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#1860524 - 10/22/09 06:00 PM Re: Need input [Re: LookingFrAnswers]
NoLongerHere Offline
Member

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 1485
Really quick post -

My lawyer got a message from my W's lawyer today that he was going to take legal action unless I "fix the internet"

I don't know if that's funny or horrifying.

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#1860529 - 10/22/09 06:08 PM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
undrdg Offline
Member

Registered: 08/03/09
Posts: 287
tell them you can't fix it and you don't know how and don't have money to do it.
Tell your wife to buy her own.
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#1860538 - 10/22/09 06:29 PM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
Gardener Offline
Member

Registered: 06/01/09
Posts: 3831
Loc: Connecticut
Fix whose internet, exactly?
Lawyer drivel.
What did your lawyer think of it?
_________________________
Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac



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#1860565 - 10/22/09 07:24 PM Re: Need input [Re: Gardener]
C-Bart Offline
Member

Registered: 07/30/09
Posts: 882
Loc: Missouri
So now your in charge of the internet. Nice.

I think this would be a landmark case. Mental abuse caused by failure to provide broadband service. Just imagine if you made her use dialup.

One thing you can take away from this is your W's L is an a$$ hat. He should have explained to your W her legal boundaries versus taking her money for a trivial matter.
_________________________
_________________________
Me-41
W-39
M-15 yrs T-17 yrs
D-12
S-9
S-8
B 5/08
S 1/09

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#1860567 - 10/22/09 07:25 PM Re: Need input [Re: Gardener]
NoLongerHere Offline
Member

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 1485
Sheesh, not worth the energy. Really not worth the energy.
I just told my L that the internet was working fine when I got home. Just made my W - AND her L - look silly.

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#1860737 - 10/23/09 01:43 AM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
NoLongerHere Offline
Member

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 1485
Well.

She's refusing to move out.

She asked her lawyer to set up the court dates again.

I talked her into dropping that, but she's did call her L to set up a 4-way meeting ASAP.

And away we go.

Oh yeah, and she made me dinner, and brought me in a bowl of popcorn while I was in here talking on the phone. Crazy.

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#1860763 - 10/23/09 06:56 AM Re: Need input [Re: NoLongerHere]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Originally Posted By: BillM

I don't know if that's funny or horrifying.


I would call that EXPENSIVE either way! You seem to be getting to her though Bill.

How are you feeling??
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

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#1860784 - 10/23/09 08:43 AM Re: Need input [Re: Eskimo Nell]
Lost Rabbit Offline
Member

Registered: 08/26/09
Posts: 1317
Bill hope you dont mind me chipping in here, just wanted to add my best wishes, your facing a tough time with a great amount of dignity in my book. Get checked out not so much from the fact your wife is lying point of view, but if any scumbag (OM) is willing to have an affair with a married woman, I would bank on him taking care of her either. Just protect yourself please.

I have to giggle at getting the L to insist the router goes on I presume all you have done is turned it off at the switch not exactly rocket science to turn it back on again, although Im sure its not funny to you. Only thing is from my POV the home is both of yours so how can the router only be yours, it does seem a bit petty to stop her from using it although I do see your point about enabling her to continue using it to promote her ongoing affair.

Definitly stand your ground, you dont deserve a W whose not there for you, you sound a good man keep reminding yourself you deserve more.
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W 47
H 47
M 24
T 30

Once lost but now found and happily married again!

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#1860947 - 10/23/09 12:38 PM Re: Need input [Re: Lost Rabbit]
karen43 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 4886
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Lost Rabbit
Only thing is from my POV the home is both of yours so how can the router only be yours, it does seem a bit petty to stop her from using it although I do see your point about enabling her to continue using it to promote her ongoing affair.

Definitly stand your ground, you dont deserve a W whose not there for you, you sound a good man keep reminding yourself you deserve more.
I agree with what your say, but I agree with the view (Puppy's threads) that you should not pay for anything related to affair so router if she's using the internet to contact him, don't pay for the cell phone if she's used that to contact OM, don't pay for travel for her to visit OM, etc.
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Me 49
D13, S19

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#1861293 - 10/23/09 07:20 PM Re: Need input [Re: karen43]
Eskimo Nell Offline
Member

Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 1004
Loc: Totally Isolated
Originally Posted By: karen43
[I agree with what your say, but I agree with the view (Puppy's threads) that you should not pay for anything related to affair so router if she's using the internet to contact him, don't pay for the cell phone if she's used that to contact OM, don't pay for travel for her to visit OM, etc.



I agree but the only thing that is missing here is how are finances being currently being split anyhow? It's all well and good to say "don't pay for the router, cell phone, travel to OM" but if joint finances are still in place, the WAS still has access to the funds without having to even ask!

Another scenario is that my WAH and I have separate bank accounts plus a joint one. He's now more than halved what he pays toward the bills. This gives him more money in his own account which ergo, provides him with the where-with-all to live his separate life whilst I have to pick up the extra costs. (I hope that makes sense)!

I think that sometimes we just have to accept that whilst there are still finances that tie our Rs together, one or other partner will continue to get shafted. It's how we play that out that's important at the end of the day. Personally, I don't make a song and dance about it. I just write everything down, keep receipts and spreadsheets. If and when it comes to the end (please God that it doesn't) but I shall be ready and be able to prove what I have paid since H became a WAH. This sets me on to a more stable platform and gives me inner calm, peace and a sense of (financial) detachment, in the least. It helps me to regain some of the dignity which I feel that I lost first up and I know that I will come out better than H believes that I will. He says he wants to go 50-50 but I will contest that, if he continues on this path.... and my EVIDENCE will help me.

Protect yourself Bill ... I don't quite know how things work in America, even though here in Aus we are quite Anglo-American, but I have a sense that you would be wise to keep records too.
_________________________
WAH 43; W 47
M 16; T 17
Cats 15 & 6
Bomb 27/05/09
ow 28/06/09

"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"

Started counselling 17/08/09

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