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Quote:
I'm not sure about pirates boots, though... Don't they come coupled w/bloomers and a man-dress!


I believe that is a ruffled shirt, not a dress.......and I also believe that there is a picture out there of our pirate friend that we could use your statement as a description.... eek


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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Originally Posted By: sofaraway
Seriously, I was not asking to pry. I am very curious, I see a lot of folks on this board that say there spouse is showing remorse, but how do they really know?
Ian

Jack, you jumped in on my story very quickly and made me feel better right away. You did it again a few days ago. I value your input. I'd like to know this, too. How do I know, objectively, that my H's remorse is real?


M 65
H 64
T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08
Two Ds

Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
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Jack! Miss ya bro, my fault, been too long away, too busy, Reads like home here tho, VERY nice.

Glad you're still hard to kill... grin I'm seriously chompin at the bit for L4D2 as well, but will have to wait for enough free time to play anyway. Might also be online later this year with that, we'll see how technology works out for me out here in the stix.

I'll be back in touch soon bro.


And a very super fond how-do to you as well Grace! Missed you too!


Punkt


These are my friends now!

But someday baby...
You ain't worry my life anymore

Take away, take away what I don't need, save the good part please. Fade away, fade away.
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Hey Punkt,

Smooches!

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Before I get into the deep heavy crap...

Punkt! How the hell have you been man? L4D2 is going to be awesome. Drop me a line with your gamertag if you have an XBox account.

Ian and mindful, more Pirates of the Carribean and less Pirates of Penzance. I know you're older Ian so the modern major general thing might be more at the forefront of your mind, if you're doing that though...then go with Captain Blood.

As for being Jewish, same God, I just read the sequel, and I believe that a bunny craps out chocolate and multi-colored eggs every April.

A Brooklyn Tony joke:

10 year old Tony is sitting on a park bench and eating a candy bar, once he is done he pulls another candy bar out of his coat pocket and eats that one too. An elderly man sees this and watches Tony eat 5 candy bars in a row and when Tony pulls out a sixth candy bar the old man can take it no more.

"Did you know that eating too much candy rots your teeth, can make you fat and can cause serious health issues in your life?"

Tony look sup at the guy and says, "My grandpa lived to be 101 years old."

"Did you're grandpa eat 6 candy bars a day?" The man inquired.

"No, he lived that long because he minded his own fukcing business."



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR:

Brooklyn Tony was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!"

The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'. Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Brooklyn Tony, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

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I love Brooklyn Tony.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Ian and Twink.

I have been pondering the question about remorse as a WAH, what I said and what I did.

I used to use caveats all the time when I posted y opinion and advice. I shall do that now.

And this is a serious post, I am not trying to be funny or hurtful.

The caveats:

I am not your husband or wife. I did not have a Life Crisis, Mid or otherwise. I do not know if your spouse did have a mid-life crisis, but I can sum up that I believe a MLC is defined by confusion.

More importantly, neither of you was my first wife.

Both of those facts are important.

You both have worked on yourself. You both have improved yourself, you both listened and worked on issues. She didn’t.

When a spouse actually tells you about a problem, isn’t it usually in the best interest of the marriage to come to some sort of resolution? Give. Take. Compromise.

Did you guys do that? Did you listen?
She didn’t.

To suggest that I deserved that comment, you simply have no idea of what my marriage was like, what I went through or she went through.

The details are important, but unimportant here, for the choice. When I left, after marriage counseling after months of trying to make it work, to get her to realize how serious I was, I gave her no hope. I did not try to contact her, I left everything behind, and I told her it was over.

Was I perfect? No far from it, but I worked on trying to meet her halfway.

I had a lot more written of that background but I removed it. It was un-needed, it sounded like a rant, and I could still read the anger there at her and at myself.

We failed, she failed me and I failed her. No matter how much I believe I tried I failed her, effort was lacking on both sides.

That is my side of the story, and she has hers…somewhere close by or far away is the truth. 3 sides to every story.
The remorse?

That came at my lowest with my MLC wife. I sent her an email. Simply apologizing for the pain I caused her, but I thought she would like to know how bad everything for me had gotten.

I felt that it might somehow make her feel better knowing that my life sucked. I still am sorry for the pain I caused, but I do not regret my decision, and that was made clear.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Being that I am a cautious dating guy, I am curious...

After you divorced and started dating again, were there signs that you were looking for in a woman so as to not choose someone who would not contribute their share to the relationship?

How long after divorcing did you meet your current wife? How long did you court her?

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I met my wife prior to my divorce.
She would be the OW in my first marriage.

We ended the affair and I tried to work on my marriage with my wife. When I left, it was a very short time before I was with her.

Courting? Not really.

Let me make clear, she was not the reason I left, she didn't even make it easier to leave. I was not talking to her. I left for me.

Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 11/12/09 11:19 PM.


Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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