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Joined: Oct 2009
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the message of DBing IS a good one
I think sometimes that message gets skewed

like people are DBing for the wrong reasons

they stop when they don't get what they want immediately

or they give great lip service without doing the work

you know

words are great
but you have to believe them in your heart of hearts

there is a faking until you make it

DBing is ultimately for ourselves
to grow
to learn to pick our battles
to love more completely

I was talking with a friend about how painful it is to read our beginnings
how almost embarassing
how fresh from the package we were
how we thought we had grown a lot
but looking back we were still younglings
how everyday we learn
we grow
we are tough adn strong and better than we ever were

that is what DBing is

it is not having all the right words
or
being a warrior
or a survivor

it is about living
living well
loving true

joy

none of us will ever be 100%
if we were
why would we continue to strive

there is no perfection
there is only
humanity

figgeroni #1888844 12/08/09 02:54 PM
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Hey Pirate.....

I agree with what you are saying........but only to a certain point.

I agree with Figgy more ( although she was kinda hard to read, with being all grammatically correct and all :p )

DB'ing is about us being the best we can be , and I know you know this too.

There comes a time through all of this where posting CAN keep the LBS stuck. We look back one day and realize that , not only are we standing, we are standing still. Not moving in any specified direction except the one that keeps us in quicksand.

This doesn't mean that we are necessarily doing that, only that we FEEL that way. And what is in our heads is way different than reality in most cases.

Each of us have walked a very different path together, yet alone -as a good friend told me -( no nickel, credit given):o

Each of us "process" things uniquely, and in our own time.

Each of us eventually lays down the sword in our own way and perserveres on our own course through the trials and tribulations of this crazy life we lead.

Does it make us bad ?

No.....Just real.

NOT posting may actually mean that we are out trying to fullfill our lives with culture, taking chances , doing something new, and thriving-not just surviving.

Eventually, most of us ALL come back here...most with a new outlook on life.

Look at all of the "new" threads from "old" posters recently....(although we like the abuse...????)

There are two ways to let our wayward spouses go.....one is with anger and a FU on the way out....

The second is with Love and understanding...

The second one is why us "old timers" with some sense of self seem to find our way back here. The ones that don't come back ? Well, maybe that is for the best......

Bitterness and anger are not close friends of letting go with love.....

The difference, at least to me, is doing the work........

I, for one, am a work in process, neverending, and striving to be better everyday.

Myself and my children are worth that...

Mach1 #1888860 12/08/09 03:08 PM
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Mach,

Welcome back.



"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
cat04 #1888878 12/08/09 03:36 PM
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Back ?

Never really gone.....

Just in a supervisor-induced retirement :p

Kinda like the Pirate and the Alt.....

Thank you though.....

Mach1 #1889183 12/08/09 08:28 PM
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Mach,
Do all 'oldtimers' get poetic when they come back? :-D

Well, speaking as a semi-'newbie', I appreciate the return of posters who have been through this MLC crap and thrived for providing wonderful input, advice and perspective..and poetry!


M44 H46 T21 Married 16y
D14 D12
Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09
Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09
Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce
Divorce final 6/30/10.




Mach1 #1889233 12/08/09 09:08 PM
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I have to agree with every single word Mach just said. Sometimes we just need a break from here.

But I've come to realize in recent days, we do need to COME BACK and offer our insight and let others learn from our experience because while each is so very different there are soooo many similarities.

Plus, I really missed you buttholes.


M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy
Stronger #1889244 12/08/09 09:15 PM
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Originally Posted By: Stronger
Plus, I really missed you buttholes.


Yeah I miss Mach too. grin


Don't stand still.
fisherman #1889281 12/08/09 10:00 PM
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Originally Posted By: trapt


Yeah I miss Mach too. grin




That's how I know, Chili boy.....

Mach1 #1889300 12/08/09 10:28 PM
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Jack,

You OK?


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Drew #1889335 12/08/09 11:16 PM
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F-ing swamped at work today. : ) Seriously. 5 hours for a report people are going to look at for maybe...a minute.

I agree and disagree with the comments made above.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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