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Quote:

First things first, you wouldnt have let your boys see you feel bad for them, but you would have. Sometimes the all mighty Oz makes statements based on how they would like to believe they would have acted, reality is a very different thing. Not trying to piss on your fire here pirate, just pointing out that sometimes we speak of which we don't know and it comes off as demeaning.


You're wrong Ian.
Go back anywhere in my posts once I kicked her out and find me a reference when I bemoaned my boys fate.

And for the record, I never think of myself as Oz, or some great sage guru.

When exactly did I piss in your Wheaties, brother?



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Quote:

First things first, you wouldnt have let your boys see you feel bad for them, but you would have. Sometimes the all mighty Oz makes statements based on how they would like to believe they would have acted, reality is a very different thing. Not trying to piss on your fire here pirate, just pointing out that sometimes we speak of which we don't know and it comes off as demeaning.


You're wrong Ian.
Go back anywhere in my posts once I kicked her out and find me a reference when I bemoaned my boys fate.

And for the record, I never think of myself as Oz, or some great sage guru.

When exactly did I piss in your Wheaties, brother?


You didnt piss in my wheaties.. .I am not wrong, you have never been where Frank is in that the signing of the papers and the finality of it all. You told him he was wrong for being sad, that is not right. As I said before, if you havent been where he is it is hard to say what you would or would not do. Kicking her out in no way is equivalent to signing divorce papers and you know that.

My point in all of it is that Frank has a right to feel the way he feels, everyone does. People look to you for leadership and in general you have the ability to empathize and not allow your own emotions to come into play with your posts. This time you did wrong. You said what you would do in a situation you have never been in.

You know that I of all people have never been afraid to point out when you do make a mistake. I didn't say it was on purpose, just that it was incorrect....

Even guidance needs a filter Jack..... smirk


Ian

Last edited by sofaraway; 11/09/09 12:47 AM.

M- 48
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KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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Fair enough.

This is Frank, whom we all care for. He can find enough reasons to flog himself, and be miserable, I refuse to give him advice that even remotely suggests he should do so.

He does have a right to feel the way he does, it is his mindset. He has done it for the last several years. Everything is sad or tainted with it.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Jack - Didn't you get divorced once before?

BTW... Kicking my wife out was much tougher emotionally than signing some stupid piece of paper. But my situation was different in that I had a girl friend when the papers were signed.

I can understand the feeling of loneliness that Frank must feel.

Just dont wallow in it Frank.

And dont ever touch alcohol again.

Will power my friend.

Strength, Honor and Joy.

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Hey, Frank,

(long-time since we last exchanged, but I keep up with ya')

You have always gotten some great, heartfelt advice here in these forums from a lot of diverse viewpoints, like Ian, Jack, Kerry, et. al. And sometimes their approaches are at odds with each other, but that's to be expected, I guess.

I wanted to point out that this goes to show you are by no means going through this alone. You have a lot of people here who care about you and want to help you to help yourself. I'd take some great comfort in that. (There are many people in this world who go through these things that don't any form of moral/morale support.) And God is with you too.

You hit the nail on the head itself when you said that it's just going to take some time.

Take care, brother.


Me: 49
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S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
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Thanks for all the thoughts. I'm determined not to wallow in it. And I will not touch alcohol again.


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STBX agreed to my counter offer. Signing tomorrow for good.

Now I have to deal with bankruptcy filing. I also told our paralegal that I would help STBX with the costs since I know she can't afford it. She thought that was very kind and decent of me.

I just felt that she wouldn't be in this financial predicament if I had kept my wits about me.


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Originally Posted By: frank_D
I just felt that she wouldn't be in this financial predicament if I had kept my wits about me.


It's time to put stuff like this behind you.

For good.


Don't stand still.
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Frank, is there any possibility that you can avoid filing bankruptcy?

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Originally Posted By: KerryK
Frank, is there any possibility that you can avoid filing bankruptcy?

I'm too far under water. Why do you ask?


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