Hi Bonny, Going well. Seeing the surgeon tomorrow to haave the bandaging removed. That'll be good because it's pretty hot at the moment. Can't wait to get rid of the stockings either!
You're right, Bonny. I am feeling pretty good. It's taken me a long time to reach this point but although I feel sad it's come to this I now see a whole new life looming and I plan to make the most of it.
Usually it would be H who organises lifts to and from his place. I simply responded to D's request. Not sure why he felt the need to apologise and I am certainly not getting involved. Just interesting that he would even bother to apologise. Before now he wouldn't have given a hoot. I just find these interactions interesting. I can see that he is trying to be reasonable.
Hi Cas, good to see your spirits are up. Thanks for dropping by my thread earlier. I did not know of your past illness before, you are an incredibly strong woman!
Cheers
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
Thanks Deep. Circumstances certainly make or break us!! Interestingly, I think I was a strong woman all along but I allowed myself to become dependant and needy of my H. My illness and subsequent separation have quite possibly restored that strength that I've had laying dormant for a long time now. That's why I am itching to get out and do new stuff now. Patience is now needed in a whole new way!
The bandages are off, just some tape now. Phew, that's a bit cooler and a bit easier to move! Going back in 3 weeks for a check up and to plan for the gran finale in 12 weeks time.
Surgeon says I'm fine to fly (with my stockings on) so I'm all set to start planning some trips. Yay!!
There's nothing for me to report but something is different.........
H and I have spoken, texted and emailed a few times as we have a few business things happening at present and a few things with the kids.
Last week H not only asked how I was feeling after the op by email and text and when he phoned the house looking for D but he also did 16 trips for D and I did none. After the last op he didn't offer any! This week he's organised him to do just over half. For 2 years I've done pretty much everything, and he's been the Tuesday night dinner Dad.
D says he keeps inviting her to stay over at his place and complaining she doesn't stay often enough.
His dealings with me have been most courteous, but that is all. You could say it's been cordial.
Tonight he came here to drop off some business things but I was on the phone with my B. I knew about them and they required no explanantion so I carried on the convo but he was still here after some time (talking with the kids) so I interrupted my convo and asked if he wanted to speak to me about something and he said no and then left shortly after.
So, there's something different happening........... perhaps just trying to re-establish with the kids and dealing positively with me as he knows we'll have to see each other for many years ahead???
Today I saw H and OW at our business and they arrived together. H came and said hi and D tells me OW rolled her eyes at me when she saw I was there. For the first time, I really felt like saying something to her. After all, what have I ever done to her? Grrrr
Actually "something" and "nothing" at the same time.
Something: Your H is hanging about, being attentive, considerate and caring with both you, D and S. No recent R or D talk. Everytime he helps D or S it is a nice gesture towards you. Everytime he hangs about your house to see D or S he is also hanging to see you!!!!
Nothing: Your H is still with OW, status quo on that front. No R or D talk for several weeks. H appears to still be in limboland about Cas, marriage, the kids, his wants, OW, living life semi alone.
My H does what yours does, when he comes over he lingers about. It's like he doesn't want to leave. He even hangs when the convo is exhausted for the most part. I have often wondered the very same, why? Is he hanging to be invited to do something? Is he hanging to think up more to talk about so he can stay longer? Is he hanging to check out the surroundings to see what's new and changed? Does he want to have a R talk, then chickens out? I so wish the questions had answers, arghhh!!!
Last week my H called me Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. Over 4 hours of chatting about everything under the sun except us and the marriage. Every convo was positive and friendly and from what I can see he let his guard down and gave me a glimpse into his daily goings ons which is nothing really new except he seems to share things I wouldn't if I had filed for a D from my wife, i.e. money, schedules, contacts, etc.... On Thursday, he called here and I was out with a friend for the evening. He spoke to S who told him: "I don't know where she is but she is out with a friend" Well and hour plus later H was calling me on my cell (I didn't answer) and the message was: "Hi, just wondering what you are up to, when you get this message...call me". I returned the call but not til very late, I sounded all upbeat and perky and started like: "Hey, how are you, you asked me to call, what's up?" Again, I wish I had answers. My guess on my side here....H is setting me up only to postpone for #5 in court. I am becoming a huge skeptic. Can't help it. I think my "trust factor" has taken a huge plunge south!!!!!!!! With very good reason.
(((((Cas))))) keep doing what you are doing. You have definitely gotten your H's attention again. I say keep it up, let's see what his next move is.....The wheels are definitely turning in his head!!!!
Take care, have a great week ahead.....
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
Good to hear you are feeling more comfortable, the H factor is very interesting too! Something must be in the water as my H seems to be moving forward a bit too! Although I do wonder if the onset of the Xmas spirit has something to do with this! I suppose we will all have to wait and see!
Bet you are really looking forward to planning some trips, a holiday is definitely on my to do list for next year!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Today H calls me to ask if he can borrow my camera and to copy the videos of the kids when they are young. I ask him to do a copy for me. He says ok.
H tells S he might move interstate for work or he might travel around with a caravan for a while and see the country. Still restless. Wondering if he's trying to create space.
Hi Sanderika.....I think you're probably too generous in your assumption of H. I think he cares for me in a distant kind of way and that is all.
Hi rabbit. Hope things are continuing to progress so positively for you
