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thanks for birthday wish. how are you doing?

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son gave me perfume from him and h . h said he would pay to have my car repaired too, $1300. i dont know if this is out of guilt, or being nice. i guess i doesnt matter, but i wonder.

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I would just take any niceness from H as just being nice. And, hey, not having to spend 1300 bucks is great!

What kind of perfume did you get?
I like 30% off, but I have been going to Kohl's to get their summer clearance to put up for next year at 60-80%off! I love the word clearance!

My S's birthday is on Tuesday. Some years it falls on Thanksgiving Day.

I'm glad your S is able to stay home and go to a great college. I am glad mine is, too. My S loves to take pictures, and he likes to make videos, too. He had a lot of his photos published in the school's literary magazine. He was in the Quill and Scroll honor society. I'm surprised he didn't pick that for college, but he wants to be a lawyer. Does your S put any films on youtube? It's a good place to get people's opinions on his work. Although sometimes there are idiots on there who make rude comments.

Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of your birthday, eat lots of cake and ice cream.

vc

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The perfume i got is called Light Blue. i told son i only wanted the small size because i dont wear perfume to often because of the chemicals. i usually only use all natural perfume. he got me the gift set which was thoughtful. yes, Kohls does have great end of season clearance.
I dont know if son got accepted yet, we sent in app. nov. 15. we are suppose to go to another one 2 hrs away tomorrow. i dont think he has any videos on youtube.
I bet my h was being super nice today because he is going to the concert tonight with ow. im sure he spent about 200 ea on the tickets, or got a sky box, with food, for a grand , thats how he is spending money and it scares me.

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I thought you and your H was scraping for money? How is it that you can afford a Lexus and he can afford a concert for a grand?

Whatever happened to you going to file? Something set you off but then now you're back to the victim mode.

What happened?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Hi, rys, I have never heard of Light Blue, but I'll give it a sniff next time I'm shopping. How did the latest visit to colleges go for you and S? How is school going for you? Don't you have one more class to go before you start radiology school? How long is radiology school?

You know, if your H makes really good money, he can afford to splurge. As long as he gives you money for you and S, let him be. It won't change him to have you get too emotional with him, and say something you might regret. Just let him be, and let this whole ow thing play out while you make improvements to yourself. If you still think you may want him back one day, make it to where the road home is paved smoothly. Try to learn to accept him for who he is, and that means accepting that he is a weak man, a sinner like us all. I don't think you've ever learned to calm yourself down inside. It's like your nerves are constantly jumping, thinking about H and ow. I understand it; it was hard to think of anything else for a long time.
I will pray for something to happen, for God to touch H's heart, so he will wake up to the bad things he has done, and that he will touch your heart, too, so that you will learn to forgive, and to just let your love of H show. And to help you get rid of all the resentful and hurt feelings your H has caused.

vc

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i really dont know my h financial situation now. he has been gone for so long, but he must be doing ok.i was feeling like i was going to file last week to protect son and i but when h starts being generous i get sucked back into the situation. i want to pull my own strings like the book said but i am afraid to let go of him. but i dont like being so controlled by him. i see now how dysfunctional our relationship was being so dependent on him in the past and now was not good.
i know its because im a nervous person and dont know if i could make it on my own. i dont want to make excuses anymore im not getting any younger and dont want to waste my life. i really try to fight back and am taking more risks socially. i had to drop the algebra class cuz i want doing good. it was hard and i found it difficult to concentrate with this stuff going on and sons college decision too. i withdrew from it but im still going to attend the class so i learn it for next semester.
i went and looked for a used car last night, i never buy new. i was always terrified of car dealers but it went well. the guy was really nice,, he told me he almost died in a car accident a few years ago, and him and his wife just had twins, thats a miraculous story. he was a very nice guy. there was no high pressure sales. im glad i overcame that fear. they couldt do a good enough deal for me though so i didnt get one. i want to get a newer model in case i do get d i need something that is going to last at least 6 yrs under warranty. the warranty on the 1 i have now ended and to repair it would cost a lot.
for thanksgiving it will just be son and I. thats ok though. i would like for son and i, to go to a soup kitchen and help out there.

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Originally Posted By: dolphin
i dont want to make excuses anymore im not getting any younger and dont want to waste my life.

I think this might be your best post ever.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
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Now go do it.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
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i text h and told him sons school payment is past due. he text back okay dokay, that drives me nuts, he sounds so happy probably planning holiday with ow. i was feeling really good this morning, and his text made me very sad. he is so happy go lucky it makes me sad.

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