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Another day in paradise!

D14 hasn't had any meltdowns and has been really happy all week. It does my heart good to see her this way after seeing her miserable most of the time.

D18 had some issues with one of her friends and came to me and said "Dad, I just need to vent to someone ok?" and started to unload her troubles. It was very refreshing. I just listened and validated.

I feel like I'm a better dad than I have been in a long time. I almost wish STBX wasn't coming back on Sunday night.


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Quote:

I feel like I'm a better dad than I have been in a long time. I almost wish STBX wasn't coming back on Sunday night.


You probably are.

Why? Is your parenting skills going to suffer because she is around? If so...you better figure out why you let that crap happen. If not? STFU and keep on being a great dad.

God Frank...SHE doesn't affect your life, you LET her affect your life.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

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Try to look at the good side of the situation. Your depressed, crying, clingy, bed hoping X is teaching her daughters a valuable lesson in what they should not become.

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Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans

Why? Is your parenting skills going to suffer because she is around? If so...you better figure out why you let that crap happen. If not? STFU and keep on being a great dad.

God Frank...SHE doesn't affect your life, you LET her affect your life.


Not because she affects MY life, because SHE affect D14's Life. crazy D14 has been so much calmer this week than she has been in a long time. The previous 2 weeks D14 has been a wreck. Now she's sleeping at night, doing her homework on time and much happier.

You kapiech pirate boy? It ain't about me. cool



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Originally Posted By: KerryK
Try to look at the good side of the situation. Your depressed, crying, clingy, bed hoping X is teaching her daughters a valuable lesson in what they should not become.


Amen to that. The best part is they GET the lesson.


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Touche.

Point well made.

I'll hazard this. Mabye a similar conversation with your D14, about how she reacts to her mom...the way you used to react to her as well as an example.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

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Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans

I'll hazard this. Mabye a similar conversation with your D14, about how she reacts to her mom...the way you used to react to her as well as an example.


Thanks Jack, that's not a bad idea. Being a teenager though my gut tells me that she doesn't have the will or the patience. However, I will give her some advice. Her biggest issue (as is her sisters, D18) is that they both do not like being yelled at or criticized. They both have some emotional mood swings that take a lot of strength NOT to get sucked into the anger, especially because they shut down rather than discuss.

The only example they have is their mother, so their pattern is to avoid. Lately I have been not allowing myself to react when they do this. Instead I continue to tell either of them how they are being emotional and sometimes rude when I am trying to have a discussion. If they don't change their tone I start taking away privileges, calmly, until they stop.

I'm sure there is a reason I was given 2 daughters and a bipolar wife. Probably because I could handle it as long as I took care of myself. And I do.


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What Jack said! The way you interact with WAW may well influence how D14 reacts. I'm pretty convinced that the kids follow our example. Also, I think that at 14 D is old enough to have the cause/effect pointed out. Once she sees it, she might be able to deal with it better.

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Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Touche.

Point well made.

I'll hazard this. Mabye a similar conversation with your D14, about how she reacts to her mom...the way you used to react to her as well as an example.


Ohhhhhh!!! A very fine example of why we all bow to the pirate.

Very good point, Jack.

Just wanted to say so.

Over and out.



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Originally Posted By: Virtually_Handsome
What Jack said! The way you interact with WAW may well influence how D14 reacts. I'm pretty convinced that the kids follow our example. Also, I think that at 14 D is old enough to have the cause/effect pointed out. Once she sees it, she might be able to deal with it better.


I agree with you. Except I rarely interact with WAW, and if I do, they don't see it. And, if you read my previous posts you will recall that the girls are having their own issues with their mom because she is, as KerryK said so well:

Originally Posted By: KerryK
Try to look at the good side of the situation. Your depressed, crying, clingy, bed hoping X is teaching her daughters a valuable lesson in what they should not become.


And that is what they tell me - they cannot deal with the pressure she puts on them by her emotional neediness. I don't ASK them anything except "Hey you seem down, what's bothering you?" and I get the 'dump' of how much Mom did this and how much mom did that.

That's it.


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