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#1851546 - 10/07/09 01:28 AM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: jon2911]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
Thanks Jon2911,

I am keeping at it.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1851685 - 10/07/09 10:28 AM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
Goodfight Offline
Member

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 737
Loc: PA
Kevin,

Long time I haven't heard from you. Just wanted to say I'm proud of you for going to C. Not too many men would do it. You are in my prayers.

Lost
_________________________
M 41
H 35
D 12
S 18
Separated 11/08

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#1851688 - 10/07/09 10:29 AM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: Goodfight]
Goodfight Offline
Member

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 737
Loc: PA
Oh have an update on my sitch. If you get a chance could you drop over and give me some advice. Thanks

Lost
_________________________
M 41
H 35
D 12
S 18
Separated 11/08

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#1851697 - 10/07/09 10:46 AM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: Goodfight]
C-Bart Offline
Member

Registered: 07/30/09
Posts: 882
Loc: Missouri
Kevin,
Also wanted to congratulate you on the big step to IC. Hope you get as much out of it as I have.
_________________________
_________________________
Me-41
W-39
M-15 yrs T-17 yrs
D-12
S-9
S-8
B 5/08
S 1/09

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#1851748 - 10/07/09 12:05 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: C-Bart]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
Thanks all,

I am working it. And it is work. But it is starting to come along. I am realizing that I don't have to stay in this ridiculous state any longer and there are things I can do to make a better life for me.

Lost, I posted on your thread.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1851769 - 10/07/09 12:24 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
Goodfight Offline
Member

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 737
Loc: PA
Thanks Kevin. I wrote some more to get your and anyone's advice on what to do when H contacts. I paid for 3 sessions months ago with Jody and she was great but now finances are really bad so I can't call her anymore.

Coaches are great and so is everyone on this site.
_________________________
M 41
H 35
D 12
S 18
Separated 11/08

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#1851779 - 10/07/09 12:36 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: Goodfight]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
You can do it. Just remember it takes real hard effort on your part each day. You have to put in the effort. There is no question but that it is work. I am now starting to see what people mean about putting the work in. It is work mentally and emotionally to not let yourself stay stuck in a depressed hopeless state. You really have to focus and that is work. If you don't, you stay stuck and in misery. You can do it. I am having to and it is working and will work.

A friend of mine that I pretty much lost told me they didn't want to hang out with me this past Saturday night and that I needed to spend that time working on me. So I went clothes shopping and got some new things I liked that I look better in. I started cleaning up my apartment and making it look nice the way I liked. I just focused on me Saturday and I felt better after. I thought to myself, I can do this. I can spend time by myself and be productive and appreciate what I was able to do. It took mental effort, but I did it. And I am trying to apply that effort each day now.

It will take work to not fall into that trap of "WO is me". But after a while, it will be natural to look to the positive side of life and do for yourself and be happy.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

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#1851960 - 10/07/09 04:11 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
K4D Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/08
Posts: 3975
Ok,

So some 180's I am making for myself...

Going to C and doing the homework.
Not letting what is going on in my W's life affect me now and keep me down.
Focusing on work, kids, and my home.
Dressing myself to bring back some sex appeal.
Making myself more confident. Thinking positively instead of negatively.
Spending some time alone to figure out I can be productive and happy doing things on my own.
Getting my hair cut tonight.
I might go hang out with friends and I might not tonight. I haven't decided. There isn't a necessity to do it.
Keeping myself up better.
Trying to look at myself as it is W's loss.
Realizing I am worth something.
Not sitting around being unproductive and depressed.
My responses to W are pretty much one or two words now when she texts me.
My focus is really coming into play now on myself and my work and my kids.
I am looking at what I can do to enjoy myself if things don't go as planned with different things.

Just some things I am doing differently now.

Kevin
_________________________
Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...

Top
#1852194 - 10/07/09 11:12 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
ppenton Offline
Member

Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 590
Loc: Illinois
Kev, here is something I thought you'd like

Momentum:

I have the support I need to succeed. Many worthwhile endeavors are not completed quickly, but rather take time. I know that each experience I have builds on something I have learned or experienced in the past. It's as though I'm building a life brick by brick. The decisions I make and the lessons I learn may seem to result in only small steps forward. But with each one, I build momentum toward the accomplishment of my goals.
Whether I'm following an exercise program, learning a new skill or developing a savings plan, the creation process is a spiritual one. I rely on God for help, support and guidance. I trust the creative process, knowing that I have the strength, will and energy I need to succeed.

"Be strong and courageous ... for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."--Joshua 1:9
_________________________
Me-44
WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY)
S-16
S-14
M-10/17/1992 T23
Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09
Me stronger and happier everyday!

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#1852200 - 10/07/09 11:20 PM Re: K4D Rising #4 [Re: K4D]
antlers Offline
Member

Registered: 03/28/09
Posts: 3041
Originally Posted By: K4D
Ok,

So some 180's I am making for myself...

Going to C and doing the homework.
Not letting what is going on in my W's life affect me now and keep me down.
Focusing on work, kids, and my home.
Dressing myself to bring back some sex appeal.
Making myself more confident. Thinking positively instead of negatively.
Spending some time alone to figure out I can be productive and happy doing things on my own.
Getting my hair cut tonight.
I might go hang out with friends and I might not tonight. I haven't decided. There isn't a necessity to do it.
Keeping myself up better.
Trying to look at myself as it is W's loss.
Realizing I am worth something.
Not sitting around being unproductive and depressed.
My responses to W are pretty much one or two words now when she texts me.
My focus is really coming into play now on myself and my work and my kids.
I am looking at what I can do to enjoy myself if things don't go as planned with different things.

Just some things I am doing differently now.

Kevin



Yo Kevin.

These are good, man! You sound strong and resolute right now. Keep it up...no matter what!
_________________________
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.

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