Frank, Sorry to hear you have to move to an apartment. Wishing there turns out to be a silver lining in it for you somewhere. And Kerry your humor is always refreshing.
Fib - you will probably enjoy the lack of upkeep on the apartment. And the kids will love the pool. Have fun decorating it to your taste, but try to avoid that whole "man cave" design style, lol! (When we bought my mom's house, the previous owner was a single guy who had painted the baseboards black and the walls gray - NOT a good idea in a 50's ranch!)
My internet dating update: (NOT that I've dated any of these guys, these are just who's contacting me)
One 24 year old who tried to tell me women his age just couldn't handle his enormous endowment (lol!)
One guy my age who lives in another state, when I asked him to tell me a little more about himself he jumped directly to inviting me to join him on vacation in a week (ummmmmm....I think not!)
One 37 year old from Australia who said if I lived closer he'd invite me out for hot chocolate (is that an Aussie thing? Or has it just been a particularly cold winter down there? And how sad is it that a 37 year old is starting to sound almost old enough for me?)
These are just the highlights!
I am SO glad that my first internet dating experience was so good, otherwise I'd be giving up by now. I try to keep in mind that I will likely have to sift through hundreds of profiles before I find what I'm looking for.
One 24 year old who tried to tell me women his age just couldn't handle his enormous endowment (lol!)
Hey kml...wouldn't that put you into 'cougar' territory?
Besides, according to that pdf that we had discussed here more than a year ago, the female author wrote that, well, for women in their 30's-50's, they actually DO prefer a little extra. LOL. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
fb2...I think the loss of the house will crush them, but then again, I thought the split up would also and it hasn't. I think my son is actually feeling the loss of attention to OM6 (or was it 8?).
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I love owning my own home but I have to say that renting had its perks: no maintenance if the toilet overflowed, i just called the landlord if water pressure was crappy, someone else fixed it if pine cones fell into the sewer vent, someone else had to drill them out if any of the appliances broke, someone else had to replace them shingles blowing off was not my problem
you say "cougar" like it's a bad thing. And KML, (?) As for the extra endowment, I think how they use what they have is what counts but good God, who talks about it? (Oh wait, I know...guys who don't know what to do with it & think their size means no work on their end...)
ANYHOW....as for the internet dating thing, my brother and sister have both met good people with it, as it was done with great care and some humor. My brother married the woman he met on the net, over 11 years ago and they're still together with a child and a working marriage. My sister just got engaged to a man she met from an online site.
As a woman over 30, if you are not in a work environment with a lot of men, (by "men" I mean men whom you'd be willing to date), how else do we meet them? No way in a bar, please...
FIB ,when you're ready, let someone else write up your post or screen for you. I mean like your sisters!
And stop counting the OMs...they are so NOT important. Be there for your kids and give them extra TLC and make up for whatever batchit chick (xw) is doing.
How is the new job? I would think in NYC you'd have to rent a place without a yard. True? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
One of the most difficult days of my life today since the divorce began. Today, I signed away the house I built in 1998. XW will walk away with a reasonable chunk of money. I will walk away.....with a shortfall.
That's right. I won't satisfy all my bills. The market is such that I took a beating on the sale of my house. I guess, I should look at the positive, and be happy I didn't owe more on the mortgage than the value of my home.
Still, after all this time, I feel like a failure. My kids will be crushed even tho' they know this day was coming. Their cousins live across the street and they would simply all spill out into the cul-de-sac and play ball or manhunt. My nephews would walk across the street and just 'hang' to play video games with their 'unk' (me), filling those empty hours when MY kids were not there.
It just sucks.
I am struggling with my choices:
stay nearby in Divorce City, an apt. complex with all types of loners, no amenities, outdoor shared washers/dryers and have no space...yet be close to my kids
middle ground: another apt. complex in the next town over, slightly nicer, a 10 minute drive away
a pricier apt complex, next town over but same school district (not that it matters anyway), but with outdoor swimming pool, garage (?storage), 2 BR with a loft that could be made into another BR, weight room/gym, basketball court, racquetball court and clean newer apt
Both my sisters have offered me to stay there (not for free of course). One lives across the street and the other 2 blocks away. We all bought from the same builder. Well....I just can't for obvious reasons.
I've been honest here from the beginning. I'm crushed. This is my home and I guess there was a little denial going on. I know, in my heart, when it's done, I will do fine. I've survived ILYBIWTRBIML; I've survived over 20 court hearings; I've survived the loss of time with my kids. It's time to lose my house.
There isn't much left on the bone to pick at.
Dunno...just speechless.
I just keep going. Strength and honor.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Sorry for all the bad stuff, FIB. Lets hope this is the end of it. I think the nice apt sounds like the best choice. You need to be nice to yourself. If you won't, who will?
I can understand your loss. I would have been devastated also if I had to sell my home which I owned 5 years prior to marriage. It is part of you.
I am with Sara in thinking that the nice 2 BR with loft is probably going to be the best in the long run. Is it something you will be able to afford over the next 3-4 years?
