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Originally Posted By: KerryK
Frank -

Do you think you are broken or disillusioned about someday having another relationship?


I think I am broken. Eventually I'll be fixed. I have good counseling and I know what's wrong now.

Quote:
Are you looking forward to dating?

no.


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I have to put my Shepherd down on Wednesday because she can't walk any more and falls down the stairs. She has been a good dog for 16 years. I hate this part of life.

She was my kids protector and has never bitten any human in her life. She fought bobcats at our old house and got skunked twice but never complained. On some nights she would run with the coyotes in the avocado ranch that was behind our house in the country.

It's hard to believe someone would dump her at the dog pound where we found her because she had too much of an adventuresome spirit.

She is so scared. When I carry her up the stairs she shakes because she is afraid that the 'alpha dog' isn't going to protect her.

STBXW came by and used her 'psychic' powers to determine that Diamond is ready to go, but is worried about me and D13 being ok.

STBXW didn't cry or show much sadness. I guess it's just me. I'm too sensitive.

She really did fight with bobcats, as well as one really ornery Possum who ran up a slanted tree, and Diamond followed it, fought with it (they don't always play dead) and shook it out of the tree. She hated the norwegian rats who ate out fruit trees and would catch them , shake them up and present them to us as 'gifts'.

Still though, her desire ... Read Moreto run with the coyotes who were howling on full moons was her greatest fun.

I think they thought she was one of them, even though she was a little bigger. She still smelled bad because she liked to roll in mud and stuff. so that made her a 'big coyot


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Oh Frank, I am so sorry. This is the hardest part making that decision, but it is your final gift to Diamond hard as it is.
I have been through this several times and it doesn't get easier I know.
I always have the vet come to me and it lessons the trauma for them.
After 16years you will have so many happy memories of her,be thankful she was in your life.
Maybe plant a tree in one of her favourite spots.
((((())))

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It's at times like this where you reflect on the good and bad in your life. For a long time on this board I did a lot of 'good'. I'm proud of that, At the time I felt strong. I had 'DB'ed my marriage and was a 'success'.

Except that I wasn't. I had just 'fixed' it, brought it back to the previous status where I carried the load for every problem. Alone.

I isolated, drank too much in the evening and ran away emotionally. W did what she always did. Withdraw, complain, give token 'support'.

After the bomb in 01/08 when I was already as far down as I thought I could ever be I fell farther. For the next year we went through several 'phases'. Anger. Friendly, Anger, sad. She had one EA and finally a PA that continues today.

Me, well I just stayed 'stuck'. In a pain I couldn't handle any more. Up until a couple months ago I stayed there. Medicating to send it away for a few hours.

A lot of people gave me a lot of advice that I couldn't act upon. I got angry and judgemental. Picked fights with a couple men on the board and even though I apologized I still feel ashamed at how much I had fallen.

I'm not sure which friends I've alienated. I don't want to put anyone on the spot by asking. So, for anyone I've hurt or insulted, please accept my sincere amends.

Moving on, I'm working on getting past the anger in my life. Forgiving STBXW and forgiving myself.

Putting Diamond down today at 5 will suck, but she'll be no longer suffering.


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Frank, I am sorry to hear about you having to lose your faithful family dog today. I remember taking my 15 year old German Sheperd/Siberean Husky to the vet a few years ago because she suddenly loss the use of her back legs and was in severe pain. I remember how scared she was and the vets reassured me that what I was doing was the best. I spent a lot of my single years doing all kind of outdoor activities with my dog and I still miss that to this day. Just know that you gave Diamond a wonderful life to live as a dog.

Sounds like Diamond had a bit of "the call of the wild" in her just like my Kelsy did. I can still vividly recall the hunting instinct when encountering Nutria, Ferrets, Squirrels, Marmots, Porcupine (Kelsy lost) and an Elk herd.

Cherish the memories.

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Well said Frank,just keep moving on with it.

I had my dog to vets today, don't think I will be too far be hind you with the decision making. I thought I had longer.
I am not ready for this,so I am clutching at straws and trying different meds.

I am so sorry for you. I hope it goes as well as it can.
(((())))

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Sorry to hear about Diamond Frank. I had to put my sons cat down just before D because he got diabetes and lost 22 lbs. He did weigh 40. Then just months later our big alaskan malamute followed with the needle.

It sucks but the memories are great. Stories are shared more now. Kind of healing.

cire


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frank_D Offline OP
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The past week she was unable to walk, and even to sit in front of her food bowl to eat. We decided a few days ago that she needed release from her pain.

I spoon fed her today, a whole can of dog food as she was starving. Around 5 pm PDT We all took her to the vet's to put her down. STBXW, D18, D13, Me and D18s boyfriend.

She was so happy to have us all together and paying attention to her. The vet is a kind man who let us all pet her while she was on the table. At the end she was happy we were all there and she passed in seconds after the injection in her main vein. She was scared and trembling a little but was calmed when we reassured her she would be in a better place soon.

She was a good dog, had a great life with us and we'll miss her greatly. D13 is taking it the hardest but we're all proud that we were able to have her wild spirit in our lives.

thanks,

frank


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Frank... I'm so sorry to hear about your dog Diamond...I too had to go through that, and want you to know that may prayers are with you.

Take care xx


Love Cinders xxx

"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus

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Hey Ian,

Just like your daughter, D13 is wearing her dog tags on a necklace today. She said every time someone asked her at school why, she would cry.

When she was here after school, she used my scribe pen to etch an epitath on the back:

1992 - 2009 Rest in peace.

She has always been the one with the big heart.


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