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#1843340 - 09/23/09 04:18 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: GoBison]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
Would it hurt things to ask my W to either postpone the divorce proceedings for a couple of weeks to attend Retrauville or it may be possible to get into one this weekend. I had asked her to attend several months ago and she would not go. She will probably say no to going.
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

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#1843344 - 09/23/09 04:24 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: GoBison]
Stronger Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 986
Loc: Florida
In my state I have the option to respond with a request for court ordered counseling, or an extension with the express purpose to see if we could reconcile.
Is anything like that available to you?
_________________________
M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy

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#1843347 - 09/23/09 04:26 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: Stronger]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
It can only be filed by her as the petitioner.
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

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#1843392 - 09/23/09 05:06 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: GoBison]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
I emailed one of the local retro groups to see if they have an opening for this weekend if not the next one will be after the time the divorce would be final. I was thinkng of writing her and telling her

"We both know that our old marriage is over and neither of us want to go back to that marriage. However this is the biggest change that either of us will make in our lives and I would like to see if there is a chance to make a new and better marriage between us before we take this step. There is a weekend retro conference this weekend in xx. If we can not make that one the next one is in xy on 11/6. This weekend could help the both of is with some kind of closure as we will know that we made an attempt to work things out. I do not look at this weekend as a way to magically make things between us better but to give us a way to better communicateeven if that is just to split things up and taking care of the dogs. The weekend is put on by the church and a priest is present but it is presented by couples who have been where we are and tell their stories with no preaching on the churches stance. I will pay for the wekend out of proceeds from my share of things when they are split up. Let me know of yours thought."
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

Top
#1843410 - 09/23/09 05:27 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: GoBison]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
There is an opening for this weekend to Retro but need to get back with them as soon as possible.

Any thoughts on the above request to W.
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

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#1843449 - 09/23/09 05:56 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: GoBison]
volleydog Offline
Member

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 691
Loc: IN
I'm not sure this is the best advice but what do you have to lose by sending it? I think it is pretty well written and is to the point.

Quote:
This weekend could help the both of is with some kind of closure as we will know that we made an attempt to work things out.


I might take out this since she may already think she's made enough of an attempt.
_________________________
Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."




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#1843453 - 09/23/09 06:00 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: volleydog]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
I have not sent it yet but have taken out "as we will know that we made an attempt to work things out" I left the rest of the sentence in there.
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

Top
#1843454 - 09/23/09 06:00 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: volleydog]
Stronger Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 986
Loc: Florida
GB
What state are you in?
_________________________
M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy

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#1843455 - 09/23/09 06:00 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: Stronger]
GoBison Offline
Member

Registered: 09/19/06
Posts: 257
Minnesota
_________________________
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33

Top
#1843460 - 09/23/09 06:14 PM Re: Final countdown - papers are here [Re: GoBison]
Stronger Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 986
Loc: Florida
GB this is from your state's maintained Web site:

Subd. 2.Dispute over irretrievable breakdown.If one of the parties has denied under oath or affirmation that the marriage is irretrievably broken, the court shall consider all relevant factors, including the circumstances that gave rise to the commencement of the proceeding and the prospect of reconciliation, and shall make a finding whether the marriage is irretrievably broken.

A finding of irretrievable breakdown under this subdivision is a determination that there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation. The finding must be supported by evidence that (i) the parties have lived separate and apart for a period of not less than 180 days immediately preceding the commencement of the proceeding, or (ii) there is serious marital discord adversely affecting the attitude of one or both of the parties toward the marriage.

Based on number one, you could deny the marriage is irretrievably broken and request the court send you to marriage counseling and you pay for it, not the courts or your wife. Most courts believe it or not, will lean toward reconciliation. If you had children, you'd get it easy. But since you don't, this is a shot in the dark. Take it. Deny the marriage is broken and ask for the counseling.
_________________________
M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy

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