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#1782306 - 06/12/09 03:33 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: mishka422]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
I can also make it ecofrendly.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1782499 - 06/12/09 07:29 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
So, slap in the face for XW, free ride is over, benefits cut off.

called her and left a voice mail as directed in the settlement agreement, she's got health coverage til the end of the month and a package on COBRA info will be sent out in a week or so for her to decide what to do.

She did call back right away, but I was ordering my lunch which was a little more important to me. Didn't leave a message which is her way of saying she's upset. Sorry hon, but you should of thought of that BEFORE living in adultrey and then filing for divorce.

EDIT- I need a drink

_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1782557 - 06/12/09 08:34 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9692
Loc: GA
Pour me one too!

So she's upset? Wwwaaaaahhhhh....she filed, she wanted all this, she thought she would continue to get a free ride? WRONG!

Reality is a b*tch!
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


Top
#1782571 - 06/12/09 08:53 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: mishka422]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Oh, like I said, she went ballistic after court when I asked her for her new adress so that I can update beneficiary info for the kids and she looks and sasy "I'm not a beneficiary any more?" Ummm, DUH! HELLO!! The only inhertiance in the future for you tutz is a STD courtesy of OM and your 'open' relationship!

So yeah, she needs a binky and bottle. i just need a cold one laugh
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1782583 - 06/12/09 09:13 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9692
Loc: GA
So get one buddy! smile
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


Top
#1782585 - 06/12/09 09:18 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Since I'm not sure how many folks are up to my sitch from the other threads lingering around the boards, a little over a month ago I ran into an old 'crush' from back in the high school era but a relation was not really an option at the time (20 years ago).

She too is divorced and has been a great help in the final hours.

Subsequently, interests sparked and we've gone a few dates and really have a good time and mesh well.

Anyway, we have a 'date day' tomorrow and I'm very much looking forward to it.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1782588 - 06/12/09 09:19 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9692
Loc: GA
AWESOME! Have a fun time, just know that it's fun only....no rushing anything. You need lots of time to heal properly.
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


Top
#1782592 - 06/12/09 09:24 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: mishka422]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Oh of course no rushing, I made it plain and simple that I DO NOT want this to be a rebound.

Due to financial constraints and living arrangements on both sides, there is plenty of time ahead before ANYTHING serious can ensue. But the future is bright an dI'm healing every day laugh

But given there's history, it's naturaly open to more than 'fun only'.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1783480 - 06/15/09 02:48 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Day 6 and still going strong, sort of.

Mixed bag of a weekend. "Date day" over all went very well while it lasted. Went on the boat tours and all over Navy Pier, for those not familiar with Chicago, it's kind of like a mall/year round nieghborhood fest. Has a really tall ferris wheel which we did go on, and I'm afraid of heights so that wasn't all that fun for me.

Anyway, we spent all day walking around holding hands and being openly affectionatae which was great as XW wouldn't for what 12 years and always said I was "crowding her". Finished the night off with the fireworks show and had a rather inconvenient commute back to our cars, but it the end it all worked out.

Then there's the problems. As I said, we have a bit of history as said, and bringing things up to a dating level have been going on for a couple of months now. Well, turns out the D has taken a unexpected toll on me that I have to figure out and now I have intimacy issues, great.

Then there's the other problem. We mesh very very well as we both are divorced and know what it's like to be treated like junk, her XH cheated on her multiple times even after she tried to give him one more chance several years ago. As a result of that one more chance, they live together in a seperated state due to finances. She is actively looking to move out at the moment. i have voiced openly I am not comfortable with that arrangement and she has stepped up the search for a place of her own. But, Saturday her XH was supposed to have a day with their kids, instead he dumped them off on a friend and stayed home. When she and I parted after getting off the train, we both agreed to text each other when we got home ok, it was 1:30 in the morning so the drunks were out and all. No sooner than when I got home and sat down for a smoke and a long awaited beer, she texted she was home, good night. I texted back, I'm home too and wanted to talk about how embarresed I was finding out the unexpected intimacy issue. She replied, "I'm going to bed please don't text me any more tonight".

[insert screaching tires and collision noise please]

RED FLAG!

That request has NEVER been made and my phone bill is a mess because I went way over on plan from texting back and forth all night long. So why all the sudden the kids aren't there and it's just them, living in a seperated state and now I can't text her? This did not sit well.

THEN, yesterday as I'm having my coffee she sends her usual morning greeting and I just reply that I'm just getting up and feel blah, can we please talk later. She says sure and have a great day. i had to replace the starter in my cousin's van later on and she had texted several times just to say hi and what not. Then all of the sudden "Me,XH and kids are at the pool" don't text me in case he picks up my phone".

Oh hell no! Now I can handle that if he were to see something it would create an issue and she'd be out in the street or something. But I voiced my displeasure later on and that excuse wasn't even offered up. Something is seriously rotten in Denmark there. I basically put it out on the table that this isn't right, it's very simple math and I did not appreciate being "coded out". If you two were seperated and he goes out and sleeps with other people all the time, why should it matter anyway?!?!

I kept it out of arguement stage, but none the less damage is done. She didn't even send her usual good morning message this morning, and I broke the ice with 'good morning, hope you have a nice day', all she replied was "u2", I said 'good band at one point' and haven't heard from her since.

Sooooo, yeah, not good.

And such is life.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

Top
#1783517 - 06/15/09 03:28 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
mishka422 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9692
Loc: GA
OUCH!

Living together even in a separated state is still...in the end....still M'd! Extricate ASAP! You're asking for a ton of BS to fall on you brother.

LOVE Navy Pier. Loads of fun.
_________________________
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!


Top
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