Mr. Conway counseled a great many couples, OP, and based his book on large amounts of research/counseling sessions he did..PLUS his own MLC.
A very knowledgeable man. I enjoyed reading his book, and get something different out of it each time I've read it.
Knowledge is always power, and we can never gain enough knowledge. It, in turn, increases our understanding.
Have a good one.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
I will leave one more part of this for everyone's thoughts. And I am paraphrasing this:
"Marriage Problems
1) Preoccupation with the process of living. Raising kids, paying mortgage and accumulating things. 2) Lack of communication and intimacy. The couple is not sharing the things that make them happy or causes them to be uneasy. 3) Unmet personal needs. A man say I'm in love with you - What he really means is You meet my needs and make me happy. People that have fallen out of love are really reporting that their needs are no longer being met. They are unable to verbalize to the other person that they have needs that are not being met. They simply say I don't love you anymore. 4) A lack of personal growth. Old problems from adolescence. Boredom with marriage."
There are many other good things from the book but I won't ruin it for those of you that have not read it.
Originally Posted By: HeartsBlessing
Knowledge is always power, and we can never gain enough knowledge. It, in turn, increases our understanding.
Titles that contain good relevant information are easy to get into and absorb. Your new library is filling up with stuff you never would have considered reading before. You had wisdom before. Now you're acquiring knowledge. You're becoming a better person. That is the purpose of coming here, and the reward.
What title is next?
Have you listed "Understanding the Mid-Life Crisis" by Peter O'Connor ? No longer in print. Sometimes on Amazon - used, or library for free. A very informative read.
Soon you'll need to add non-technical non-MLC stuff. Variety also makes us better people.
It is something I am working on. I am still reading this book "The Wisdom of Menopause" by Christine Northrup and I have a few other titles here but I have to decide whether I am going to read the books or find some other ones. I am using the list from the resources as a basis to look for books. The library has become a good friend. I never really was a big reader so that is a huge 180 for me. I have to be VERY motivated to read a book but I have to say that the knowledge is well worth it.
Variety, you have a point there. It will have to be the right subject.
My S22 finished his master's thesis defense yesterday. Its is in Math(topology). So we are very proud parents now. Will be attending his graduation in two weeks for undergraduate and master's degree at the same time. A trip to Rochester. He will be attending Dartmouth in the fall for his PHD. It is in the same subject but as a Computer Scientist.
We have some of my cousins visiting for the weekend. They are attending a fencing tournament at Vassar college.
Congratulations are in order for your son. I'm sure that you and your wife are very proud of him.
Happy Mother's Day to your wife, stepmother and mother.
Enjoy the weekend!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Since you are so good about guiding me to wonderful reading homework assignments, i thought I would return the favor!
I usually read a number of books simultaneously, for variety, and to suit my mood at a given moment.
I think you may enjoy "Why is God Laughing" by Deepak Chopra. It is fiction with a message. Actually, I recommend it to everyone! It is short, uncomplicated, and everyone gets something different from it.
More biblio-therapy: If you are ready to branch out: This is strange science fiction and old. Probably available through interlibrary loan..."the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever", by Stephen R Donaldson. I think the 1st is called "White Gold Wielder" b/c Thomas appears in this strange land wearing his white gold wedding ring which identifies him as "the one" to overcome evil Lord Foul. Like I said, Strange science fiction.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
Thanks for the book rec. I need to look for something else, I will check to see if our library has one of these.
GATTGirl
Thanks for the compliment. When I first started here I couldn't find the resources so I thought it would be a good idea for me to make it a little easier on the newbies.
I love MWD! But the forum mechanics here leaves a little bit to be desired.
Yes, the links make the materials SO much more accessible. I also really like seeing the titles of books people recommend. I have read many books recommended here, but the one that has had the biggest impact on me is "Intimacy and Desire" by David Schnarch. This was published last fall and to me seems more accessible than "Passionate Marriage" by the same author (just my personal preference). Moving forward after divorce I really needed a compass to guide me in how to become the best partner I can be in the future. This book gives a roadmap, including information about how to develop a healthy $exual relationship (the last 1/4 of the book). The author has been a $ex therapist for 30 yars, but I like the way he relies on true intimacy (honest sharing between partners), rather than on techniques, to form the basis of a healthy $exual relationship.
