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#1871269 - 11/10/09 12:49 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
KerryK Offline
Member

Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 5992
Loc: Beaver State
Jack - What I meant by my question in the context of the discussion was whether you felt much pain the day your D became official. Also, I thought the failure rate was 60% for 2nd marriages. I have no idea whether I will ever get married again...I believe marriage is a good institution, but my pocket book tells me otherwise and to be overly cautious.
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Young divorced dad who lives half the time with a wonderful son (10) and daughter (8).

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#1871280 - 11/10/09 12:58 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: KerryK]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
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Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
80% if the second marriage is based off an affair.

Cautious people don't discover new land.

Well I wan't MLC, and I'm not Frank's wife. Let me say this, I was relieved, and my regret was the pain I had caused her. IF she had been capable of real change beyond a two week facade and putting our marriage above her wants, her friends and family, and we had been equal in it instead of being some life sized Ken doll. Things would have been much different.

: )...wow that sounded bitter.
It was.
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


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#1871288 - 11/10/09 01:05 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
KerryK Offline
Member

Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 5992
Loc: Beaver State
Cautious people dont marry Elizabeth Taylor - twice. Mickey Rooney could also learn a bit about caution.

Hey Ken doll...I am trying to figure out which one is you in this picture.
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Young divorced dad who lives half the time with a wonderful son (10) and daughter (8).

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#1871301 - 11/10/09 01:15 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: KerryK]
KerryK Offline
Member

Registered: 10/17/07
Posts: 5992
Loc: Beaver State
Frank, are you and STBXW on a united front in doing what is best for D14?
_________________________
Young divorced dad who lives half the time with a wonderful son (10) and daughter (8).

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#1871329 - 11/10/09 01:30 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: KerryK]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
In my first marriage?

The squirrel.
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


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#1871620 - 11/10/09 07:16 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: KerryK]
frank_D Offline
Member

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 4939
Loc: Ventura County, CA
Originally Posted By: KerryK
Frank, are you and STBXW on a united front in doing what is best for D14?


Yes, except I don't yell at her. I don't know what the problem is except, as D18 says, she has to live with her mother when her mother is being neurotic.
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#1871629 - 11/10/09 07:32 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: frank_D]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
I'm not sure the homework problem is endemic to divorce or marital problems.

My son, God bless him, is going to end up panhandling because it seems like actually turning in the homework we do together is too difficult to remember.

Our friends younger sister who is 16, also seems to be having similar problems.
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


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#1871645 - 11/10/09 07:59 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
figgeroni Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/09
Posts: 949
As a teacher, I can say that this is a universal problema nd really has nothing to do with homelife

and

teenagers are great at manipulating that to be the "poor me" card instead of the, "I was to lazy to turn it in" or "I forgot it somewhere and it is really my fault for being irresponsible" cards.

Hopefully her percentages weren't too low because she will have a heck of a time pulling off the grades to get better than a C for a semester class if she was failing at the end of 1st quarter

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#1871646 - 11/10/09 08:00 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: frank_D]
sofaraway Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 10111
Loc: Memphis, TN
Originally Posted By: frank_D
Originally Posted By: KerryK
Frank, are you and STBXW on a united front in doing what is best for D14?


Yes, except I don't yell at her. I don't know what the problem is except, as D18 says, she has to live with her mother when her mother is being neurotic.


Frank, this is one of those situations where you and the stbx must work together because it is about the child. Sit your daughter down in a room with you and the stbx and make her speak before both of you. That way there is no confusion, no manipulation, no lies.

Let your D14 be involved in the how are we going to fix 3 F's decision. Let her be in front of both of you when the question is asked about where she wants to live and what works best for her.

I will say one more thing, the 3 F's are not because your stbx is neurotic, they are more likely because neither parent is actively participating in follow through on her schoolwork. You because you are not there, and stbx because she is well....you know.


Ian
_________________________
M- 42
XW- mentally 14
KIDS- 3- S14, D17, D23
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09


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#1871651 - 11/10/09 08:04 PM Re: The Warriors quest [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
sofaraway Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 10111
Loc: Memphis, TN
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
80% if the second marriage is based off an affair.

Cautious people don't discover new land.

Well I wan't MLC, and I'm not Frank's wife. Let me say this, I was relieved, and my regret was the pain I had caused her. IF she had been capable of real change beyond a two week facade and putting our marriage above her wants, her friends and family, and we had been equal in it instead of being some life sized Ken doll. Things would have been much different.

: )...wow that sounded bitter.
It was.


Now that this is out, that is what I meant Jack.... It was comparing apples to oranges because Frank is all alone and on a different side of the fence in his divorce.


Ian
_________________________
M- 42
XW- mentally 14
KIDS- 3- S14, D17, D23
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09


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