I am wondering, i know there is an OM i don't know how far the relationship is EA or PA. I have been reading other threads and I see that there are a lot of people who believe that giving boundries and such is a positive move. But with her I know she wants my children with her. And by that I mean she most likely will move to her home town where her entire family is which is two hours away. I don't want that to happen. She says divorce every once in a while. Mainly when we are arguing or something upsets her. I have no desire to let my kids be that far away from me. I have no desire to be a part time father.
If I start giving boundries with my wife (who says she is done and has no try left in her) I'm really sure she is going to serve me papers and then try and get full custody of my kids. I really just don't know where to go. I'm at a fork in the road. I want to tell her that I want to be friends but I don't want to be friends with someone who has been lying to me for the past 4 months, that I have no idea why I have put up with being treated the way she is treating me. I want to start taking a stand to start tipping the scales a bit in my favor but I don't know how to with out making my sitch worse than it already is.
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
Wild - I am in a similar sitch..my wife for all intensive purposes of done. I have three kids so I understand your concern. Look buddy your scared right now (so am I) but do not react based on your fear. Remember you cannot control what she does but you can control how you respond. In terms of the kids, you may want to do some research on the laws in your state as it relates to custody. In terms of confronting about the OM - thier are two thoughts...some will say confront other will say do not confront. If you decided to confront do you feel in your heart of hearts that you are ready for outcome of the confrontation. If not, then I would not confront. How old is your W? How old R the kids? Each sitch is a little different. You may want to talk to a DB coach to see what they think.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I know I know, that is what has stopped me from pretty much dressing her down with words FEAR. I care for my kids more than anything and having her take them from me would devestate me. I have done some research and it looks like CO is a 50 50 state unless you fight for full custody. Which I don't want to do because my kids need their mother as much as they need me. Confronting the other man crosses my mind a billion times a day and each time the outcome is my W just pushing further away. My wife is 27 im almost 29, the kids D7 and S2. we got married young and all of that. I want to talk to a DB but cant afford it right now.
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
Wild - a 50/50 is great (at least that is my feeling). You need to consider the kids before you make a determination on if you will confront. I would take some time for YOU and figure out what YOU really want. Keep your head up - you will survive. Find out who you are and what you want. A marriage should not define you. Keep your head up buddy.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I want a 50/50 but with what she is doing or going through I think the kids would be better off with me. They have their own rooms their own beds and a big back yard to play in. She is living with her friend from work sleeping on a couch. And if she does get joint physical custody I know she'll move back to her home town and take the kids with her which would make me either move down there or I would become a part time dad.
I'm keeping my head up. I had a great weekend this week. I was all smiles when ever she came around. I cant say I am doing the LRT but I am doing 180's which honestly feel great.
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
Actually had a good day with W and kids at the zoo, didn't really want to have her come but she hadnt seen the kids for two days. So I suggested we go to the zoo. After the zoo we were sitting out side of my house smoking and she admitted to me that she needed to go on anti-anxiety meds again. She said she gets anxiety everytime she leaves my house and our kids, when she is at work, when she goes to her apartment. I just nodded and looked at her. I told her anxiety was probably one of the shittiest feelings ive had in these past months and left it at that. I've been smart about what I talk about. I guess ignoring my feelings and wanting to get her to talk about our R is really helping me. Its making a difference for how I feel and react around her. So, one step forward hopefully a billion more to come!
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
Took a huge fracking backslide today. And I JUST READ ABOUT IT. MAN I COULD SHOOT MYSELF. We were out on the back porch and I started to talk to her about our R and ask her if I was stupid for loving her still? Really come on man. Some on slap me around. I could just go out side right now and yell at the moon. I talked about the R with OM and all of that I don't know why I just did. I told her that I don't like how she treated me and that I knew I made mistakes but at least I am owning up to mine. pretty much did a lot of things I shouldn't have. I'm an idiot.....
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
I still have that problem. I'll be going along fine and then some R talk slips out of my mouth suddenly. It's not easy. Don't beat yourself up. Just get back on the horse for awhile.
