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I check out all the threads...trying to figure out what to do and trying to live each day to the fullest.
As you said, become the better person. As the ladies have said, become the person my h would be a fool to leave. Trying to do that....think I'm on the right road. Just miss him and our marriage. Trying to focus on ME and less on HIM, but that's the hard part.
Me 52 H 47 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Its up to you to determine the validity of the statment.
If something is simply untrue...like for instance, the MLCer says your fat...and you're not...then, well that's an easy one to ignore.
However, if the MLC says your fat, and you have put on wieght and it is true...it might sting a bit. Now you can defend it, say it never was a problem before why should it be a problem now? : ) Well...it is. Before they were just too nice.
They actually say some pretty insightful stuff...you just need to filter it to get at the truth.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Loc: Hilton, New York
On the terms of living life to the fullest:
As most of you know, I lost my brother in April. He was a wonderful man who lived every day like it was his last day. He showed kindness and compassion for people without calling attention to himself. But when he died, there were probably 200 people at his funeral, and the lives he touched were immense. I had so many people come up and hug me that at one point, my good friend had to pull me out because he saw me get overwhelmed by the very many people ( thanks Jimbo).
It was because of K that I made the decision to return to the east coast. Although I started out in Virginia, I ended up in New York. Making that choice was a difficult decision. I wanted to be close to my father, but the minute that I got to New York (upstate Rochester) I felt home in a way that I had not felt in a long time.
I went to visit the cemetary where my mother and grandmother are buried out here, and sat down with them to contemplate my future. And thought of K, and what he would have done.
There would have been no question for him, he would have gone where he would have been happy, content, and complete. And it was in that moment I heard his voice whisper to me, and I decided to stay in New York.
Live every day like it is your last, because you never know when it might actually be.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..