Page 44 of 87 < 1 2 ... 42 43 44 45 46 ... 86 87 >
Topic Options
#1845155 - 09/25/09 09:30 PM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: dolphin_05]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Doh!!
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

Top
#1845264 - 09/26/09 05:49 AM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: Eskimo Nell]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
A text from H to enquire about D. No other contact since our convo Tuesday. He's probably quite relaxed in the knowledge that I am still 'on side'. I'm only partially there though. I'm not sure how long I should allow him to initiate or if I should initiate with the goal of him accepting an invitation. Decisions, decisions!!!

I went to a wedding yesterday and it made me feel a little reflective to see such a happy family occasion and I wondered about our own children and their future special events.

Top
#1845267 - 09/26/09 06:42 AM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: dolphin_05]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Hope that some aspects of the wedding were enjoyable for you, Cas. It must be difficult to predict how things will be in the future but you have to reframe all of that and just wait ... lots can change by then.

I think that maybe waiting for your H to initiate another contact would be the way to go and then, you could try initiate one. Let him do the lions share.
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

Top
#1845281 - 09/26/09 08:22 AM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: Eskimo Nell]
girlfromoz Offline
Member

Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 885
Hi Cas

I think it depends how long you think it will take your H to initiate contact again and how quickly you would like to have contact with him.

If he is going to take a long time and you would prefer contact sooner then you would be best to initiate otherwise wait for H. I hate these kinds of decisions, I am not a good decision maker at the best of times.
_________________________

Trying to keep hope alive

Top
#1845521 - 09/26/09 07:14 PM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: girlfromoz]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
Thanks Oz and Nell. The wedding was beautiful and the bride was just stunning. She is one of those people whose smile lights up a room.

I don't think H will initiate contact actually....same old, same old. He has me on side, no need to work at it. It's still all about him.

Top
#1845537 - 09/26/09 08:15 PM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: dolphin_05]
girlfromoz Offline
Member

Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 885
Well then Cas if you know he won't initiate do you feel that you want to?
_________________________

Trying to keep hope alive

Top
#1845566 - 09/26/09 09:35 PM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: girlfromoz]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
I am thinking that i will initiate with something simple and then ensure I take a pressure free stance. I know I have a different attitude now and I feel sure I can do this in a more detached mode.

However, just initiating might be pressuring. I guess I could ask him if he minds that i initiate.

In previous times H would get annoyed with me because I was a people pleaser and never made a decision, always waiting on others so perhaps being decisive is a good thing.

Top
#1845570 - 09/26/09 09:53 PM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: dolphin_05]
girlfromoz Offline
Member

Registered: 08/05/09
Posts: 885
I think your last paragraph has given you your answer. If it is a 180 for you to make a decision and take action then I think you are right it is a good thing.
_________________________

Trying to keep hope alive

Top
#1845575 - 09/26/09 10:07 PM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: girlfromoz]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
I just sent him a text to say I was going for a beach walk this afternoon and if he was interested he might like to come along. He replied that he would let me know because he had to work today and wasn't sure when he would finish. I am going to go out soon so that I am not wondering if I will hear from him.

Top
#1845598 - 09/26/09 11:53 PM Re: Long Journey .......... advice please [Re: dolphin_05]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Good move Cas. At least your H is considering it.

I would just love things to turn out right for you. I think that you so deserve it.

Look after yourself ((Cas))
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

Top
Page 44 of 87 < 1 2 ... 42 43 44 45 46 ... 86 87 >


Moderator:  dbmod, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004