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#2168987 - 07/18/11 10:32 AM XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined....
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

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#2169002 - 07/18/11 11:36 AM Re: XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined.... [Re: XYZ]
Harrier Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/10
Posts: 781
Loc: Connecticut
Thankfully, that is the one thing I'm used to.

Down time.

My W goes to bed about 9-9:30 every night. I'm more of a midnight person. So I get 2-3 hrs of alone time every night

Most nights, I usually run out of time.

Why don't you take up baking? That can fill your day and your tummy.

I still think no matter what happens, you will always need "you" time. If nothing more than to recharge your batteries and if your W is like mine - she will understand.

It sounds like you are going through a little of what I went through. Just be patient until the MC...then hold on.
_________________________
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
--Jean Jacques Rousseau.

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#2169042 - 07/18/11 01:54 PM Re: XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined.... [Re: Harrier]
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
Got nice mid-day TM check in from W. Not a big deal except when you consider that in the "old" days this was an every day thing. Right up until the point that it wasn't, now it seems to be again. In the old days I never thought twice about it, now I cherish it.

I let W know that.
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

Top
#2169057 - 07/18/11 02:23 PM Re: XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined.... [Re: XYZ]
Harrier Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/10
Posts: 781
Loc: Connecticut
damn...I get those mid day checks too. Just got one.
_________________________
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
--Jean Jacques Rousseau.

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#2169183 - 07/18/11 08:59 PM Re: XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined.... [Re: Harrier]
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
I have a feeling that something big is about to happen. I could be totally off base and won't be disappointed if I'm wrong, but I got this feeling just before W asked me to not D and try counseling, so....

Couple of reasons:

(1) Nice TM exchange documented above, but after I told W how much I appreciated her checking in, she replied about how small things mean a lot coming from the right person. I totally agreed. Conversation just had a good vibe to it.

(2) I picked up the kids today as I always do on Mondays and took them home. As usual, I didn't plan to stay long. When I told kids to give me hugs and kisses, D6 said "I don't want you to go". W quickly said "I don't mind if you stay a while, if you have no plans". I replied, "I do, but this is a way better offer and those can wait". I stayed and played with the kids for a while. While playing D6 said (within ear shot of W) "Daddy, I want you to live here again". Wow. I kept it together and just said "Well, don't you have fun at my place". She said "yes, but I want you to come back here". I just said "I know, honey" and changed the subject. I'm about 90% sure that W overheard that -- and there's no way it didn't affect her. If it didn't then she really isn't human any more.

(3) I called kids at bedtime. Nice chat. Talked to W at the end. As we wrapped up, I said "I know you can't say it right now [editor note: kids where right there and she's not saying it in front of them for now], but I love you lady". We hung up and no more then 3 seconds went by before I got a TM saying "ILY2". She was off the hook, I gave her an out and she stepped up anyway.


Maybe those are just nice things, but my spiddy sense if tingling. Last time it tingled something happened. We'll see, but I wouldn't hate to be right on this!
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

Top
#2169249 - 07/19/11 12:04 AM Re: XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined.... [Re: XYZ]
Harrier Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/10
Posts: 781
Loc: Connecticut
They never showed the Spiderman where his spidey sense turned out to be jock itch.
_________________________
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
--Jean Jacques Rousseau.

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#2169347 - 07/19/11 01:11 PM Re: XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined.... [Re: Harrier]
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
Since W sent me the nice check in TM yesterday, I decided to return it.

Me: "Thinking of you....ily"

Her: "good or bad? smile ily2"

Me: "Duh. You're not THAT blond... ily"

I like that a bit of playfulness is sneaking back in. That's nothing but good stuff right there....
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

Top
#2169348 - 07/19/11 01:13 PM Re: XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined.... [Re: XYZ]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
"Bad in a good way."
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


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#2169688 - 07/20/11 01:18 PM Re: XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined.... [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
So, Jack, remember when you told us about your sitch and you said that when your W first came back, you thought she'd fail? And you almost wanted her to? I seem to find myself in that same mental space right now.

All in all, when I look at the last 4 weeks it's great progress but I see so many things that I keep convincing myself that this will fail. I don't want it to, maybe I'm just protecting myself if it does. Weird space to be in.

4 weeks ago tomorrow W told me she'd schedule MC. 3 weeks and nothing. A week ago, she told me she'd emailed her contact for a referral. Several days after that she said she'd follow up as she had yet to hear anything. Now, several more days later and nothing. I just don't get it. I know I can't rush her, but if this was important to her then she' do it. Her words are all good, her actions not so much.

I see her last night and she sits with arms crossed and not chatty. A bit later, it improved but still not great. I get home and she starts texting me and it's fine. It's like she's ok with me via TM, but not in person. SAYS she want's to do MC, but won't schedule it. Texts me ILY, not doesn't show it at all.

I don't understand. I know it's slow, I have to be patient, it's not a straight line; I just want the actions to match the words. Otherwise I am suspect of it all.
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

Top
#2169703 - 07/20/11 01:50 PM Re: XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined.... [Re: XYZ]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
I had a very long post...that cyber space ate...

mfer.
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


Top
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Moderator:  Jack_Three_Beans, Virginia 

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