Get help from a Divorce Busting® Telephone Coach TODAY! We specialize in helping you get your marriage back on track, even when your spouse has one foot out the door. Don't be discouraged. We can help.
303-444-7004
or 800-664-2435
Page 8 of 22 < 1 2 ... 6 7 8 9 10 ... 21 22 >
Topic Options
#2120409 - 01/14/11 09:01 AM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
2stepboogie Offline
Member

Registered: 01/09/11
Posts: 1496
I got to tell you Roy you are one inspirational guy. You post actually make me smile. What's funny is I go through different levels of emotions yesterday I was very hopeful but today I am in tears in the morning. If you knew me you would know just how out of character that really is. I have always been the person to show no emotions, my wife use to say I had a delete button for emotion and was capable of washing my hands of anger and resentment with ease. I have always been of the belief that if someone does not want to be with you, talk to you, see you or value you then they are not worth the effort, there are 3 billion other people out there that would love to know you. She has taken that theory and thrashed it. Please keep posting you make my day a little brighter when I read your post. I really do hope it works out for you because you deserve it, I on the other hand feel broken down. There is so much more to say.......
_________________________
BITS


Top
#2120529 - 01/14/11 04:10 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
Lorie1964 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/10
Posts: 388
Loc: Southern Indiana
Roy,

I believe going through this has brought me closer to Christ and all his wonders. I feel a peace right now by laying this at his feet. My prayer life has increased and I wanted to share a prayer I have found when praying for H.

Jesus, Good Shepherd, I earnestly ask you to send your grace of conversion into the of (Spouse Name) who has strayed away from grace. You went out in search of the one sheep which was lost and you called for rejoicing when it was found. Help (spouse name) now so we may rejoice in your goodness.
We pray in particular for (spouse name) who once was so close to you and now has drifted away because of sin or neglect. (Spouse Name) is yours, Lord Jesus, redeemed by your precious blood. Bring (spouse name) back safely into your fold. I ask this in your name. Amen.

God Bless and keep the Faith. God is an awesome God!
_________________________
Lorie
W47 H48 D16
M20
H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW

When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.

Top
#2120738 - 01/15/11 09:32 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: 2stepboogie]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
I have to tell you, I go thru those same emotions. Everyday. But as I've said, you can't fight them. Look at them. realize why you feel this way. Don't just say they did this to me. really look. Really get to know you. Your spouse used to really love most parts of you. They probably still love a lot of those parts. If they are anything like mine, they just dislike other parts of you too much. And chances are, you don't much like those parts either. As I've read it, "You can't change them, Just you. Do it for you. Not for them." No matter what happens, you need to like you. And the first step is to know Why you feel the way you do. And deal with those things. Good luck with it. I'm still working on it.
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

Top
#2120741 - 01/15/11 09:43 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Lorie1964]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
Originally Posted By: Lorie1964
Roy,

I believe going through this has brought me closer to Christ and all his wonders. I feel a peace right now by laying this at his feet. My prayer life has increased and I wanted to share a prayer I have found when praying for H.

Jesus, Good Shepherd, I earnestly ask you to send your grace of conversion into the of (Spouse Name) who has strayed away from grace. You went out in search of the one sheep which was lost and you called for rejoicing when it was found. Help (spouse name) now so we may rejoice in your goodness.
We pray in particular for (spouse name) who once was so close to you and now has drifted away because of sin or neglect. (Spouse Name) is yours, Lord Jesus, redeemed by your precious blood. Bring (spouse name) back safely into your fold. I ask this in your name. Amen.

God Bless and keep the Faith. God is an awesome God!


If this were Facebook, I would definitely Like this post!
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

Top
#2120774 - 01/16/11 10:46 AM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
2stepboogie Offline
Member

Registered: 01/09/11
Posts: 1496
You seem to be in a much better place than I am emotionally but today I have decided to get up and go to church something I haven't done in years. I spoke to her Saturday night and she seems so resolute in her decision. She has dug in her heels and has accepted the divorce as part of life and learning and moving forward. When I hear words like that I feel as though all is lost that there is nothing to save and at some point you have to move forward. Sometimes I feel hanging on to hope is what is keeping me from really letting go. The conversation started pleasant about work and other things with some laughter and jokes but when it turned into the marriage talk (initiated by her)she turned cold but still she was nice and pleasant just very matter of fact. She said she is hurting but is doing good, better every day and she has learned a valuable lesson she hopes never to learn again.
_________________________
BITS


Top
#2120782 - 01/16/11 12:01 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: 2stepboogie]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
Resolute: The very word my wife used. Repeatedly. I still visit very easily with my wife. She has filed. She has started using her maiden name. She has a close "friend." But I won't give up.
Emotionally, I'm a wreck. When I let myself be. I just don't let it happen very often. Like I said before, I don't bottle it up, I just keep a close eye on it. Examine it and know what brought it on. She is constantly "moving on" and "trying to heal" and tells me all about it. And it hurts to hear it. But I also hear the other parts in her voice. The parts she misses and wants to keep. I just pray there is enough of those for her to miss it. And me. I'll not give up. I'm keeping my vow. I made it to God, not my wife. She hasn't the power to release me from it. And I won't ask God to release me. I ask Him to allow me to fulfill it. I ask Him to allow me to "not divorce the wife of my youth." Those are the Lords words and I pray for the blessing of it. May God bless you and give you the strength you need. Whatever you decide.
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

Top
#2120792 - 01/16/11 02:44 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
2stepboogie Offline
Member

Registered: 01/09/11
Posts: 1496
Maybe we are married to the same woman? LOL. I skipped some things in the book and went straight to asking for what I wanted which got exactly the result I should of expected. Because the conversation was going good I decided to ask to hold the divorce and let's see what happens. She said "what you are asking me to do is to trust you again and let you hurt me again and I can't do that. You want to stop the divorce or hold it off for a few months but I don't see myself going back to you in two or three months. I never stopped being your friend but you stopped being mine and you want me to go back on my decision which I have made and I can't do that. You’re not hearing me I hurt just like you I come home to an empty house but it was the decision I made and I can't just forget that and start fresh. In order to do that we would have to forgive and forget and I can't do that" Almost word for word what she said. As you can see she sounds determined. Church was great today but I could not get through one hymn without tearing up. She always said she wanted to go as a family and we did a few times but when football started I stopped going. She didn't go back either. Today I went with my daughter and it felt empty and lonely but being in church I just felt like I belonged. What's funny is we were the couple everyone wanted to be. We had such a connection and we were such good friends I don't get it man. I just don't.........................
_________________________
BITS


Top
#2120793 - 01/16/11 02:46 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: Royloveshiswife]
2stepboogie Offline
Member

Registered: 01/09/11
Posts: 1496
I know she no longer wears her wedding ring but carries the band in her purse she said the rings became heavy. She has not changed her FB profile yet and neither have I. Strange it seems
_________________________
BITS


Top
#2120800 - 01/16/11 03:05 PM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: 2stepboogie]
dbmod Offline
Member

Registered: 08/04/08
Posts: 2154
^
_________________________
dbmod

Top
#2121556 - 01/19/11 01:54 AM Re: The hardest thing I've ever done. [Re: dbmod]
Royloveshiswife Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 167
Loc: rural Missouri
So, today I had to have a minor outpatient surgery on my arm (I'm ok, it was benign), when the doctor asked me if there was anyone in the lobby that he needed to speak to, it was all I could do to choke out the words, "No, there's no one." Spent most of the day recovering from that.
_________________________
M-34
W-31
2 S,11&11
1 D, 6
T 13 YEARS
M 12 YEARS
ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009
We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.

Top
Page 8 of 22 < 1 2 ... 6 7 8 9 10 ... 21 22 >


Moderator:  Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004