We are agreed, it is all ready to roll, it is the final piece in the divorce falling into place [I have been divorced over a year now] I am waiting on a two line message to finalise it.

It may be the last lap, but I didn't expect him to lie down, like the hare and have a nap before the finishing line.

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,549
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,549
All this stuff is so heart-wrenching. They are so vicious with the settlement and the money. They appear to have 0 feelings for the LBS and we all know they have such a hardened heart.

I am now 4 years post divorce. Ex and I go back to court in April. He owes me a chunk of money due to his income going up and hiding some of his assets. He is no longer mad or spewing about the money thing. He is facing losing a chunk and has been pleasant and kind for the last 3 months.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,262
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,262
Hey punkin!

Just stopping by to say hello!!! I see your exH is still in LA LA land but you are doing well!!! It won't be long and your hands will be squeaky clean!!!!


M48 H53
M16 T18
S16 D13
SS30
H drops bomb PA/8-30-09
H leaves 12-30-09
D filed by H 2-10
H asks to come home 4-11
Piecing
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,971
P
punkin Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,971
Checking in with everyone. Keeping busy but finding I have time to be lazy. Spent all day today in bed reading. Kids are all well.

I have tried to keep a relationship albeit a distanced one with my steps, and it seems to be getting harder. I dropped off a BD present for stepGD's 7th birthday, and a BD card for her Mom, as well. My D25 happened to drop in at the local bowling alley and found they were having a BD party for GD, and none of our family had been invited. She said DIL seemed embarrassed. Even though XH was not there, either. I understand the difficulty, but the kids have always been cousins. Why wouldn't she have wanted the little ones there?

As for XH, he has apparently made his choices, new wifey over his own kids. It's hard to believe the egotistical slime bucket he has turned out to be.

Doing the judicial cha-cha over alimony. After 30 days, received a notification of some little crap Army didn't have, and now I have to start all over again. As for X, he is now $1000.00 in arrears. Boy, I could use that money.

Page 3 of 10 1 2 3 4 5 9 10

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard