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#1892325 - 12/12/09 08:45 AM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: Butterfly1]
givingitmyall Offline
Member

Registered: 05/20/09
Posts: 3844
Loc: Southeast
Quote:
I have been thinking about seeing a dr. about panic attacks. I've never in my life had them like this. I must say it's bizarre. I had a melt down last month too - and ever since, I"ve just been feeling panic attacks - usually around H showing up, occasionally just thinking and worrying about the whole sitch.

Shakey, headaches, nausea, vomitting, and it's so weird. It must be emotional, but it feels like it's out of control - like some bug is making me freak out. So, as much as I hate meds, it may be all I can do at this point.


Hope, please see someone about this. There is NO shame in getting help for a VERY difficult situation. You need to be at your best to attack this challenge.
_________________________
Me 43, S11, D7
M13
Bomb 4/20/09
Current

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#1892349 - 12/12/09 10:03 AM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: Butterfly1]
Day by Day Offline
Member

Registered: 09/13/09
Posts: 413
Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
I've found this great transcript of a radio show - this couple has been through hell and back and they are good at detailing many of their tips for success - guess what - they are so similar to DB!

Hope you like it...
http://www.globaltalkradio.com/shows/lovesafetynet/transcript11.php


Hope, thanks for sharing this! This was very insightful about dealing with a narcassist. I got a lot out of this transcript. It is similar to DBing, but I guess hearing it presented another way and from a couple helped me understand even more. It is all about not being needy and putting up boundaries.
_________________________
M40, H39
M17 T20
D13, S12
H moved out 05/09
D filed 1/10

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#1892438 - 12/12/09 01:27 PM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: Day by Day]
Butterfly1 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/18/09
Posts: 1836
Loc: California
Speaking of not being needy =- man do I miss H this morning. Could be the cold weather, with nobody to cuddle up with. How crazy am I that I'm traumatized one day by his presence, then the next day I miss him? Please support me to not call him and say I miss him. I must be losing my mind!
_________________________
Me: 42
Him: 43

Two divorcees in a relationship

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#1892443 - 12/12/09 01:32 PM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: givingitmyall]
Butterfly1 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/18/09
Posts: 1836
Loc: California
GIMA, thank you. I will.
_________________________
Me: 42
Him: 43

Two divorcees in a relationship

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#1892444 - 12/12/09 01:33 PM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: Butterfly1]
givingitmyall Offline
Member

Registered: 05/20/09
Posts: 3844
Loc: Southeast
Hope,

GET BUSY. What can you do around the house or town? Clean the house, vacuum, go exercise. Anything. Just occupy yourself.
_________________________
Me 43, S11, D7
M13
Bomb 4/20/09
Current

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#1892451 - 12/12/09 01:45 PM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: Butterfly1]
sandi2 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 10897
I was an almost WAW who was in an EA. I had had years of a bad MR (no abuse, but no intimacy or conversation, etc.). We had had so much family problems down through the years and then I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.

The years I spent trying to get help with different doctors would take too long to tell. The Fibro is very painful but and stems from over stressed nerve...something or another (too complicated to explain). Anyway, I had been on a lot of different AD's b/c of depression. My job stress was killing me! At one time, the doctors had me so over-dosed that I couldn't get out of bed! Then, they took me off of everything at one time instead of tapering it off. That is when I almost went bonkers. But, I refuse to use that for my "crutch" for having an EA. It would take too many pages to relate everything about why, how, etc. But, to make a long shorter, I never walked away and I stopped contact with OM and my H and I are together. That is the good news.

It was still some time before I found a doctor who would treat me for hormone replacement thereapy. That was another "gift" from mother nature that I forgot to add.....menopause! When I was a girl, I would hear stories from my grandmother about how "crazy" some women got when the change of life hit. Now, I know!

So, anyway, I finally got on AD's that actually worked for me and with the help of the hormones, I was doing a lot better. Still have the pain, fatigue, etc. But I think it was from my work related stress and feeling that nobody there appreciates me or even tries to be compassionate (or even believe me) regarding my illness. Some people can make you feel pretty low ....like you are experiencing with H.

I was very surprised when I had my melt-down at the doctor's office. I was in so much physical pain that was working on my nervous system.....and was waiting in the room for him to see me. It seemed as if the air was just sucked out of the room and I couldn't breathe. I left out heading for the outside. The nurse looked at me funny and I told her I had to get outside for air. Then the doctor came out to find me and I was embarrassed b/c people were coming by staring. By the time he got me back inside, I felt almost disoreinted. Then my emotions overtook me and I started crying. It was all "nerves". Had nothing to do with my M, but the fact that I feel so stressed out at work. You know how it is when a bunch of women work in a close space!

When I was in my WAW mode, the type of attacks I had then was more of a wanting to "flight" thing. I would get up out of a class or wherever I was....and leave!

So, I don't know if there is a one size answer to it, but I do believe it has to do with our nervous system and something that is out of our control.......and that is why it feels so scary! We feel everyting is out of our control. We don't understand what is happening at that precise moment and why our bodies seem to have a mind of its own.

There are meds designed for panic attacks and I think you you really need to get that. I heard of one lady who would have them ever so often at her job, and would just have to leave until it passed. I don't think it is something that will stay with you forever, but is a result of your body reacting to stress.

Sorry if I have repeated anything I had already told you. I feel for you, even if our stories may vary......I know what you experience is very scary. You can't opperate under that situation, so please go to your doctor about it, okay?

Let me know.
_________________________
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!

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#1892594 - 12/12/09 06:15 PM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: givingitmyall]
Butterfly1 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/18/09
Posts: 1836
Loc: California
GIMA, thank you. The main thing that helps is gettin gout of the house. I am an at home mom and when S is in school, I tend to get depressed, obsessed, mulling about, even when I have home projects.

Today, when I was missing H, I just got me and S out of the house and visiting my aunt who I love dearly. We are having a lovely time. It helps distract from the pain.

I'm also trying to mentally stay strong like I was a couple weeks ago = instead of missing him (eweak). I am reminding myself (Can't believe I have to remind myself) of his abusive nature and that I"m probably better off without him.
_________________________
Me: 42
Him: 43

Two divorcees in a relationship

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#1892599 - 12/12/09 06:26 PM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: Butterfly1]
Butterfly1 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/18/09
Posts: 1836
Loc: California
Sandi = thank you! I"m so sorry you went through all that. How frightening. My situation doesn't nearly seem so bad! For me it's emotional stress, but you're right, I need to get over my shame in asking for help. I'm also very sensitive to medication, and I"m nervous abou getting that "drugged up" feeling. (On my wedding day, I took one atavan, and I don't remember a thing - after my cesarian with my S, I took no pain pills besides really strong advil -).
_________________________
Me: 42
Him: 43

Two divorcees in a relationship

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#1892605 - 12/12/09 06:38 PM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: Butterfly1]
sandi2 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 10897
You may be thinking of seditives, which do make some people feel drugged out. AD's are not suppose to make you feel that way. They are suppose to make you feel "normal", if you are taking the right kind, dosage, etc. Tell your doctor that your body is sensitive to mediation. Also....some people's body's respond in almost the opposite way to whatever it is the meds are suppose to do. In other words, my mother may try to take some OTC pm meds but it keeps her awake instead of helping her sleep. If you go to a new doctor, just be sure to discuss any concerns you have.

I'll always remember what a doctor told me one time......."Everybody needs help with something--sometime in there life. There is no shame in taking medication to get better, but it's a shame if we do not try to do anything about it". I will never forget that. He also went on to tell me, "Sandi, there is no disgrace in a Christian taking AD's". I appreciated him telling me that, b/c my church had went through this phase of teaching, "Smile, God love you" and if you believe then you shouldn't have any problems. Guess we all were raised with some things to overcome in our thinking. wink

Do you have a close friend who you can talk to? I don't know that it helps with panic attacks, but I feel that everyone needs somebody to talk to about personal things. I guess I would burst if I couldn't talk to somebody!
_________________________
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!

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#1892646 - 12/12/09 08:06 PM Re: I'm new wondering if this works... [Re: sandi2]
Butterfly1 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/18/09
Posts: 1836
Loc: California
Thank you = what are "AD"'s? I am interested to know so that I can speak with my dr. next week. Thank you so much =- this is all new to me and I do need help.
_________________________
Me: 42
Him: 43

Two divorcees in a relationship

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