Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 147 of 239 1 2 145 146 147 148 149 238 239
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
K
K4D Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
PMA,

I am not coming here for attention. And I did not get drunk last night. Geez, I had 2 shots with her. I actually went and worked out yesterday afternoon before even heading over there last night. No, it was not part of the 12 step program. My gosh dude, lighten up.

I am not in denial about anything. I do know how to control myself. So I had fun with a lady last night that I really ended up liking. Give me a break.

I did not come here for attention. I was just posting what happened last night. I was looking to get some perspective on the events.

But, whatever. I do still want my M fixed. I just got caught up in the night.

That is fine. I don't have to post anything.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
GoBison #1870574 11/09/09 07:51 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,992
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,992
Will power Kevin. You have to learn about it and make it a NUT (non-negotiable unalterable term) that you will never touch alcohol ever again.

K4D #1870576 11/09/09 07:52 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
Getting a little defensive are we? HMMMM sounds like your W.

Dude the drinking is a problem. You can justify it all you want but it really is a bad idea.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
smith18 #1870580 11/09/09 07:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 737
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 737
Hi Kevin, just catching up on your thread the last couple of days. Glad you had a good time out but I agree with everyone that told you that you need to let this woman know that you are only looking for friendship.

It will be a rebound, and you are the one that taught me all I know on standing for a marriage. Don't stop now. Don't let the evil take over. You are doing such a great job, don't mess it up now. I also want to thank you for sending me to that web site, if it wasn't for you I would have given up.

Keep up the good work, but stand.


M 41
H 35
D 12
S 18
Separated 11/08
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,240
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,240
Originally Posted By: PMA_Baby!
Originally Posted By: K4D
She wanted to do a couple of shots and so I did 2 with her.Kevin


Only 2 shots!?! Seriously!?! It's not like you're an ADDICT or anything. WTF!!! Kevin. You're still following the 12 step program!?! What program is that. I don't recall any of the steps of the AA program allowing shots.


Holy crap, I missed that part.

What the hell are you thinking?? If you're willing to throw away whatever progress you've made on tackling your alcoholism for a woman that you don't know, then you are in more trouble than you realize.

Originally Posted By: PMA_Baby!
You just made an excuse as to why it was okay for you to take the shots. The next thing you're going to do is explain why it's okay for you to drink again, then to kiss her, then to have sex with her.


He's already started doing that. He liked the attention after being neglected for so long by his wife; he's struggling with it, but he's swept away by her feminine wiles.

Originally Posted By: PMA_Baby!
At this point, it's OBVIOUS to eveyone on this board, especially 25, that you just come here for ATTENTION.


I'm beginning to agree. We're supposed to feel so sorry for Kevin because of this great moral struggle he's going through, but it's a no-brainer.

If you are standing for your marriage, then don't see this woman again -- especially since she can convince you to throw away your progress as an alcoholic.

(Out of curiosity, did that come up at all in your amazing 6-hour conversation? If not, why not? Especially when she invited you to do shots?)

Either way, I'm done here. Best of luck to you, Kevin, because you're going to need it.


Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."
K4D #1870583 11/09/09 07:58 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,164
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,164
Kev. If you were my friend. I'd kick your azz. We have all devoted a lot of time and effort to try and help you. You have shown over and over again that you have an ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY. Whether it's ALCOHOL or RELIGION or YOUR GIRLS (Great if done with the right intentions and motivation ;-) ) You have shown that your MODERATION part of the brain is not working. You like to go ALL IN every chance. We should definitely play poker some time wink Regardless, once again I wouldnt write if I didnt care. I want you to get the HELP you need to become the BEST KEVIN you can be. Maybe you should join the ARMY. Anyway, you CANT do that if your NOT HONEST with yourself. What DESTROYED your marriage? ALCOHOL! ANGER! ADDICTION!?! Figure that out and your on your way to having the life you want. Keep on running and making decision based on what's EASIER vs. what takes WORK and you will never get there.


Sorry to be rough I just get frustrated when you start looking/acting like your figuring things out and then you go and say something ignorant like "I only had 2 shots but I'm still going to the 12 step program".

PMA

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
K
K4D Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
Ok, I put myself into a situation that I should not have last night. I can agree and admit that. It has been on my mind today. I posted for perspective. It went against everything I have been saying and doing to stand. I also admit I made mistakes in how to interact with my W. I also admit that I was judgemental. I didn't like what she was doing, but in a way, I let myself do the same thing last night. I shouldn't have. I will be canceling going out with her again this week. I let the moment take over me. I said it was wrong from the beginning.

I appreciate the 2x4s.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1870592 11/09/09 08:07 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
K
K4D Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
Don't worry. I am sure 25 will either say nothing or blast me. I'm not sure which. I guess I shouldn't have posted today. I thought I would be honest. But I see now, that I should have just kept quiet and fixed what happened last night on my own.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1870596 11/09/09 08:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
K
K4D Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
Sigh,

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1870599 11/09/09 08:14 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
Really? Let's face it if you didn't post here you would have gone out with her, drank some more, probably had sex and tossed whatever "progress" you had out the window.

Look at what you're doing even now. You are waffling between "oh I shouldn't have posted" to "I'm glad for the 2x4s". Whatever.

IMO since you're going to do what you want any way, go ahead and go out with her and swing the alcohol. I'm sure God will understand. So much for page 92 of your post.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Page 147 of 239 1 2 145 146 147 148 149 238 239

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard