You make her the villian of your life and of your girls' lives
by making her the villian you give her loads of power
you can listen but it feels like you almost enjoy the connection that this commiserating brings
dangerous road you are not their friend you are their dad
encourage them to talk to their mom about the issues they have with their mom
because I am sure there are issues they have with you that they don't talk to you about but that they talk to their mom about
the only hero and the only villian in your story
should be yourself
Kudos for a well written piece, as were so many, e.g., Ian's and Kerry's....you are getting good advice from men here Frank. Listen to them. They've been where you are now but they got better.
Also, "Victory" in these situations is not determined by how happy or miserable your xw is, but how you are doing. And only you control that. Remember this. Plan for the holidays and the rest of your life now.
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Kudos for a well written piece, as were so many, e.g., Ian's and Kerry's....you are getting good advice from men here Frank. Listen to them. They've been where you are now but they got better.
Also, "Victory" in these situations is not determined by how happy or miserable your xw is, but how you are doing. And only you control that. Remember this. Plan for the holidays and the rest of your life now.
j-
Yeah, this past week I hit my emotional bottom. I don't want to make anyone the villian in my life any more. I'm so tired of everything that has happened because I LET it happen.
I'm not sure what to say to you. I have heard this before. Frank you have such potential. You have some amazing support in the RW and here. You did this once before, but you cannot seem to find out how to do it again. I have called you a mouse and you get angry at me. I have told you to be a wolf, and you condesendingly woof back.
How is this Frank:
Pity or Respect
Pick the one you want people to give you.
You fell of your horse, but you didn't get back on it. Why not?
I actually prefer it when you get angry, because it seems like you have some fire in you again, but now, I think you know that I like that and do it just to assuage me. Because you like to please people.
Get Frank back, Get the Frank back that saw the possibilites not the potholes. Fukc man do it for yourself and your daughters, that would be an awesome present.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I'm not sure what to say to you. I have heard this before. Frank you have such potential. You have some amazing support in the RW and here. You did this once before, but you cannot seem to find out how to do it again.
No, I can't. Not so far. It's because I gave up and withdrew and life got worse. And the cycle kept going. And the people I picked to help and support me here were poor choices. And it got worse.
And over time everyone has given up on me. Because I gave up on me.
A few days ago I just couldn't take the pain any more. So I went to an AA meeting I normally don't go to and asked for help. Help learning how to get past my spiritual emptiness. Help getting through the pain. And I got help, and I'm learning what to do again. Not to give up.
Quote:
You fell of your horse, but you didn't get back on it. Why not?
I fell too far, and XW was always there as a reminder, as a source of pain. That's my fault and I'm working on getting past it now.
Quote:
Get Frank back, Get the Frank back that saw the possibilites not the potholes. Fukc man do it for yourself and your daughters, that would be an awesome present.
Yeah, it would. I'm doing what I need to do and hoping some good will come out of it. I appreciate the support of all the people here. I've been so sick for so long, I think I became addicted to the pain and to being a victim.
My daughters still love me, still support me, still respect me.
It's hard, I'm doing my best (finally) one day at a time.
