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#2142031 - 03/23/11 10:35 AM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Lorie1964]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
I've forgiven her for everything she's told me of. I will forgive her for anything and everything. I love her more than anything on earth. She's is the most amazing person I've ever heard of. And it took her doing this for me to fully understand how much I love her.
Isn't that funny? She had to run me off and file for divorce for me to know how much my marriage meant to me. I used to mock guys who were "suckers" when their wives wanted a divorce. Now I am one. And I'm strangely okay with it. Kinda.
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

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#2143700 - 03/29/11 11:15 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
Not really much to say. Just kinda checking in. It's weird. Everytime I start to doubt, reminders come along and show me wait I'm praying for. I admit, I'm on the lookout for them. But that's how you go thru life. Looking for signs is how we get where going. If you don't believe me, go to Vegas or Branson and try to find your way without keeping an eye out for signs. :-)
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

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#2143756 - 03/30/11 08:29 AM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
cewstillloveslaw Offline
New Member

Registered: 03/29/11
Posts: 2
Loc: North Carolina
Hang in there Bro. I hope the signs you are getting are good. I was getting very good signs at the beginning of my stand but now they seem very few and far in between. I believe God wants me to learn how to walk by faith and not by sight. I began my stand five months ago. It has been a very rocky road. I have been teetering on the cliff of despair and discouragement. But the Lord has seen me through. My wife is presently still in the home. But, this I learned this morning, that she has separated her funds into her own checking account and is now thinking about moving out. She has been speaking divorce since this started but has not yet filed. I am fasting and praying. I know God is on the side of our marriage and He Hates divorce. I believe God will restore my marriage, but the circumstances speak a different outcome. I'm hanging onto God's mighty hand, mercy, and His Grace. Any advice anyone can give me will be very much appreciated.

M- 51
W- 45
2 S, 20 & 12
1 D, 17
T 27 YEARS
M 24 YEARS
idwtbm speech Oct 28, 2010

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#2144102 - 03/31/11 11:16 AM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: cewstillloveslaw]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
God is the God of all things. My signs come from Him. Signs from her are ambivalent at best. We just had a 40 minute phone conversation. Just visiting about stuff. But I live for those conversations. My signs from God aren't ambivalent. He tells me to hold on. I hear songs at the right times, see reminders, and a hundred little things that mean something, only to me. But I'm the one who wants a marriage. God and me. And with God on my side, who could stand against me?
“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate it when people clothe themselves with injustice,” says the LORD Almighty.-Malachi 2:16
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

Top
#2144278 - 03/31/11 09:38 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
Lorie1964 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/10
Posts: 388
Loc: Southern Indiana
God is awesome! I have been at this for five months too. I hear very little from H except if it has to do with finances or D16. It sure doesn't seem like God is working on the other side of the mountain, but I know He is and things will come together in His time. Funny thing about signs in one week I got the verses about a time for everything three times last week. During my prayer time I hear God telling me patience. So, I am thinking I need to be patient and wait for His time.

I know this can be discouraging, but don't either of you give up, we have to be patient and TRUST that God is working on our spouses' hearts!

God Bless!
_________________________
Lorie
W47 H48 D16
M20
H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW

When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.

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#2144553 - 04/01/11 10:38 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
cewstillloveslaw Offline
New Member

Registered: 03/29/11
Posts: 2
Loc: North Carolina
The songs at the right time are very encouraging. My Hope is in God and not my wife. He's working on her heart for I know He loves her and cares for us. It's a battle to hold on. for sometimes her words and demeanor are haunting. But God Gave me a verse that will not allow me to give up.
Isa 50:2 "When I came, why was there no one? When I called, why was there no one to answer? Was my arm too short to deliver you? Do I lack the strength to rescue you? By a mere rebuke I dry up the sea, I turn rivers into a desert; their fish rot for lack of water and die of thirst."

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#2144647 - 04/02/11 05:50 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: cewstillloveslaw]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; those who seek find; and to those who knock, the door will be opened." -Matthew 7:7-8
My wife has told me she has quit. I can't change her mind. Only God can. I've placed her at His feet to change. And God will. He's told me to be patient. It's hard at times. But He reews my strength. He will not grow weary.
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

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#2144769 - 04/03/11 05:47 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
So, I don't go to church very regularly. About every 2-3 weeks depending on my schedule. But today when I went, the pastor was continuing a series of sermons on the book of Ruth. And at the end he was summing up lessons he felt we should take away from todays sermon and the final lesson was: "When you've done all you can, have patience for God to do the rest. His timing is always perfect." Like I've said before, if I don't get the hint, God will stamp it on a sledgehammer and hit me in the forehead with it :-)
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

Top
#2145611 - 04/07/11 02:46 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
Today I happened to read a statement that made me need to write about it. I've read it many times on here, "My spouse will never change their mind. Right or wrong when they make up their mind, they stick with it." My own wife said as much. Now my reply: If this were true, would any of us be on here? My wife "made up her mind" to have a marriage with me. Then, she changed it to divorce. What makes us believes they can't/won't change it again? Is it our depression/anger that makes us so cynical?
Well, I'm here with Hope. I haven't got my wife back yet. But I will. I know too many people who were able to piece it back together. It can be done. And it will be done.
Have Faith. With Faith, all things are possible. God can turn their heart back to you. Believe it and it will done for you.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

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#2145776 - 04/08/11 10:43 AM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
LauraOh Offline
Member

Registered: 04/01/10
Posts: 519
I think you are doing amazingly well. Use your time conversing w/ your wife to really, really REALLY get to know her. Women love a man who "gets her". There are so many men out there that don't--you will be heads above the rest if you make it your mission to "know your W".

What is her favorite color? favorite song? favorite new artist? What are her Love Languages? What makes her laugh--always try to get her to laugh! It's magical!

Share your spiritual growth w/ her. Let her know that you feel God's presence w/ you.

And be a little naughty too--women love the "bad boy". Not over the top--but just throw a few little "guy things" out there now and then.

Many on this board would kill to have hour-long conversations with their S's. These may be too long--mix it up some and see if it's helpful--20 minutes here (and then you have to go--be a little mysterious), and 45 minutes there.

Good luck!

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