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#1912757 - 01/09/10 08:05 AM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: dolphin_05]
Sanderika Offline
Member

Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 761
Hi Cas,

Your memories won't go away, it's how you handle them in the present that matters.

You are doing fine. It will get easier. I think you are over the hardest part. Yes, it has been a long time coming. It could not have happened any other way for you (or me).

I am you in so many ways, I completely understand. My memories of the past do not creep in so much any more. I have made it a point to live in the present moment. I strive to leave the past in the past knowing full well I have learned volumns from my experience and am a better person now for having had to live it.

(((((Cas))))) I see you doing the same. This has made you wise.

Our futures hold so much promise. We are going to make fabulous friends (and lovers) to someone!!!!!

Like I say.....Onward and Upward!!!!!

Sanderika
_________________________
ME48/H48MLC
T 33y
M 28y
S16
OW 8/7/05
Bomb 8/16/05
Sep 9/05
H f'd D 10/3/08
D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09
D dismissed 2/5/10
H served me D papers again 9/4/10
D dismissed 9/26/11

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#1912986 - 01/09/10 06:33 PM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: Sanderika]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
I can feel the changes, Sanderika...I just feel so annoyed with myself for still caring for him and still hurting over the memories. I know I'm in a better place now than I was a year ago.

I am working hard trying to get a clear picture of my finances; my expenses etc and then I'll get legal advice. The business stuff is almost wrapped up so we can sort it all from then.

I need to determine if
1.I let him file for divorce if he ever does (then I am never knowing if or when it might come)

2. I file and have it sent to him (I'm showing some control of the situation; a 180 but could get him offside just before we consider financials. However financial aspect will get him offside anyway. Then I go to court.)

3. I approach him and we file together. This is my usual approach; fair and considered.

I am tired of the push and pull. I know that if we don't wrap it all up it will drag on forever and this is not good for me. I need to get off this rollercoaster. It was once said to me you're on a rollercoaster but H is not on it with you. Very true!

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#1921033 - 01/21/10 03:08 AM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: dolphin_05]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
Yesterday I went back to work after 7 weeks at home. When I reunited with my colleagues several commented that I looked really happy and relaxed which was funny because I felt quite tired and the break wasn't overly relaxing for me as I was stuck in a 'hot bed of emotion' as I cleaned through cupboards, sorted and threw out stuff and returned gear to H. Obviously this process was very healing because I am finally feeling contentment. Today as I was singing along to my ipod I realised, "Wow, I am actually happy!" It's not that I haven't had happy times lately but they've been overshadowed by the 'stuff' in my life. The happy times have been the special occasions, the family gatherings, the outings with friends. Today I'm just happy because I am; there's no reason.

H's trip to Fiji was hurtful but him not being around has been wonderful. I don't want him to return. I don't want to see him anymore. It's taken such a long time but I think I've finally got it, I mean really taken it on board and understood it. I am a wonderful person in my own right and I don't need H. Actually, I don't even know this man but what I do know of him I really don't like. There's no place for him in my life the way he is and probably no place in my life period.

I am even feeling excitement as I face this new year. This is my outlook for 2010 from a fb quiz I took;

2010 is a good time to travel and explore the world and for developing relationships with people from different backgrounds and cultures. This is also a good period for further study, training and developing faith and trust in the spiritual dimension of life. You may get an opportunity to teach, write or share important knowledge and information with others. Don't be pre-occupied with finding the perfect phrase or line, speak from your heart, let the spirit move you.

It really spoke to me as I am travelling and I am studying this year and I have reconnected with lots of friends from o/s lately.

I am doing lots for me. It's my 5 yr cancer anniversary. I have loads of friends and a wonderful family. I live comfortably. I have a fantastic job with a very understanding boss. Blessins are bountiful. It's my time and it's really exciting. This has been a journey but I finally feel I might be on the scenic route now!

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#1921046 - 01/21/10 05:55 AM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: dolphin_05]
Sanderika Offline
Member

Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 761
((((Cas))))

Absolutely beautiful!!!!!

You are 100% on track, my friend....it's a lovely new start.

You are ready. Enjoy travelling on "the scenic route", I believe you will find lots of new and wonderful treasures along the way, it's all about you.....it's about time!!!!

The "route" you are choosing will be right. Don't fear it, jump right in with both feet!!!! You got it going on now.....

I am so happy for you,

Sanderika
_________________________
ME48/H48MLC
T 33y
M 28y
S16
OW 8/7/05
Bomb 8/16/05
Sep 9/05
H f'd D 10/3/08
D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09
D dismissed 2/5/10
H served me D papers again 9/4/10
D dismissed 9/26/11

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#1922146 - 01/22/10 03:17 PM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: Sanderika]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
Yes, Sanderika. It's about me and it's about you, too!

(((((Sanderika)))))

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#1937958 - 02/13/10 04:37 PM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: dolphin_05]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
New phase; H spending lots of time with OW. Her kids staying at his place occasionally. Meanwhile his own kids getting very little time and attention. No contact with me at all. Perhaps the message is that he doesn't need us in any capacity now or perhaps he is really trying to see if it can work with OW in the long term.

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#1937964 - 02/13/10 04:45 PM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: dolphin_05]
Lost Rabbit Offline
Member

Registered: 08/26/09
Posts: 1317
Hi hun been thinking of you! Did you manage to get away for a bit?
_________________________
____________________________

W 47
H 47
M 24
T 30

Once lost but now found and happily married again!

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#1937969 - 02/13/10 04:51 PM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: Lost Rabbit]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
I've been thinking of you, too and just been reading your thread to catch up a little. Work has been super busy but I am going to Sydney with 4 girlfriends next weekend to see Wicked

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#1937975 - 02/13/10 04:58 PM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: dolphin_05]
Lost Rabbit Offline
Member

Registered: 08/26/09
Posts: 1317
Fantastic! S & GF have seen it several times and really loved the show, hope you have a great time..
_________________________
____________________________

W 47
H 47
M 24
T 30

Once lost but now found and happily married again!

Top
#2032839 - 07/05/10 10:31 PM Re: Blessings and Beginnings [Re: Lost Rabbit]
dolphin_05 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 1432
Long time since I've posted.......H and I have almost reached agreement on financial settlement. He is being very friendly and supportive, wondering if that's just because he wants me to sign on the dotted line!

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