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#2193283 - 10/17/11 04:22 PM GOAL SETTING
sgctxok Offline
Member

Registered: 02/06/01
Posts: 10731
GOAL SETTING: CRASH COURSE FOR REVITALIZING YOUR LOVE RELATIONSHIP


1. MAKE YOUR GOAL ACTION-ORIENTED

The more precise your goals are, the easier it will be for you to accomplish them. Many times, though, our goals are “half baked.” Often, they are too vague, or simply unclear. When your goals aren’t specific enough, it will be very difficult for you to accomplish what you want. And, it will be extremely difficult for your partner to try to please you. After all, who can hit a target that isn’t in clear view?

Your goal will be vague unless you describe exactly what you and your partner will be doing when your goal is achieved. Your goal can be transformed into a highly effective action goal when you become more clear and specific. But you must first describe what you will be doing when you reach your goal. For example:

Vague goal: I want my husband to communicate better.

Action goal:;
1. He’ll turn off the TVV when we talk
2. He’ll make eye contact with me when we talk
3. He’ll offer comments after I share something with him.
4. He’ll ask me questions about whatever I am discussing.
Go back to the relationship goals you set earlier. Write them down again here:

Goal 1:
Goal 2:
Goal 3:


Now get more specific, Make these goals action-oriented. Wha twill you and your partner be doing that will let you know you have reached each of your three relationship goals:

Goal 1. My partner and I will be:

Goal 2. My partner and I will be:

Goal 3. My partner and I will be:



Edited by sgctxok (10/17/11 04:23 PM)
_________________________
sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001

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#2193284 - 10/17/11 04:24 PM Re: GOAL SETTING [Re: sgctxok]
sgctxok Offline
Member

Registered: 02/06/01
Posts: 10731
2. STATE YOUR GOAL POSITIVELY:
When you set a goal, make sure you express it positively.. Make certain you are thinking about what you want to happen, instead of what you want to avoid. If you think about what you don’t like in your relationship or what your partner does wrong, it isn’t as effective as aiming at a positive outcome.

For example:

Negative goal: I want you to stop being so critical of me.
Positive goal: I really like it when you compliment me. I’d like you to do it more often.

Negative Goal: I wish you weren’t so sloppy.
Positive Goal: It really helps when you pick up your shirts.

Review your relationship goals. Are they stated positively? If not, use the space b elow to express your goals in positive terms.

Goal 1:

Goal 2:

Goal 3.
_________________________
sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001

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#2193285 - 10/17/11 04:24 PM Re: GOAL SETTING [Re: sgctxok]
sgctxok Offline
Member

Registered: 02/06/01
Posts: 10731
3. START SMALL
If you want to accomplish major goals, you must break them down into small, achievable steps. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for frustration or downright failure. Anthing worth accomplishing gets done one step at a time.
Take a look at your three relationship goals once again. Then break them down into small, achieveable steps. Ask yourself: What will e the v ery first sign that I am making progress toward my major goal?


Goal 1:
First sign

Goal 2
First sign

Goal 3
First sign



4. TAKE AN INVENTORY OF YOUR SKILLS AND STRENGTHS
5.
6. Sometimes when we have rough spots in our relationships, we feel as though we are powerless to make any changes at all. We get frustrated, discouraged or even hopeless that things can ever change.. We ten dto think that our partners hold all the keys to improvement.
Now that you have set some specific, action-oriented relationship goals, you might be wondering how you are going to accomplish them. At this point, it’s a good idea to take an inventory of your strengths and skills. For a moment, leave behind the world of your intimate relationship. Instead, think of yourself fin other areas of life like your career, your role as a parent as a friend or as a person involved in the community.

Answer the questions below. You’ll be amazed at the resources you bring to the challenge of improving your relationship.

1. Name a few activities, hobbies, tasks or jobs you enjoy doing , and feel you do well:

2. What skills and strengths do you have that help you to do well in those activities:

3. How might these skills and strengths come in handy as you try to improve your relationship?
_________________________
sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001

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