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Update: just got back from overseas trip. Loved it! Hope to get the job permanently but it was great either way.

Busy. That's how I classify my life now. I am soooooo busy these days. Will catch up more later.

STBX wrote me an email suggesting she say something to daughter about going to dinner with me. Odd but a pleasant surprise.

Catch you all later!

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Journal entry:
I'm too trusting. Go figure. I slipped and trusted her again. Sheesh. You would think I would know better by now. smile
Que sera sera. I won't make that mistake too many more times I'm sure.

I did poke though. To keep the lawyers moving. Her lawyer is very disjointed and at first I blamed it on her. I don't think that's the case. I think it's the STBX based on some conversations with my lawyer.

STBX also tried to get my daughter to go to dinner with me. She told me she would suggest it to her because she felt that the longer it goes on the harder it will be for daughter to reconnect. BS. That was her lawyer again and possibly the therapist she took the kids to.

Good news is that the paperwork is proceeding and the kids are not found to have any serious issues. Good. I'm looking forward to relaxing this weekend and working around the house. Possibly blow that off to go hiking with friends. Should be fun this weekend. smile


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Tonight was fun. Was having a few down moments over the past few days, but that is behind me now.
Went to the run club tonight with my son. That was fun. I'm a very outgoing and talkative person and he likes to give me grief for talking to people. I tend to talk to ladies more, but it is kind of funny to see his sense of humor.

Later gator,

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Um. Wow. I'm slow. The other day her lawyer sent over a child support worksheet she filled out. I read into it that my stbx is going to try and go after custody. I think that's part of it. But it just dawned on me that her lawyer sent that over for another reason. I think she is not happy with her client and was showing her client that she had got all she was going to get unless she re-worked the numbers to show she has custody of my daughter. Things don't add up so it's a BS document (i.e. the sep agreement shows 50/50 custody but the child support shows 60/40 so that the numbers work better). I suspect the lawyer was also showing how her client is getting a good deal. I'm seeing things differently including that.
Most people that have dealt with both of us, independently don't like her or her attitude. Hmm....

Anyway, just posting.

Later!

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Journaling: got some texts from the stbx the other day. Pissed me off - the tone, not the content. It was about a final bill and she was very childish about how she went about it. It was very emotional laden on her part. Was like talking to a 5th grader. Her most common answer? 'Watever' smile Keep in mind this was via text.
I think I'm still concerned she might try to come back. I don't want that. I am no longer willing to make the marriage work. I know that much. I think I may be concerned because of what the therapist said a long time ago about me being done and her making up her mind sometime after that. Also because her anger feels like a connection. I don't like that. In my mind, if she wants to be gone, it hurt, sometimes still does, but I have no way to change that. It never was what I wanted until now. But I do not want any kind of connection at all. I see no reason to and I see danger and lack of boundaries if they are maintained.

That's how I feel about it anyway. Rational or not? I haven't figured that out yet.

I received a revised copy of the sep agreement to look over. Haven't had the time yet. Been having a great weekend with my son. Not ready to work yet smile

Later,

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Journaling:
And so it continues...
Email bullying from stbx. Doesn't have to be that way, but the emotions are pretty high on her end. I feel much more dispassionate. That's been a long time coming for me and I suspect that it will continue as she gets further past her graduation (lower stress) and continues some of her changes. I feel for her boyfriend, but not very much smile

The term I was trying to remember before was emotional generosity. The idea is that if you are emotionally stable and happy, you have and show more emotional generosity. If you are unhappy, you have no emotional generosity to allow you to give anything to anyone.
The describes my stbx to a "T". For me, it was very painful to live through. To others it is just interesting and annoying.

The latest? I've sent the revisions to the lawyer. In the meantime, the stbx decided to show her head. Wants me to pay for my son's ortho. I told her I need to confirm later that I can to which she became very accusatory and bullying in her tone. She responded by copying the two lawyers; that's not a very good idea. But it's also a cue to me to stop talking which is why I'm venting here.

I'm annoyed by the bullying. I'm dead tired of it. I know it won't stop. So I vent here.

Later,

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Journaling: Nothing to really report. Had to meet her at the bank today to cash the tax refund check. She had insisted on having the check mailed to her vs. having it deposited into our joint account. She tends to be very paranoid, but not really sure why.

Anyway, nothing to really report. Once again I'm waiting for the legal beagles to finish up their part. Her lawyer at this point. Starting to wonder what happens if we don't get a response prior to the date I can file for divorce. smile

Later gator,

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Hmmm... starting to change or just calm before the storm...again? Can't really tell but the monster seems to be nicer the past few days. I realize part of that is that she wanted something, but I'm hoping it sticks. It's annoying to have to deal with that for this long and to still be dealing with it this close to the divorce.

Still odd that she tries to tell me about her. I really don't care, but I'm starting to think she would do that with everyone and not just me. At first I wondered if she was trying to get me to "know" something of her or to say something to her about what a pretty girl she is, or something to recognize her accomplishements. Like watching a dog that wants to be stroked for retrieving the ball. Except this is the ego of my soon to be ex. Anyway, the next check came in and it'll be time to have to see the monster soon again. Hopefully she'll leave the monster at home instead.... one can only hope.

Should hear about the new job in the next few days. That's a nice surprise. We'll still have to see about the monetary portion and all that, but looks good.

I'm excited again. Dang it. smile

Later,

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Joined: Nov 2008
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Checked in with the lawyer today. Not sure what the hold up is, but ready to keep things moving.
Full disclosure: my running buddy yesterday mentioned that he talked with an old friend who mentioned he knew my stbx. She was trying to fix him up with her friend but it didn't work out. Then stbx starts texting this guy every week. Her MO? Yep. She did this before too with the current boyfriend.

I mention it becuase it bothered me more than I'd like to admit to even myself. I mention it becuase I have been and am right that she will and is changing as her pressure is relieved. I notice that she is going after guys that have a similar background to mine. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a parallel universe living right next to me where she is concerned... smile

Anyway, more fun on the job front - my coworker took the position down the street that was being used to try and lure me away. They are very much trying to drain the talent from this group. That's not a good position to be in really. Politics are thick but it's not my first rodeo....

Peace,

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Joined: Nov 2008
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After checking with the lawyer, hopefully, and that's a big if, things are progressing. Her lawyer has something planned, but we'll see how that goes and hopefully put this behind me sooner than later.

AJM


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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