Newbie (again)

[karen43]

So sorry to hear you're having health issues!!! I hope you can find out exactly what they are. I do think they could be caused by stress. The custody stuff is beyond stressful. It's so frustrating having the kids go through stuff that you would never have done pre-D, and you can't change it b/c of courts/lawyers or whatever. I keep thinking though that if we go on doing the right things that everything will work out ok!!! Like instead of a nasty XW, in future you're going to have a wonderful W who will appreciate, love and adore you! And not be so stressful...

[dday101798]

Thanks,

I was fairly certain going into the ER this had to be related to the latest series of events in this whole mess. It only made sense. At this point, it doesn't seem anything major. But, I will say, the ER staff was not very attentive of my stressing the D situation. Thus, Mish, I wouldn't be at all surprised if it's the same thing.

Man, I just hate how you can get all the up to cloud 9 and stay there, longer and longer each time, and than in a heartbeat your satanic X's filthy hands knock you right down.

And do I give I really care of X's reaction or concern, no.

But, at least I finally took charge of the situation and made all my follow up appointments and all, so we'll see what happens. I'd think at the follow up, they'd be a little more receptive to my thoughts of it all being stress based, we'll see.

I just simply can't believe that XW would go so far as to coninually rub my face in S12's adoption, what a B. But apparently, that is button she can push and it does make me go over the deep end, so I'll have to find a way to deactivate that button. Actually, think I just did, not a very 'happy' deactivation method, but it is what it is.

Going to try and make every effort to avoid her tonight at the kids curriculumn night for school. That is for sure.

[dday101798]

So, events that sent the frnzy in motion:

1-my bank sux, no questions about it.

2-as I pull up to "XW's house" to pick up boys Friday, OM has his grubby head stuffed under the hood of a car we received as from her father "get it started it's yours". I spent 4 years working the thing over and the rest of the years waiting for her to finish her end (the interior) of whcich she never did.

3-XW makes it a point to try and piss me off with a b/s attitude, then make a comment about the car. All I could say was 'that's fine, it'll end up like the rest, dead covered in dust sitting on the street'.

4-At dinner S11 begins to complain about a incodent with OM in which hurt him physically. I verify several times with S11, were you playing and it got out of hand? He said no. So, silly me jumps on the phone, hashes out the event with XW, of course ends with getting no-where and that OM needs to keep his damn hands off the kids.

From there Xw tries to call back twice for more, I reject, hence her and OM do a drive by and give us all retarted looks. Both S's stated how childish and disrespectful that was on there own.

5-S11 says to keep an eye on XW and the downstate move: "she's up to something, and you're not going to like it".

6-The fact that both boys DID NOT want to return to her Sunday night. They were so conent with each other for once. They sat in the same room for hours Saturday and did not get on each other's nerves but once. Clearly, they needed space and security. Kind of bites, took away from our time, but, they were happy, and that's all that matters.

7-The what ever the heck happened Sunday night. It was so bad I don't even remember the details of what happened. S11 made some kind of comment reminding, that's it reminding XW that he NEEDED a physical by the end of the day Monday or he was getting kicked out of school. At the point, all hell broke lose and next thing I knew I was consoling S12 (and S11 for bits at a time) for that erie 1 & 1/2 hours that life will get better, things will improve. And that his father loves him (them), and suredly their mother as well loves them.

From that point, I only remember it took me 12 minutes of the normal half an hour it does for me to drive home. And I barely remember any of it. I sat outside with my cousin and cried it all out after being so strong for them, but still only remmeber bits and peices of it.

Heck, I barely remember half of what I had posted on here yesterday morning. So not good. What was it someone said recently, it's like a Satruday hangover on Monday morning. Completely crazy.


Speaking of Saturday's, that was our respite of the weekend, the kids had a blast at the festival. We went on rides, then the band, S11 kept going on more rides, S12 REALLY enjoyed the show once he got into the music, and some lady kept giving my cousin and I free jello shots. We took the train, so there was plenty of time to have fun and rock out and it was all safe. Nice way to say goodbye to summer.

[dday101798]

Ok, definately stress realted, balanced my checkbook from the ER charges and am once again broke with a week and a half to go before payday and my arm is stinging like a mother now.

Great, how am I going to do curriculumn night? I'm supposed to avoid stressful situations and I'm already about to break down?

Just when I get ahead, or think I do, bam! right backdown you go.

[NoCodeBlues]

Praying for ya', bro. Hang in there.

[karen43]

Me too. Hope all goes well. One thing I've learned is we are way stronger than we think we are....

[dday101798]

Thanks,

She didn't even show! Or atleast she didn't show for S11's which is the one to watch. S12 has the same teacher since he started the school 3 years ago being it's the special needs class. I had no idea that the night would be 9 minutes in each period simulating the kids school day, so I was locked into S11's routine. I figured I could catch up with S12's teacher afterward, but will e-mail her this morning as the room was empty by the time I got there.

Getting through that unscaved and stocking up on some 'get-by' groceries helped restore some PMA as I might just squeze by til the next check.

I'm gonna have to start doing alot of proof reading before hitting the "submit" button, every key stroke with my left hand feels like there's sewing pins coming out of the key board into my fingers. Shoulder feels like it's been hit by a gorilla, which is new, better than numb? I don't know.

But at least now I know my stress should go down as I have no reason to deal with XW for a week and a half. That's a relief. I do question why she didn't go though. I would figure since most of S12's classes were with the same teacher she'd just get the skinny all at once at catch up with S11's teachers. That did make me mad though that the school gave no thought to 'single' parents with kids in different grades, I questioned it and the principle said they didn't give it much thought. Meh well. But now I really question what S11 meant when he said "watch mom, she's up to something".

[mishka422]

The shoulder sounds similar to what I experienced when the nerves stopped tingling. It's like all the residual pain from that concentrated into one area. Could be a good thing.

As far as the school.....honestly, how involved in both of their schooling has she been in the past? Was she only there because you took her along? When she went did she as clear, leading questions of the teachers? Did she take notes?

If she wasn't involved before, why would she be now?

My son's school does the same thing as far as rotating in 9 minute intervals with 5 minutes between to dash to their next class. Considering how huge my son's school is that was quite a challenge! His dad didn't bother showing up either, but I really didn't expect him to since he wasn't ever involved in his learning experience.

Stay as involved as you can. Be 'the man'! The more ineracation you an have in their daily lives the better. If it comes down to a revised custody agreement then you will have all of this to back it up!

[dday101798]

Hi Mish,

Actually, she was highly involved in the kids schooling as my work schedule and my own schooling at the time they entered school disallowed me to make most of the functions. So I never really fully understood how S12's program worked until last year when I stepped up to the plate.

I will be emailing S12's teacher and all of S11's teachers as I had indicated yesterday to keep me informed at least on a bi-weekly basis of progress and issues, and especially any issues that involve communication from home that goes unanswered. Thtat worked pretty well last year, and did give me a leg up towards potentially winning custody even with just the e-mails to show as the school administration elects to not become in volved with doestic disputes unless a child is endangered emotionally or physically.

A revised custody agreement appears to be getting closer and closer so I'm starting to watch my arse. I'm seriously contemplating officially requesting that the pickup and drop arrangements be adheared to or revised as I no longer feel it is healthy for me to be around her blasted house. But, then again, if she moves away, she's responsible for full transport any how, but I don't want that douchebag of OM any where near where I live, so that's a problem. For now, my cousin has offered to drop them off (my portion of the agreement) on Sunday's to help eliviate some of the problem.

[dday101798]

Just a random journaling I guess:

NICE queit night to calm the nerves, al beit a simple light bulb change turned in to a situation with a improperly mounted light that almost burned the house down. Thank goodness I didn't listen to my cousin and let her pick up bulbs while she was at work and replace them today. Felt good tho to get back into the swing of things. Haven't had the 'urge' to do anything repair wise and when I had to, couldn't think of the way to properly get the job done, this time, I was on top of it. Was kind of difficult having control of 1 hand and 1 and a 3rd arms, but, none the less.

Zero contact from boys, uggh. Surprisingly more so, I forgot to mention, Saturday night I bumped into the female friend that XW simply despises and gets her jealous kick over when I was out with the kids.

After getting the job done last night and peace and quiet, a little more PMA resotred, but I think it's going to take some outside help to finally get going with life. I need to make some serious changes healthwise and mentally. People are wanting to go do this and that this weekend. Me, I just want to relax and do not much of anything. Do some yard work and what not and just chill. And of course everyone else says "oh, that's not good for you, you'll just get dragged again". ummm no. I need to do this. I know what's going with me is no "pinched nerve". So some rest, relaxation and restoration is what this doctor is ordering.

Hell the scary part, as much as love a cold beer, I've had zero desire for any. Just had my customary couple that I barely finished the other night, and same last night with a 'victory dance' one after repairing the electrical issue.