NOTICE: We are running maintenance and pruning the forums this week and next. If there are any Topics or Posts you want to keep, please save them asap, as they may be deleted.
WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO KEEP THE FORUMS UP AND RUNNING.
HOWEVER, THERE MAY BE TIMES DURING THIS PROCESS WHEN THEY ARE DOWN.
THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING.
Page 8 of 11 < 1 2 ... 6 7 8 9 10 11 >
Topic Options
#2167278 - 07/11/11 07:46 PM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
I like your speed anaology XYZ.
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


Top
#2167349 - 07/12/11 04:43 AM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
MynameisMZ Offline
Member

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 482
Yeah, do the re-do of the 1st date etc.

Full discovery for me was 6/21/2010. On 6/22/2010 my H took me to a little island we went to on one of our 1st dates. We talked. I decided to stay. That move on his part was very smart. I reflect on it often....even though things can still be rough in this piecing process, his insight to do that was a good one.

I think it's important to get back to the basics that worked and keep working them.
_________________________
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29
S 22,21, 19
Bomb 4/10
It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013
We all have work to do


The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.

Top
#2167387 - 07/12/11 10:03 AM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: MynameisMZ]
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
W called just to chat on her way into work.... smile
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

Top
#2167395 - 07/12/11 10:34 AM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: XYZ]
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
BTW, didn't redo the date. We're not there yet and W has made it clear that we need baby steps. We're friends, not romantic (except at night when I'm dreaming! wink ).

I did say to her on the phone last night "well, maybe next year we can celebrate it better". She laughed a bit and said "yeah, sounds good". For THIS year, I'll take that.
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

Top
#2167640 - 07/13/11 11:27 AM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: XYZ]
Harrier Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/10
Posts: 781
Loc: Connecticut
Where you are I absolutely agree with your stance.

Remember the Valentine's card fiasco? Good thing you don't have that looming.

I think these life events can be tricky. When I was more in a piecing mode, I struggled, but I think I steered the correct course. Of course, I did make a blunder.

Valentines, birthdays, anniversaries. Tricky. I think remember is nice and appropriate.
_________________________
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
--Jean Jacques Rousseau.

Top
#2167990 - 07/14/11 11:36 AM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: Harrier]
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
Having a rough day. This really pisses me off because 3 days ago I was really in a good spot. Nothing significant has changed, I'm just cycling and it [censored]. I sure hope I cycle up again soon....

Only 3 items worth noting...

(1) no therapy appointment yet. Uggggghh. I know the week isn't over yet, but come on...

(2) W wanted to be careful about ILY in front of kids. They have completely dropped off except in TM. I guess I get it, but hate it and makes me feel like something has changed (back), although I don't really think it has, just feels that way.

(3) D6 asked me last night "daddy, did you want to leave?". I said "no honey, I didn't." She said, "what did you say when mommy told you you had to leave?". I just said "I was sad that mommy and I weren't getting along like we should". I almost feel apart. My heart is broken.
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

Top
#2167994 - 07/14/11 11:46 AM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: XYZ]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
Quote:

I know the week isn't over yet, but come on


All hail "But" King of the excuses. : )
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


Top
#2167995 - 07/14/11 11:48 AM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
Quote:

(2) W wanted to be careful about ILY in front of kids. They have completely dropped off except in TM. I guess I get it, but hate it and makes me feel like something has changed (back), although I don't really think it has, just feels that way.


I brought this up with my wife when we were piecing.

I said I liked them, they helped and it seemed like we were falling bcak into old habits. Since old habits is how we got so bad, maybe we needed to make sure we had new ones. Such as the ILY's.
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


Top
#2168004 - 07/14/11 12:13 PM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
I'm a dope. Just got TM from W:

"Hey, meant to tell you that I emailed my contact yesterday. Sorry it took so long. ily"

(This is the referral for the MC).

I replied:
"Thanks! I know you're busy and you have no idea how much this means to me. ily"
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

Top
#2168005 - 07/14/11 12:17 PM Re: XYZ is here, and it looks like I'm staying... [Re: XYZ]
XYZ Offline
Member

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 391
Loc: Cumming, GA
She replied: "Means a lot to me too, ily"
_________________________
M: 39 W: 37
Married: 9
D5; S3
"It's Over" 09/26/10
11 Day Sep 10/10
Piecing Starts 11/4/10
Piecing Fails 4/11
I move out 5/11
Hire Lawyer 6/11 - Stall 6/22/11
Piecing #2 - 6/22/11
Home 10/11

Top
Page 8 of 11 < 1 2 ... 6 7 8 9 10 11 >


Moderator:  Jack_Three_Beans, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004