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Originally Posted By: figgeroni
As a teacher, I can say that this is a universal problem and really has nothing to do with homelife

and

teenagers are great at manipulating that to be the "poor me" card instead of the, "I was to lazy to turn it in" or "I forgot it somewhere and it is really my fault for being irresponsible" cards.




DING DING DING.... Exactly and I believe Figeroni wins the booby prize....... whistle

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I wondered if that was you meant.

I have 7,000 plus posts, you can rehash any of my history anytime you want too, I am who I am and I'm not sure I have hidden anything about my past.

Feeling badly for the kids...I still do not believe that Frank can afford to feel bad without getting mired in it. And while I did not feel bad for my kids, I will admit that I had very high hopes as to why.

But even then, man I was already a better dad, than I had been any year before all that MLC crap happened. I am still grateful that my eyes were opened, and I still am not sure how they could have been opened any other way.

That is what I meant about being sad for my kids. Mom? Mom was still the same person and degrading in respect to being a parent...I was becoming the Dad I wanted.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

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I don't have that kind of time Jack......

I do not air other peoples stuff unless I know that they want it out there.

Quote:
Feeling badly for the kids...I still do not believe that Frank can afford to feel bad without getting mired in it. And while I did not feel bad for my kids, I will admit that I had very high hopes as to why.


Please explain????? Why?

Quote:
..I still do not believe that Frank can afford to feel bad without getting mired in it. And while I did not feel bad for my kids, I will admit that I had very high hopes as to why.


The thing is Jack, and yes I say this from experience, it is not a choice, you feel bad because you are a person of character and you cannot possibly sign those papers without a huge burden of sadness over your roles in the failure of your marriage and the loss of what we view as a pristine life for our children.

When you are the major cause of the divorce and the one who strayed, remorse just isnt a high point for ya is it?


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So....shall we all be bruatally honest here?

I think that those of us who are oldtimers seem to have given some the wrong impression of us.

Some of us have our Marriages restored, others are happily divorced and some are dating or remarried to someone else.

Not one of us had an easy journey, not one of us did things without screwing up numerous amounts of times til we finally got it right. And even then, there were setbacks.

The things of the past do get blurry at times, and we forget details.

I know for myself it took so damn long to learn how to detach from the insanity of it all. To actually be able to cut off from the MLCBS and try to live my life as though he didn't exist.

For those of us with kids, it is even harder. Partly because we have to put aside our own pain for the sake of the children, and partly because the WAS does have a place in our children's lives whether we like it or not.

Some of us were surrounded by family and friends for support. Some of us were abandoned and had to deal with it all totally alone, with help only from our cyber friends on the DB-site.

Some of us had huge financial difficulties and couldn't pay the bills, others had plenty of money and never had to worry about expenses or groceries.

Some of us got involved with another person, and had a wonderful distraction from the WAS, others handled their lonliness in a different way.

Whatever the situation, although many of us are the same, we are all different.

What may be easy for some, is hard for another.

Nobody has any right to tell you how to be a Man, and tell you to grab your faithful steed and bow and arrow and suck it up. It doesn't work that way.

Not in real life anyways.

Each day has to be taken as it comes. Some days are easy, others dreadfully painful. Anything can trigger the emotions. A song on the radio, a memory, the holiday season.

We do need to be respectful when giving advice to others especially when we make a huge statements of how to be and how to act during this ordeal.

I do not know what it feels like to be served papers and be told that my marrige is now officially over. I don't know what it feels like to not be able to see my children on a daily basis or have to fight for custody. I do not know what it feels like to see my children hanging out with OW and her family.

I can only imagine and I can feel the pain of others, but it would be wrong of me to tell another how to feel about a situation if I had never experienced it myself.

Not one of us has our sh*t together. We all have issues, which we should be working on daily. NOT for our WAS but for us, so we can become better people and an example for our children.


There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
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Yes, D14 is a typical teenager. She does a lot of her homework but doesn't hand it in.

So, yesterday the revised divorce papers were signed by me finally, and I filed for bankruptcy.


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BND... Said beautifully. Tolerence, open mindedness, and empathy for others are so important during this time. Just because one does not choose the same path as we did/would/do on this journey does not make them wrong. Everyone processes and deals with things differently. Yes, some get on a destructive path, which is never good, but otherwise everyone is an individual making personal choices.

Yes Frank, let me tell you, I teach 10 year olds and have taught 14 year olds and the homework thing is universal...Not a sign of disfunction... a sign of being a kid wink


"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."
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"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments."
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BND,

: )


You've got the cape now.

That's what we call an inside joke folks.

Frank if I have in anyway made you feel less like a man...


...


Then you're a wuss. wink



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

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A friend sent me this, it was posted this morning by STBX to her facebook page

Quote:

Today I am thankful for the marriage that I had for 17 years with Frank D. We explored together made a family together played together and cryed together. I am grateful for everyway that I have grown from knowing him and sharing so many years of my life with him.


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That is a very nice sentiment by your wife Frank.

And I am sure it has brought some tears to your eyes.

But dont linger on it too long thinking of why.

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I know why. So she can feel better about herself and her decision. Her friends have posted all kinds of supportive stuff to her about her 'wonderful' sentiments.

It's just the way it is. There's nothing 'hopeful' to read into it.


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