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Joined: Apr 2009
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Glad to read your last post - lots of good things!

My sister had a dog then she rescued two cats. I think the cats hid in her bedroom for two weeks before the ventured out. When the cats tangle with each other or the dog my sister gets out her spray bottle and gives them a squirt. They go running.

I always laugh when I watch all three of her animals interact. You can almost see the cats plotting against the poor dog and the dog falls for it EVERY time.

Joined: Sep 2009
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Found out W was released from the hospital. She's staying with her mother and will be continuing to recieve outpatient psychiatric care for a little while.


Age: 28
Wife's Age: 28
Relationship: 10 Years (dated on and off)
Married: Less than one year
Seperated: 1.75 years, finally served with D 4/30/2011
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 133
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UPDATE: W is still receiving outpatient care and has taken a leave of absence from work. Over the weekend I finally got some insight from her mouth directly into my ear for a change. She called me Friday night sounding very upset and distraught. She said she had cut her thigh. I stayed on the phone and talked to her until she started falling asleep.

Saturday night she invited me over to her place. We had a very nice conversation, laughed a lot, caught up, and I ended up spending the night with her. No love making, just emotionally supportive. There were indeed some nasty cuts on her thigh, and the door of her bathroom had been broken in and was hanging on one hinge. He place tells the story of a very sad situation, and it makes me wish there were more cautionary examples in our society about infidelity.

I've been good about maintaining my boundary of not caring to discuss OM. He did come up a few times only for her to say that most of what was upsetting her was things "I didn't want to hear about". She also let a few things slip about him that I did not respond to or pursue in conversation.

After cross examining the tidbits I heard from W with more solid info from our mutual friend, I've learned that OM is trying to make her mental breakdown about him. The two of them have had a few big fights and he's berated her for her behavior telling her things like "if you keep this up you'll go into the psyche ward and never come out!" He has also aledgedly quit her theater over a dispute about a playbill or something. Again, I'm not sure how seriously to take that. Knowing my W, quitting the theater could be the nail in the coffin of thier relationship (sad that his emotional abuse wasn't enough on its own.)

I've Emailed W and the director of the show going up next weekend and casually let them know that if they needed extra help I'd be happy to do tickets or concessions or something, but only if OM has really quit the theater. I know for a fact that without him they're short handed and his absence would make me and probably a few other people happy to help out. It's simple math to me, lose one lunatic and gain a handful of helpful responsible people. We'll see how that equation works out for my W...

I'm going to wear my pessimism goggles about this theater business though. My expectation is that OM, being unstable and immature will reverse his "I've quit the theater" drama and continue to aggravate things rather than offer real support and love for my W.

The good thing is the darkness and the distance between myself and W has lifted for now. She and I talked last night as well. A good casual conversation about this and that. I'm finding it easy to be supportive without having to say anything or react in any way to her dysfunctional relationship with OM and feel like my role as a good friend is exactly where I should be given her recent crisis.

In other news they play I'm involved in is going very well and my life continues to be quite pleasant.


Age: 28
Wife's Age: 28
Relationship: 10 Years (dated on and off)
Married: Less than one year
Seperated: 1.75 years, finally served with D 4/30/2011
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,064
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Wow. You are handling yourself very well in all this.

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Thanks Andabelle.

I definately think having taken the time to reevaluate and reorganize my life put me in a very good position to handle this situation. I no longer have the stresses of my 9-5 job. I'm occupying myself with things I have a passion for. My monthly expenses are way down. And I'll soon have money coming in that will keep me from depleting my savings even if it will be a fraction of what I used to make. I'm in good shape to sit tight and see how this plays out for a bit longer.

That's not to say it might not get worse before it gets better, but for now I'm okay. No matter what I always have the option of moving and divorcing. I definately feel for her situation, and I do still love her so I'm going to just sit tight and be her friend. If it's meant to be that will really mean something to her when all is said and done.


Age: 28
Wife's Age: 28
Relationship: 10 Years (dated on and off)
Married: Less than one year
Seperated: 1.75 years, finally served with D 4/30/2011
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