Recovering yourself from all this

[frank_D]

Its ok to rehash as long as Frank doesn't get sucked back into the past.

No more of that.

[ClingingToHope]

I think I'm fooling myself if I believe she will 'realize' what a mistake this is and change. The evidence just isn't there.

Yes. I keep holding on to the thought that someday W will realize what we had was worth saving.

I'm realizing now that that just gives her continued emotional power over me.

What if I rebuild my life, find a new love, realize my dreams, help my girls grow into successful, confident women with their own careers and families and then, on my deathbed, when STBXW comes to see me, I ask her if she knows now she made a mistake and she replies, 'no, I'm happy with how things turned out.'

If I let her, that'd crush me. Better to work toward not caring what goes on in her head. If she comes to you someday and said I know now I made a mistake. Deal with it then. If it never happens, well the fog will lift in Heaven when God asks her why she broke the covenant?

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Clinging...

Really that sounds desperate you need a new name. I dub thee...
Wiley Coyote...Super Genius.

So Wiley,

What if you did rebuild your life. Find a new love. Realize your dreams. Your daughters are successful women with wonderful careers with wonderful children and husbands who treat them with the respect they deserve. And on your death bed your X-wife did come.

My question would be...WHY would she come?
My next question which is even more important, is why would you even ask her that, since it indicates that your new wife and everything you did with her was just a sham?

The saving grace is in your next sentence.

If I let her

Bingo!

If you let her.

[frank_D]

Yes, rebuilding our lives, or rather BUILDING new lives is our key to being happy. And living in the NOW. Today.

[frank_D]

Well no divorce paper signing today. Still haven't heard from STBX or the Paralegal. Tomorrow's my birthday, maybe I'll get a birthday present!

[smith18]

Dont think of the what could have beens on this birthday.

Just look ahead to next years birthday in which you could be in love with someone new and be receiving one of the best gifts of all - birthday sex!

[smith18]

HAPPPY BIRTHDAY FRANK!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

IF we lived near,

I'd buy you a steak and a beer.

IF we lived near, and IF I were rich,

We go to Vegas, buy you a steak and a beer, and staple $1000 dollars to your jacket and see you the next morning.

Since however, neither is currently true.

Happy Birthday Frank.

Beyond my well wishes I can really only offer you this.

IF

by:Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

You have part of your old path to walk, and on it you will always find your feet, that path is fatherhood.

But you also are walking a new path Frank, and your feet will be on it legally once your sign some paperwork. I hope your head and eyes are also on this path Frank.

I will try to call you later today...but really, it's your birthday...you better not be home. : )

[frank_D]

Thanks Kerry and Jack. I am home, and I have meetings today. Just another day.

However, I am on my new path. And that makes all the difference.

[brandnewday]

Happy Birthday Amigo

(((((hugs)))))