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#1861844 - 10/25/09 12:07 PM Re: Free [Re: NoLongerHere]
Gardener Offline
Member

Registered: 06/01/09
Posts: 3831
Loc: Connecticut
Bill,
Originally Posted By: BillM
I have so let go.
Good for you. I haven't posted here much but I've followed and you've impressed me and given me much food for thought. Thank you.
Best going-forward-detaching wishes.
_________________________
Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac



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#1861885 - 10/25/09 02:08 PM Re: Free [Re: NoLongerHere]
karen43 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/27/07
Posts: 4886
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: BillM
Wow. Wow. Wow.

Things happened yesterday that made me believe my W is right - we're not compatible.

I'm OK with the M being over. I'm OK with moving forward in the most productive, unhurtful way.

I hope you're ok. I don't know that in one day you can discover your M should be over-for compatibility or whatever reasons. It took me almost 2 years to get to that point. I know everyone has different timetables, but...
_________________________
Me 49
D13, S19

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#1861949 - 10/25/09 05:39 PM Re: Free [Re: karen43]
BeTheMan Offline
Member

Registered: 06/21/05
Posts: 880
Loc: Ontario Canada
Bill - I have never posted on your thread, but have read it regularly.

So what if you got there in 1 day!!! You are there. I am proud (and a little jealous) of you.

Way to take YOUR life back.
_________________________
M-42
STBX-41

D-20
S-17

T-21
M-18 - Legally That Is.

Divorce Busted - Dec 05
Back Here - August 09
She Moved Out - Dec 09
Loving Life - Aug 2011

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#1861956 - 10/25/09 06:19 PM Re: Free [Re: NoLongerHere]
Gardener Offline
Member

Registered: 06/01/09
Posts: 3831
Loc: Connecticut
Bill,
Originally Posted By: BillM
Wow. Wow. Wow.

Things happened yesterday that made me believe my W is right - we're not compatible.

What things, if I may ask?
_________________________
Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac



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#1862360 - 10/26/09 02:23 PM Re: Free [Re: Gardener]
NoLongerHere Offline
Member

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 1485

I hesitate to post all this because it's going to sound like I've gone completely crazy.

My going out with a friend for lunch started at 11:30 and ended at 2:00 am. No, that did not include anything that "should not" have happened - we just kept doing things.

We clicked. It was clear at the end that there is a lot of potential there.

And yeah I saw her Sunday too.

W knew that I was "going out", but when she got home she said I was - her word - "giddy"

And she was devistated. Not that it was my intention.

I'm not DBing anymore guys. I'm moving on.

I told her, I'm not angry with you anymore, you're right that we need to move on with the D. I can be your friend, we can work through this together. So, just making this as productive and easy as possible.

I thought I was letting her off the hook. I really did. And now she's in more pain than she's been in through this whole process. It is difficult to see.

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#1862367 - 10/26/09 02:26 PM Re: Free [Re: NoLongerHere]
Gardener Offline
Member

Registered: 06/01/09
Posts: 3831
Loc: Connecticut
Originally Posted By: BillM

I hesitate to post all this because it's going to sound like I've gone completely crazy.
Not crazy at all. Good for you.
_________________________
Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac



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#1862382 - 10/26/09 02:43 PM Re: Free [Re: Gardener]
Steve McQueen Offline
Member

Registered: 01/15/09
Posts: 1866
Quote:
W knew that I was "going out", but when she got home she said I was - her word - "giddy"

And she was devistated.


Wait, Bill. It gets even better.

counter-intuitive

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#1862394 - 10/26/09 02:53 PM Re: Free [Re: NoLongerHere]
ClingingToHope Offline
Member

Registered: 09/07/09
Posts: 3068
Loc: Illinois, United States
Quote:
I told her, I'm not angry with you anymore, you're right that we need to move on with the D. I can be your friend, we can work through this together. So, just making this as productive and easy as possible.

Way back at the beginning a friend told me it's easier to get over someone when you have someone.
_________________________
Me: 45, Ds 15-11, D final 6-11
http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz
http://tiny.cc/thread2
http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu
http://tinyurl.com/thread4
http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6
http://tinyurl.com/thread6

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#1862480 - 10/26/09 04:12 PM Re: Free [Re: ClingingToHope]
LookingFrAnswers Offline
Member

Registered: 07/27/09
Posts: 342
Loc: OH
Wow! Bill, you're an inspiration. You've reached it - detachment. I wanted to send my support but also let you know that your posts have really helped me too, in many ways. You're so open in your posts yet keep them brief & to the point. I feel like I've learned a lot reading them. So thank you.

You sound at peace, and you should know, you really truly deserve it.

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#1862488 - 10/26/09 04:19 PM Re: Need input [Re: Eskimo Nell]
LookingFrAnswers Offline
Member

Registered: 07/27/09
Posts: 342
Loc: OH
Originally Posted By: Eskimo Nell
Originally Posted By: karen43
[I agree with what your say,




I think that sometimes we just have to accept that whilst there are still finances that tie our Rs together, one or other partner will continue to get shafted. It's how we play that out that's important at the end of the day. Personally, I don't make a song and dance about it. I just write everything down, keep receipts and spreadsheets. If and when it comes to the end (please God that it doesn't) but I shall be ready and be able to prove what I have paid since H became a WAH.


Thank you Nell, for this advice. True enough for me - our credit card, checking & savings are joint & he's putting his "new" living expenses on them. I am going to record his WAS expenses - they'll be no 50/50 split on those! Sorry for the hijack Bill. :-)

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