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BobbiJo #1878389 11/20/09 04:53 PM
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BBJ,

I am not sure that I see much good to be gained by me going. If I take a date, it could very well backfire when W sees it, or it could make her jealous. But it may not as I am not up to the prestige she seems to love. The lady I would take would be more beautiful than her and that would be the only thing I would have going for me.

However, if I go without a date, and I see W with OM, I think that would be a bit demoralizing to me.

And if I go with a date, it may further justify to W that she is in the clear to continue pursuing OM and not have a concious about it.

And then there is the Droid phone that I really want to get on Friday. It is much more awesome than my blackberry.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1878391 11/20/09 04:59 PM
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I agree Kevin, don't go if you don't want to. That wasn't really my point. It is just that sometimes you ask people to spell things out for you that it seems like you already understand....

No comments re. Boundaries??


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
BobbiJo #1878397 11/20/09 05:02 PM
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Quote:
It is just that sometimes you ask people to spell things out for you that it seems like you already understand....


I knew that SM was saying to go. I was just asking who he thought that sign might be coming from as I don't think God would send me on a date being married. That would be my own choice.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1878399 11/20/09 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted By: K4D


I am not sure that I see much good to be gained by me going. If I take a date, it could very well backfire when W sees it, or it could make her jealous. The lady I would take would be more beautiful than her.

And if I go with a date, it may further justify to W that she is in the clear to continue pursuing OM and not have a concious about it.



I think it would do you a lot of good to go Kevin, specifically, with a date. You would have fun, you could interact with your date and others, etc.. How could it backfire? Your wife doesn't need any justification to continue with her actions...she's been doing it despite everything that you have done. So what if it makes her jealous? She's cheated on you, admittedly, with several men now for a long time. You would have a lot more going for you than just your date being more 'hot' than your wife! It would do you, your confidence, and your self-worth some good.

Your wife already believes that she's in the clear to continue her actions...she's been doing it for a long time now, and with multiple men! NOTHING you do at this point is going to justify to her that it's OK to keep doing what she's been doing for a long time with different men! She's already OK with what she's doing...obviously.

You have NOTHING to lose by taking that 'hot' date...and you have a lot to gain by doing it.


ps - I'm on your side.


"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
antlers #1878403 11/20/09 05:05 PM
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I agree. Take a date. Have fun.

K4D #1878414 11/20/09 05:14 PM
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Originally Posted By: K4D
Quote:
It is just that sometimes you ask people to spell things out for you that it seems like you already understand....


I knew that SM was saying to go. I was just asking who he thought that sign might be coming from as I don't think God would send me on a date being married. That would be my own choice.

Kevin


a sign from people that have realized that you have stagnated long enough and its time to take charge of the rest of your life.

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you have stagnated long enough and its time to take charge of the rest of your life.


It feels that way sometimes.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1878443 11/20/09 05:40 PM
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So I went to dinner with a friend last night and I start talking to the 2 waitresses. My friend looks at me and starts laughing and tells me I am such a natural flirt.

I guess I hadn't really thought about it as I just enjoy talking to people where ever I am at.

But I guess I am friendly and it can be taken that way. I always ask people about themselves.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1878448 11/20/09 05:44 PM
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Will W be there with a date? I don't know Kevin...are you strong enough to handle seeing that? Some people can. I don't think I could. Sure your date may be hot etc, but in the end its not where your heart is and its gonna show on your face. I think its a scene waiting to happen.


Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
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Will W be there with a date? I don't know Kevin...are you strong enough to handle seeing that? Some people can. I don't think I could. Sure your date may be hot etc, but in the end its not where your heart is and its gonna show on your face. I think its a scene waiting to happen.


My assumption is always that my W will be with her date. She claims she is going as this womans date and is only going with her family because they are going. Then Sunday she claims that she is going to the Dallas Cowboys game with her sister in law who lives an hour and a half away. She says she got free tickets to the Cowboys game through someone she knows and that her sister in law is a huge Cowboys fan. Being that I know her sister in law, unless she has really changed in past years, she is not a huge football fan at all.

I take anything W says as false unless proven otherwise.

Yes, I am sure that if I see my W with a date, it would probably show in my own disapointment. I wouldn't create a scene. But it probably would show even with a date because you are right about where my heart is.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
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