Is filing for D a 180?

[luvmyhubby]

So I havent been in a while and thought I would pop in and update everything. The D is filed as of 8/17/11 by him. He filed alone (we agreed to go together) and left the paperwork on my bathroom counter. He didnt tell me or leave the papers for 3 days.. So now it seems his family is getting his sad side of the story and i am the bad person. I caused the breakdown and forced him into leaving and adultery. I know the truth and have since stopped all communication with his family except for a few members.
I have limited contact with them to only a few things. I started a Divorce Care class yesterday and wanted to cry the whole time. As happy as I think I eventually will be I think the wounds are so fresh they really hurt.

I no longer see him every day, only for regular visitation. I have put my boundaries up with visitation and made a schedule. We have agreed on everything for the divorce so it should be failry easy and cheap. This is his major concern..

I can look back now at the events and see that he would have never done anything if I hadnt forced. I dont mean this in a bad way towards me but that he was content chasing the OW and living at home. He didnt come clean until I forced it out of him. So I believe he was securing his new relationship before completely snapping ours off.

For example he didnt tell me he actually wanted a divorce until after he slept with her. (he admitted this after I told him I KNEW the date). He didnt tell me we wouldnt work until after he spent a fun filled weekend with her and had pictures.

I am trying very hard to let go and to forgive etc but every day is a challenge. I am praying that my classes will help me work through that. I an relying on friends to keep me busy and to help me work through my pain and hurt.

I do have good days and love spending time with my children. Praying for my own healing and that the father of my children will still provide emotional and financial support for his kids. I also pray that he walks the path he needs to walk and learns the lessons put before him.

[luvmyhubby]

So today i thought i would post an update.. I dont come to this site very often but feel it has given me the most support i could have ever asked for. My divorce was final 11/22/2011... After that I didnt get any child support until Feb. Recently had to file for bankruptcy in order to keep my house and my ex is now engaged to the OW and living with her. Oh and she was a stripper when he met her..

Now that all of that is out of the way I can say that I have not been this happy in a long long time! All of the things whirling around me that seem jaw dropping dont seem so bad. One of my good friends recently told me that I was the strongest woman she has ever known.. Funny thing is that I think the same about her! She was able to save her marriage..

I now am in control of my life and my children's lives as much as I can be. While my ex is still lying about the color of his shirt so to speak .. I am getting my independence.. I found a journal the other day from 2009.. It was a huge eye opener as to how many stressors i had on me and was furious about. My entire journal entry was about how my ex was not helping or being the man i wanted.
I in no way regret trying to save my marriage.. However the loss of my marriage has also given me closeness to GOD, the ability to be a better mother and the ability to be happy with myself.

So i now recommend these books to just about anyone.. As well as the counselors! I tell anyone i talk to that it will either save their relationship or save them in general.. Either way it is worth it!

So my days arent perfect and neither am I but I am thankful for every day and Divorce Busting!

[esoben]

Wow, I just followed your story from July 2011 to present. I'm really happy for you. I consider you a success story and wish you the best...