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NoLongerHere #1861844 10/25/09 04:07 PM
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Bill,
Originally Posted By: BillM
I have so let go.
Good for you. I haven't posted here much but I've followed and you've impressed me and given me much food for thought. Thank you.
Best going-forward-detaching wishes.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


NoLongerHere #1861885 10/25/09 06:08 PM
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Originally Posted By: BillM
Wow. Wow. Wow.

Things happened yesterday that made me believe my W is right - we're not compatible.

I'm OK with the M being over. I'm OK with moving forward in the most productive, unhurtful way.

I hope you're ok. I don't know that in one day you can discover your M should be over-for compatibility or whatever reasons. It took me almost 2 years to get to that point. I know everyone has different timetables, but...


Me 53
D18, S24
karen43 #1861949 10/25/09 09:39 PM
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Bill - I have never posted on your thread, but have read it regularly.

So what if you got there in 1 day!!! You are there. I am proud (and a little jealous) of you.

Way to take YOUR life back.


50 years old.

Ontario, Canada

Loving Marriage #2 with the perfect person.


NoLongerHere #1861956 10/25/09 10:19 PM
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Bill,
Originally Posted By: BillM
Wow. Wow. Wow.

Things happened yesterday that made me believe my W is right - we're not compatible.

What things, if I may ask?


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1862360 10/26/09 06:23 PM
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I hesitate to post all this because it's going to sound like I've gone completely crazy.

My going out with a friend for lunch started at 11:30 and ended at 2:00 am. No, that did not include anything that "should not" have happened - we just kept doing things.

We clicked. It was clear at the end that there is a lot of potential there.

And yeah I saw her Sunday too.

W knew that I was "going out", but when she got home she said I was - her word - "giddy"

And she was devistated. Not that it was my intention.

I'm not DBing anymore guys. I'm moving on.

I told her, I'm not angry with you anymore, you're right that we need to move on with the D. I can be your friend, we can work through this together. So, just making this as productive and easy as possible.

I thought I was letting her off the hook. I really did. And now she's in more pain than she's been in through this whole process. It is difficult to see.

NoLongerHere #1862367 10/26/09 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted By: BillM

I hesitate to post all this because it's going to sound like I've gone completely crazy.
Not crazy at all. Good for you.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1862382 10/26/09 06:43 PM
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Quote:
W knew that I was "going out", but when she got home she said I was - her word - "giddy"

And she was devistated.


Wait, Bill. It gets even better.

counter-intuitive

NoLongerHere #1862394 10/26/09 06:53 PM
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Quote:
I told her, I'm not angry with you anymore, you're right that we need to move on with the D. I can be your friend, we can work through this together. So, just making this as productive and easy as possible.

Way back at the beginning a friend told me it's easier to get over someone when you have someone.


Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11
http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz
http://tiny.cc/thread2
http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu
http://tinyurl.com/thread4
http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6
http://tinyurl.com/thread6
ClingingToHope #1862480 10/26/09 08:12 PM
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Wow! Bill, you're an inspiration. You've reached it - detachment. I wanted to send my support but also let you know that your posts have really helped me too, in many ways. You're so open in your posts yet keep them brief & to the point. I feel like I've learned a lot reading them. So thank you.

You sound at peace, and you should know, you really truly deserve it.

Eskimo Nell #1862488 10/26/09 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted By: Eskimo Nell
Originally Posted By: karen43
[I agree with what your say,




I think that sometimes we just have to accept that whilst there are still finances that tie our Rs together, one or other partner will continue to get shafted. It's how we play that out that's important at the end of the day. Personally, I don't make a song and dance about it. I just write everything down, keep receipts and spreadsheets. If and when it comes to the end (please God that it doesn't) but I shall be ready and be able to prove what I have paid since H became a WAH.


Thank you Nell, for this advice. True enough for me - our credit card, checking & savings are joint & he's putting his "new" living expenses on them. I am going to record his WAS expenses - they'll be no 50/50 split on those! Sorry for the hijack Bill. :-)

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