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That is the problem with this disease. You don't die from it, but from some side effect like falling down or choking. I am sure that is why his W was so upset. Natural reaction, after help came to "Save them"


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I just finished reading the book "Menopause" by Sally Conway. The book was written about 20 years ago. Her husband(Jim Conway) wrote a lot of male mid-life books and they run a clinic in California devoted to mid-life problems. She seems to really advocate estrogen, along with other things. I need to do some more research on what happens if you don't take estrogen. According to S. Conway Osteoporosis, heart disease, and other things are the major problems. She seems to think that doctors and OBGYN are using old information about the risks of cancer with ERT. It was an interesting book, I just wonder how up to date the knowledge is.

I have a more recent book called "The Wisdom of Menopause" by Christine Northrup will start reading that to see if their are different ideas.
Also got Men in Mid-Life Crisis by Jim Conway.
My reading continues. I have really read a lot of books now.
Quite a change for me.

Last edited by OldPilot; 04/29/10 09:57 PM.

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Keep reading! The books you mentioned are all good. Sally passed away a few years ago, but Jim still continues on w/his work and he has his own web site, i.e., forum.

Sally's data isn't too far off base...concerning health issues, etc.


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The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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OP,

Reading does help. I read a lot in the beginning. I was always trying to find the answers to explain our problems.

It helped me get through as does reading this board. My W always thought I was trying to fix her though so I usually would read in private.

How does your W feal about you reading these books?

I hope your Dad gets better,

Matt

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Originally Posted By: Matt-14
I hope your Dad gets better

Thanks Matt, about my dad. He is going for another doctors appointment today. I was suppose to go with them to NYC but the doctor changed the appointment last night at 5PM. I don't think I can rearrange my schedule for today to be able to go. Kind of disappointed about that.
When I find out what was said I will post it.
Originally Posted By: Matt-14
How does your W feel about you reading these books?
Thats an interesting question Matt. I don't really know the answer to it. I guess in the scheme of things I am worried about looking in the mirror and fixing me. I really can't worry about what she thinks. I can only hope that she will look in the mirror and fix the things that she needs to fix, but I have no control over that.

Why did you ask that question?


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and the thing is through the crises we do fix us
maybe we thought we would help them--but its really about us
peace


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My dad went to see the Dr. yesterday, I was unable to go because the appointment got changed at the last minute and I could not juggle things at my business to be able to go. The results of the meeting are as follows. She felt that his reactions were better than 3 weeks ago. He thinking is a little clearer. He is not really making that much progress in standing up or moving his feet. So she is keeping him on the meds (Synamet) at the current dosage 1000mg/day. He will continue to get PT at home. The next appointment is for 10 weeks from now July 15.


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OP, Good to hear some positives with your dad. Thoughts and prayers going out for his continued improvement.

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As my reading continues: I am a little over halfway thru "Men in Midlife Crisis", by Jim Conway. It was written in 1978. I guess it is the basis for many things that are on this board. I found the part about the 6 stages of MLC, although I must admit that HB's rendition is much better than Conway's.

I just found this part that is interesting to me and maybe other men whose wive's are going thru this. I will quote

"The woman who has been anchored in her relationships with other people - her husband, her children her parents.
If she derives a great deal of her self esteem from these three sources, she will experience greater trauma through the two stress periods of her life. Her husband will be going thru his own MLC and will not be the stable person she counted on. Her children will be establishing their own identities and will need to break away from the close mother relationship. Her parents are in need of more care and , in some sense, the woman in mid-life becomes the responsible adult overseeing her parents in their later years."

"So her sense of worth must come from within. She should also see her value as something larger than a manager of the household."

I don't know how Conway managed to see my marriage in his book, but it is all written as if he knew.

I will have another quote in a few mins.


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Conway quoted psychologist Clifford Adams in what motivates men and woman in choosing a mate. In order from top to bottom.


MALE
Companionship
Sex
Love-affection-sentiment
Home & Family
A Help-Mate
Security

FEMALE
Love-affection-sentiment
Security
Companionship
Home & Family
Community acceptance
Sex

"Dr Adams concludes that this discrepancy cannot but lead to widespread dissatisfaction in marriage."

"Most couples have never considered if they are compatible from a need orientation. They conclude because they enjoy touching each, staring into each others eyes, bowling and making love they will have no problems with marriage."

So looking in to the mirror maybe this can help me and other to see what we need to really work on in our lives.

Last edited by OldPilot; 05/04/10 01:51 PM.

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